What was harder.....0 to 1.....or 1 to 2!!!???? - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Which was a harder on you/your family:
Going from 0 to 1 child 17 65.38%
Going from 1 to 2 children 9 34.62%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 22 Old 09-06-2011, 10:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
ladyleah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just curious what people think about this topic for the heck of it! I posted it in Life With A Babe a while ago, and now as my LO grows- I am wondering if the folks here in Toddler Land feel the same way (it was about a 50/50 split on the poll over there- btw)
 
Lots of pals said the shock of going from no kids to one was the toughest for them, and having two was no biggie...and others said the opposite.

And, of course, if you had multiples....this poll doesn't really apply to you!!  
ladyleah is offline  
#2 of 22 Old 09-06-2011, 10:52 AM
 
allisonrose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NoVa
Posts: 1,996
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I don't know. Both transitions were tough. DS1 was/is higher needs than ds2. If they would have been flipped, I would probably be saying 1 to 2.


Mama to Blake, 5, and Grant, 3
ribbonpb.gif
allisonrose is offline  
#3 of 22 Old 09-06-2011, 11:56 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 25,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Another one here that is spilt. Both were really, really hard. If forced I'd say 0-1 just because I had no idea what the heck I was doing back then but 1-2 was so bad that I only have faint memories of it. I think I purposely blocked most of it out. shy.gif

 

My view is probably colored by the fact that DD1 was an insanely difficult baby, well actually not much has changed, she is just a difficult 8 year old now! I cried many, many tears with a nonstop crying, never sleeping baby. DD2 got seriously ill as a brand new newborn and went on to have a lot of medical problems for an extended amount of time. It didn't make for the easiest adjustment from 1-2 when you are either stuck in the hospital with #2 and can't see #1 or can't take #2 outside the house for months and months.  I feel like i just ignored DD1 for the first year of DD2's life, and I really did, I had no choice but to choose between the two. 


There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#4 of 22 Old 09-06-2011, 06:24 PM
 
Nicole730's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I voted 0 to 1 was harder. Part of it is the having no idea what to expect the first time and in general being more comfortable as a parent the second time.  Another part for me is that my second child was/is such a good sleeper.  A good sleeper makes parenting a lot easier!


Mama to three

Nicole730 is offline  
#5 of 22 Old 09-07-2011, 08:58 AM
 
NZJMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Going from 1 to 2 was much, much harder for me. I thought that #1 was an easy baby and great toddler due to my superior parenting abilities :) HA! #2 really threw me for a loop and had some health issues to boot. It took me a good two years before things started to get easier. Now he is the sweetest 5yo you've ever met, but those first couple years were seriously rough.


Proud Mommy to my amazing boys (6 and 4) and my precious little girl (18 months).

NZJMama is offline  
#6 of 22 Old 09-11-2011, 05:53 PM
 
YayJennie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 857
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Zero to one was like no big deal at all.  One to two rocked my world.  Granted, my kids are 20 months apart, so I think that was the major difficulties I had.  But it was WAY different than I expected going from one to two and way more difficult.  Just my experience.


Jennie, mama to Wyatt (3/25/09) and Emma (11/22/10) novaxnocirc.gifhomebirth.jpg
YayJennie is offline  
#7 of 22 Old 09-11-2011, 08:47 PM
 
j.e.n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: where the buffalo once roamed
Posts: 64
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would concur with the others that said 0-1. For the pure fact of having no idea what you are doing!! My husband and I now laugh at how easy it was with just one baby with our four kids four and younger! :o) 

 

I had no idea what I was doing at first - no clue how challenging a high-needs baby was going to be with constant on-demand nursing and getting used to not being able to do anything without a production, etc, etc. After baby #2 arrived, we were already used to everything and a little more mellow.

