Anybody else regret the name they chose for their toddler? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We are dealing with this in a big, big way.  The name we chose just absolutely doesn't seem to fit him (DH and I agree about this) and it is on my mind every single day.  We rarely call him by his given name, and his middle name is a family name that isn't one we want to use instead, so, unfortunately, that's not an option.  We usually call him by his nickname, which has nothing to do with his given names.

 

Is this very uncommon?  TIA for anyone's thoughts.  It is really bothering me.


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#2 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 11:12 AM
 
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I'm not a fan of my little's name either.  Lila.. it's a pretty name, but I don't know if it really fits HER. And it's so damn common that I might scream.  I grew up Amanda.. Every 3rd girl born in 1978 was named Amanda.   My first girl is Reya and it's lovely. I adore her name.  The baby's father was a serious thorn in my side on the whole naming thing! (umm I mean DH lol) We couldn't leave the hospital til we had a name and we spent HOURS trying to come up with something.  (after the 2 days we had to stay to begin with!)


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#3 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Amanda_Reyasmom:  I hear you on the "common name" thing, but I agree...Lila is just gorgeous.  If it is any comfort, know that Lily is very common where we live and Lila is much more unusual!  One reason I don't like our son's first name is that it is super common, though NEITHER of us had ever heard of it when we picked it except for seeing it one time in print...we thought we were so original!

 

My first name is one letter different from Reya.  I hated it growing up because I wanted to have a more common name, but I love it now!

 

DH and I had a terrible, terrible time picking our son's name and we actually didn't have a middle name for him until a couple of weeks after he was born.


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#4 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 12:53 PM
 
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Ohhh do not get me started on the middle name.  The hospital had the crappiest baby name book ever! I managed to get the less offensive first name, and DH got the middle names.. I was just too tired to fight lol.  My girl is Lila S*amera Tas*ia Plac*e.  It's choppy, it doesn't flow.. UGH. 


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#5 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 12:57 PM
 
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I've had my moments with both kids. My name is Ashley, and it was the most common girl name in the area when I was born. I had a minimum of 2 Ashleys in every class growing up, usually more. In 4th grade, my best friends were both named Ashley, and there were 2 other Ashleys in our class in addition to us. Our teacher started out calling us by our first name and last initial, until another Ashley arrived who had a last name with an initial matching one of the others, so the teacher had to number us. I have hated my name for as long as I can remember.

 

When DD arrived, I settled on Lyriel. It wasn't my first choice, but I liked it, and it was the only name her father and I agreed on, so I went with it. She was guaranteed never to have my above experience with a name like that, and I loved that. I had a lot of doubt during her first several years that I'd picked the right name, though. However, at nearly 7, I can honestly say that I did make the right call, because it totally suits her.

 

When I was pregnant with DS, I had a list of names I liked (just liked, never found anything I loved), but didn't have internet access to check the popularity of the names. I let DD make the final call, and she picked Liam. After he was born (and named), I started seeing Liams everywhere. I looked it up and it's been gradually rising in popularity over the years, and was #30 in 2010. Not as bad as Ashley, but I really hated that I'd stuck him with such a common name. I've toyed with the idea of coughing up the money to change it. However as time goes on, when I put aside the popularity of the name, I'm starting to think the name does kind of suit him. I just wish there weren't so many others.

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#6 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lyriel is 100% gorgeous!  Liam, rocks, too...I don't care if it's popular.  It won't be forever!


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#7 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 01:44 PM
 
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I LOVE DDs name but no one can say it in the US...which is where we live...I didn't think it would be a hard name but people call her all kinds of things...


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#8 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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I wouldn't say that I regret DD's name, because it fits her perfectly.

 

But, I am disappointed that it turns out to be a more popular name than I thought it would be. She already has a classmate with the same name, same spelling.

 

OP, if you have a nickname that you like for your son, I say stick with that! I have always gotten a kick out of unusual nicknames and I secretly wish that my DD will come up with some clever nickname for herself and/or us (I come from a family where there are a profusion of nicknames that we use as often as we use our regular names). I don't think it's that unusual for someone to go by a name that doesn't relate directly to their given name. Embrace it!


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#9 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 02:17 PM
 
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I wouldn't feel bad about using a nickname if you think it fits him better. I have a cousin whose name is Emily Michelle and when she was a toddler everyone in the family started calling her Jo. She's 18 y/o now and goes by the name Jo. It has nothing to do with her "real" name, but it fits her.


