Anyone else feel like a failure here? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-06-2011, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe its just been a really rough day but I just can't seem to get DD, who just turned 3, to do what I ask! She fights me at any point that she doesn't agree with my request. 

 

I find myself giving into her requests more and more just to avoid the heartache of kicking, crying and pleading! I sat her in front of the TV today to feed her lunch, we must've changed her outfit 5 or 6 times in 10 mins, including clothes that are completely unreasonable for summer, like fleece feetie pajamas, because I've been so tired dealing with her today.  DH is usually great, but he's out of town.  I could leave her with my mom for a while, but I feel like she's picking up bad habits from both sets of grandparents who, I think, pretty much let her do whatever she wants (thats just my guess).

 

She's always been so sweet, but now, of course the weekend DH is away (even tho he's been on business trips before) things are just so out of hand.  I'm wondering what she did with my sweet little girl!!?

 

What do other moms do when your kids are getting so rebellious?

 

 


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Old 08-06-2011, 07:33 PM
 
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Just wanted to chime in and tell you that you are not alone.  Today is actually my dd's 3rd birthday and we had THE worst morning ever.  I was so excited to surprise her with a playhouse and she literally looked at it and walked away saying she wanted to get dressed ... this turned into a major meltdown when I said that she needed to eat breakfast first because she was going to be putting on a nice dress for a wedding we were attending that day.  One thing led to another and we had about 45 mins. of  meltdown.  I know a lot of it had to do with my expectations not being met but then I thought did I create a monster who doesn't even acknowledge when she is given a gift and completely digs in her heels when she doesn't want to do what we are asking?  I don't have the answers; but maybe some other Mom's will have some insight??


Wife to my loving husband, James.  Mother to a beautiful daughter, Jules (8/6/08).  Expecting twin girls September 19th, Jade and Jemma.

 

 

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Old 08-07-2011, 08:25 PM
 
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Oh 3 is soooooo hard.

 

I think the thing that helped me with my DD (who is now almost 8) was to pick my battles. Let her wear whatever she wants (really. Whatever.) as long as it is weather appropriate and not dangerous (heels, pants that could trip her, etc.) She wants the fleece feety jammies - say no but suggest a tutu and bikini combo.

 

The other wisdom that has come to me more recently is this: It is not about you. Don't take it personally.

 

This is harder than it seems.

 

But when she's losing her *&&%$ over whatever it is - it's not about you. Take a deep breath.

 

Give yourself a time out. (I would tell her: "I am having a hard time calming down and I need to take a time out." and then I'd go in another room. The first time I did it she about hit the floor with amazement. It taught her that it's ok to take a minute to get yourself together.) 

 

... gotta run - will add more when I think of it!


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Old 08-07-2011, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh gee! they are so bi-polar at this age. Its nice to hear the wonderful advice, not to mention to know I'm not alone out here!


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Old 08-10-2011, 10:50 PM
 
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Sounds like you need this thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/997869/parents-of-3-yr-olds-post-here-support-thread/140#post_16599478

 

It's a really old thread that was resurrected recently but it was exactly what I needed when I found it the other day. love.gif


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Old 08-11-2011, 09:17 AM
 
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Yesterday was our bad day. I felt like crying myself to sleep last night. It's just SO exhausting to be fought on every. single. move. all. day. long.

 

I like the bi-polar comparison - the swings with ds are SO drastic at times I don't know which ds I'm going to deal with in 5 minutes from now.

 


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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Old 08-23-2011, 04:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WELL... things are smooth and back to normal. My sweet little girl is my sweet little girl, again. How in the world did this all happen? Talk about bi-polar toddler?!! Curiouscanadian, thanks for the link. I will probably use it from time to time when necessary, and just enjoy the good moments!!


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Old 08-28-2011, 12:30 PM
 
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Our son is just two.  

 

However, all last week I felt like a failure.  Our home is a wreck.  I am a crummy cook and an even worse homemaker.  I don't have the patience of a saint... or even a saint in training.  Our son is an exuberant kid who makes my head spin sometimes.  All the stuff I was good at before becoming a mom doesn't fit into my SAHM life (except rock climbing which is my salvation twice a week) - so I don't feel like I am good at anything anymore.

 

So, in answer to your question... yup someone else feels like a failure here.

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Old 09-04-2011, 07:43 PM
 
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u definitely arent alone I went through same thing yesterday and it happens often. just wanted to send hugs


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