 

That said, I think any time you add another child to the mix, it always complicates things!!

j.e.n is offline  
#8 of 22 Old 09-12-2011, 09:37 AM
 
Coconut Chronicles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Windermere Florida
Posts: 1,265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

notes2.gif


read.gifLisa married to geek.gifB WAHM to moon.gifC (08.09)

Coconut Chronicles is offline  
#9 of 22 Old 09-12-2011, 10:29 AM
 
gitanamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: High desert or Peruvian coast
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Even though we're only 4 months in (our son is 16 months) 1-2 has already been much harder for us. Like YayJennie said...it's rocking my world. My son is very active, spirited and willful and we're in frequent and intense temper tantrum mode. From 0-1, I just threw my little bug in the sling and went about my day.Granted, we didn't deal with colic and my husband and I have both been around lots of other babies so we weren't totally lost when our son was an infant. Now that the little guy is more mobile, I have to stay so much more aware and he seems to be constantly testing the limits. I'm a pretty patient person but I definitely find myself pushed to the edge a lot lately!


~may all beings be free from suffering~
gitanamama is offline  
#10 of 22 Old 09-12-2011, 06:50 PM
 
kayleesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 1,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would say 1-2 is harder than 0-1

Mom to K(7)M(4)and baby J(2)cold.gifhh2.gif
:

kayleesmom is offline  
#11 of 22 Old 09-16-2011, 12:23 PM
tzs
 
tzs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,624
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

0-1 was much harder by far!

1-2 i was so worried about (i thought it would be like the 0-1 but multiplied by 2) but i seemed to get a "grace period" to grow into it when #2 was a newborn and either sleeping or in the sling. it'll get tougher i'm sure, as she gets bigger and has actual "needs" of her own but right now at 3 months she's still kind of just tagging along for the ride.


Reluctant 'Sconie, chassid and mama to sweet toughie Ada Bluma 9/9/09 and loving pittie-mix ("Judge the deed, not the breed!")
tzs is offline  
#12 of 22 Old 09-16-2011, 02:47 PM
 
MacKinnon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 3,844
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can I say neither and pick 2 to 3? Really, that was the hardest. 0 to 1 was hard at the time, I was unprepared for how much my life would change, but it wasn't awful. 1 to 2 was super easy, my DS was an easy baby, and it was all fine. 2 to 3 has been rough, even with her at a year now, it's rough. She had reflux, trouble nursing, trouble gaining, I had had supply issues. I ended up supplementing for the first time when DD was 9 months. If it was DD1, I could have taken the time to shut myself away and focus on her, and get her to nurse more, but with two others? And a job? It was too much. For me, everything about 3 was the hardest, my pregnancy, her first year... I think much of that ends up being attributed to the babies personality though, you know? My DS was an insanely easy baby. He was SO easy and laid back, it as no trouble adding a second to the crew, he just rolled with it, whatever "it" was. DD2 couldn't do that. She was pukey, and not gaining well, and high needs, AND I had two other kids to chase. The return to work was a nightmare, despite the fact she was with Grandma. Before baby #3 I was on the fence about trying for #4, now, I'm done!

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

stork-suprise.gif expecting the surprise of our lives Fall 2012!
 

MacKinnon is offline  
#13 of 22 Old 09-16-2011, 03:37 PM
 
Chloe'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Fresno
Posts: 3,147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

I voted 1-2.... 

It took me 6 months after having DD1 to really feel into the swing of things. With DD2,  it was so EASY at first, then about 2 months, DD2 became so needy and it was so rough from 2-10 months.... Brutal.  Now, I am feeling a little more able to handle it and it is feeling good now at 1 year.  DD1 was super easy as ababy and became a little more difficult right around when DD2 was born, and DD2 has been much more needy from the beginning.  Both needed 100% of my time and attention for those long 8 months.  Now though, I am loving it!

 

I think it depends on the person, the children and the age gap.

 

 


SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)

Chloe'sMama is offline  
#14 of 22 Old 09-18-2011, 07:09 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I voted 0-1.  1-2 has its challenges but its nowhere near as life altering as 0-1.


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#15 of 22 Old 09-18-2011, 11:13 AM
 
Lovebuggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 49
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Without a doubt, going from 1 to 2 was MUCH harder.

Lovebuggy is offline  
#16 of 22 Old 09-18-2011, 05:35 PM
 
Perdita_in_Ontario's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Canada's National Capital Region
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I voted 1-2 as well. DD was not an easy baby particularly, more middle-of-the-road, but she was verbal very early, and that helps so much. While she was opinionated, she was also easily pacified at the breast.

