Adding a second middle name - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 11-10-2011, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My partner and I are considering adding a second middle name to our 14-month-old's name.  We might do this, we might not.  Her name is very plain and simple to the point of being not very unique (although very nice and suitable anyway).  I don't think a second middle name will upset her sense of identity, since she only knows her first name at this point anyhow. 

 

Since she was born, she has been revealing more of her (very dramatic) personality, and the second middle name I want to use has real personal meaning for me as well as reflecting a part of her ethnic background that her other names don't.  I think she will appreciate the "secret" name when she is older.  I'm more into the idea than my partner is; he doesn't want to mess up something that is basically good and simple.  But I think he also regrets the non-uniqueness of the name (that is to say, the original middle name, which you could probably guess just by thinking "now, what's the most common middle name on earth?") a bit. 

 

Has anybody ever done this?  Is it a weird move?  I want it to be her Christmas present, since it costs $100 to change a name legally! 

 

Any and all thoughts and advice will be very welcome...as long as you don't hurt my feelings :)

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#2 of 8 Old 11-10-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyO View Post

My partner and I are considering adding a second middle name to our 14-month-old's name.  We might do this, we might not.  Her name is very plain and simple to the point of being not very unique (although very nice and suitable anyway).  I don't think a second middle name will upset her sense of identity, since she only knows her first name at this point anyhow. 

 

Since she was born, she has been revealing more of her (very dramatic) personality, and the second middle name I want to use has real personal meaning for me as well as reflecting a part of her ethnic background that her other names don't.  I think she will appreciate the "secret" name when she is older.  I'm more into the idea than my partner is; he doesn't want to mess up something that is basically good and simple.  But I think he also regrets the non-uniqueness of the name (that is to say, the original middle name, which you could probably guess just by thinking "now, what's the most common middle name on earth?") a bit. 

 

Has anybody ever done this?  Is it a weird move?  I want it to be her Christmas present, since it costs $100 to change a name legally! 

 

Any and all thoughts and advice will be very welcome...as long as you don't hurt my feelings :)

 

 

I haven't done it, but I would for the right reasons (i.e. If the name was in remembrance of someone in our family or held some other important meaning to us).  Not that my opinion matters, but if the reasons I bolded are the main reasons you would do it, I say go for it.  Adding a second middle name because her current name isn't unique enough wouldn't be a good reason for me, especially because most people wouldn't know about it unless she chose to share it.

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#3 of 8 Old 11-10-2011, 05:24 PM
 
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Our DD has four names - a first name, a middle name, my last name, and then my husband's last name.  It was important to me that my name was carried down - if that makes sense.  I didn't change my name when I married, so I wanted to make sure DD had some of the family 'history' to carry with her.

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#4 of 8 Old 11-10-2011, 05:37 PM
 
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I changed my son's name this past summer (age 2.5).  I wanted him to have my last name so I bumped his old last name into 'second middle name' position and gave him the new surname.  So he now has firstname middlename oldsurname newsurname.  It really wasn't difficult and he doesn't know his full name yet anyway.  So I say go for it :)


Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
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#5 of 8 Old 11-11-2011, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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These comments all make sense to me...baby already has my last name, not my partner's, so I understand that part!  Also, in response to Mulvah's comment of

"Adding a second middle name because her current name isn't unique enough wouldn't be a good reason for me, especially because most people wouldn't know about it unless she chose to share it."

 

I can certainly relate to that, because it starts to seem like a vanity thing, like getting a special license plate for your car.  However, it's not just an issue of being unique but more of being special.  Does that distinction make sense to anyone besides me?  I think my daughter would like to have something extra and special, even if it was just for her to know about most of the time.  She loves mysteries and surprises and hidden things.  The middle name I would add was one that I was considering legally adding to my own name when I was in grade eight, and it has lots of meaning to me beyond that.  My partner basically chose our baby's entire name--first, middle, and last--himself (with my approval, of course) so it would be meaningful to me to have something of mine in there.

 

My hesitation is that, on the surface, this seems to be a lot about me.  Just look at how many times I've said "me" and "I" in this post.  But, I really think my special girl would like a secret name when she is old enough to know or care.

 

ps Nice Matisse picture Mulvah!

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#6 of 8 Old 11-11-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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My girls have two middle names.  I gave them three names with their surname because I grew up with an out of place plain name.  I actually had people ask me my name, think I'm kidding and say "really whats your real name."   So I gave them names of all the strong important women in my life.  And two first names I found lovely. 

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#7 of 8 Old 12-27-2013, 11:20 AM
 
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Good for u.i want to add a middle name to my 6 months old son?how do I do that?I am in fort Lauderdale Florida.someone help me please
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#8 of 8 Old 01-01-2014, 09:29 PM
 
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I think it sounds like a nice idea. My kids have extra middles with the idea that they may not always appreciate their unique first names and very unusual middle names. They each got a "boring" in case they feel the need later in life. 

 

But IMHO parental regrets don't make much a birthday present. Parental regrets should be the parent's birthday present to themselves.

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