 

About the time that I fell pregnant with DS, however, DD was hitting her 4s, and it was a difficult time for us. She had started junior kindergarten, and was somewhat resentful that DS had me to herself, and at the same time was now under the influence of a lot of other kids at school who were more, um, worldly, than she was. We worked through that, but she's still a sensitiv, reactive girl, and DS is a very LOUD and stubborn child, which can lead to some tense times if the parents are also tired!


Perdita - newly SAHM to DD July/05 & DS Feb/10 joy.gif
Perdita_in_Ontario is offline  
#17 of 22 Old 09-19-2011, 04:42 AM
 
kylie1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 80
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

0 to 1 was a sudden jolt when DD1 turned out to be a micro-preemie, 1 to 2 started out slowly but then DD2 ended up being PG and 2E. The jury's out on this one!


treehugger.gifgoorganic.jpg mother to micro-preemie DD1 and 2E PG DD2. Stepmother to trans DSD. Owned by acat.gif! Pregnant and due 6th June '12. cd.gifnocirc.gifbfinfant.gif

kylie1 is offline  
#18 of 22 Old 09-19-2011, 12:30 PM
 
NicaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 1,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For me, 0-1 was more of an identity issue--giving up my job and old life and becoming a sahm, finding new friends, etc. I liked th actual work of having a baby, but I was lonely and lacked confidence.

1-2 was a lot more difficult because it seemed like there was never enough of me to o around. I felt like I wasn't a good mom to either kid. I think 2 took away pretty much all our free time for the first year or so. Seems like dh and I fought pretty badly about time/chores that first year.

Getting ready to make the transition to 3.....

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

NicaG is offline  
#19 of 22 Old 03-18-2012, 11:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
ladyleah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Bumping for the fun of it!
ladyleah is offline  
#20 of 22 Old 03-18-2012, 06:16 PM
 
OkiMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,407
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I voted 0-1 although both had their challenges..

 

I had NO experience with babies prior to having my own. When I was 8 months pregnant I babysat my co-workers 3 month old and thought "wow this is easy".. Then I had my child. She didn't sleep, ate every hour (thank the Lord for breastfeeding and co-sleeping) and I had a horrible time breastfeeding. When she was 3 months old I left the military so I gave up what had been most of my life for 4 years. Then we moved from the states to Japan, which meant I gave up all my friends and family since we moved so far away. No support system lead me to get some pretty severe bouts of depression and I had a doctor that wouldn't prescribe antidepressants unless I was willing to wean. She also went through this crazy crying period between 4-10 months where she would cry for 4-8 hours straight every day no matter what I did. Her first year and a half I barely remember.

 

The hardest thing for 1-2 was 2 was a NICU baby. I wasn't prepared to have a child in the NICU and it took a toll on me mentally and physically. I had a rough start to nursing with her as well then my husband left for training for 2 months when she was 3 months old. Having 2 young children by myself was pretty rough. But I didn't get really bad depression and by then I had a support system of other spouses/military members I could turn to when I needed help or someone to talk to so it was easier.


~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
OkiMom is offline  
#21 of 22 Old 03-21-2012, 12:27 PM
 
coldandsleepy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Posts: 764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

0 to 1 was harder BY FAR for us.

 

1 to 2 hasn't been a big deal at all.

 

Part of this is that my second baby is muuuuch much easier personalitywise than my first.  My older son had bad reflux until he was about 9 months old and also was just less laid back, slept less, etc.  If I'd had them the other way around and had the easy baby first, then 1 to 2 might have been harder.  :)

 

But I do also think that for me at least, a large part of going from 0 to 1 was having all these life changes I didn't even think about/couldn't have foreseen.  I remember realizing, when my son was a couple of days old, wow:  I will never not be responsible for someone else again in my life.  Just wrapping my head around things like that was really hard for me.


Mother of two great little guys, G (9/28/09) and W (1/20/12)

coldandsleepy is offline  
#22 of 22 Old 03-24-2012, 08:49 PM
 
Carhootel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,287
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
1 to 2 is so much harder for me! DD (now 3mo) is just as 'easy' a baby as DS was but having 2 has rocked our world. Of course DS is now 3yo and so maybe it's the having a 3yo that's rocking our world too wink1.gif


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Charlotte wife to B momma to Q 2/22/09
Carhootel is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off