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#10 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 03:43 PM
 
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DS has a Hawaiian first name and English middle name. We want him to have a Hawaiian name, but sometimes I think we should have done it the other way around, English name and Hawaiian name.

 

Hawaiian names are typically very long and if he ever moves to the Mainland it will be hard for people to pronounce. We did the Hawaiian name first because DSS and DSD both have Hawaiian first names and Japanese middle names. I didn't want DS to grow up and ask why he was named differently.

 

I think when he gets older, like 16 or 18, if he legally wants to change it around - I would support him and pay for it to be done.


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#11 of 20 Old 12-01-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caedenmomma View Post

Amanda_Reyasmom:  I hear you on the "common name" thing, but I agree...Lila is just gorgeous.  If it is any comfort, know that Lily is very common where we live and Lila is much more unusual!  One reason I don't like our son's first name is that it is super common, though NEITHER of us had ever heard of it when we picked it except for seeing it one time in print...we thought we were so original!

 

My first name is one letter different from Reya.  I hated it growing up because I wanted to have a more common name, but I love it now!

 

DH and I had a terrible, terrible time picking our son's name and we actually didn't have a middle name for him until a couple of weeks after he was born.


We had the same issue with my first daughter's name. We made the rookie mistake of not looking at popularity charts because we'd never known anyone called that and had no idea it had recently become popular. We thought we were being original too...heh...it was #2 for the year our daughter was born. duh.gif I still love the name in itself, but the popularity does bug me a little.

 

Playing devil's advocate for a moment, if you both really regret it, why not change it? I know some people will be horrified at the idea, but if he's little (I'm assuming like 1 or 2 years old?) and goes by a nickname most of the time anyway, it shouldn't be a big deal to him. Something to consider, at least.

 

OTOH, FWIW (hey, acronyms!) I think Caeden is a lovely name. I was also reading an article the other day that made a good argument for common names:

 

Quote:
But maybe common names are more prudent. A recent study by the online security firm AVG found that 92 percent of children under 2 in the United States have some kind of online presence, whether a tagged photo, sonogram image or Facebook page. Life, it seems, begins not at birth but with online conception. And a child’s name is the link to that permanent record.

 


Mama to a preschooler and a baby.

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#12 of 20 Old 12-02-2011, 05:33 AM
 
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I don't actually *hate* DD2's name, but I don't LOVE it like I do DD1's if that makes any sense.  It would just be too weird to actually change it at this point.  I do wish DH had been more proactive in the picking of names and not waited til the very last week.  


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#13 of 20 Old 12-03-2011, 02:23 PM
 
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Oh lord this is a big one in our house. We dismissed many names we liked because they were too popular & finally settled on Aden because it didn't seem too popular & neither of us hated it. At the time. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be THE most popular name last year. Stupid sex in the city movie! It took less than a month for me to hate it & I've been talking about changing it since but dp wont let me.

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#14 of 20 Old 12-03-2011, 08:46 PM
 
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Do you have another name that you prefer? If so, I would say go ahead and change it! We actually changed our sons middle name when he was a little baby- had to go into a judge- not in a court- just in a small office, and sign a paper. No big deal and I am happy I did it! Have you considered changing it?

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#15 of 20 Old 12-03-2011, 09:45 PM
 
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I agree with the posters who suggest you consider changing it.  DD1's name turned out to be much more popular than I'd expected, too, but not nearly as popular as mine was.  My first name is Jennifer, which, of course, was the most popular girls' name for several years and was awful to live with.  I think if my parents had changed it when I was a baby I'd have grown up much happier with my name, and they'd have had a funny story to tell me later. 

 

Oh, and my parents DID change my little brother's name when he was just a couple of months old.  They didn't remove a name, but they added a new first name so his original first name became one of his 2 middle names.  His first name had been Thomas, and my mom realized she really did not like the nickname Tommy, and that he probably wouldn't be able to avoid it... so they just went back and added a new name.  Everyone forgot pretty quickly that his name had ever been anything different :)


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#16 of 20 Old 12-04-2011, 08:09 AM
 
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I have two friends with toddler boys that have "--ayden" sounding names. One has decided to call her son by his middle name (Robert, which is a way normal name but MUCH less popular than his "--ayden" sounding name) and the other calls her son by his first initial because she can't stand saying his name anymore because of all the kids that have the same name in her neighbourhood.  

It's too bad- those names really are nice sounding but I guess that's why everyone chooses them. When I was pregnant I thought the "--ayden" name epidemic was well known by then. Was it Britney Spear's kid who started it or Will Smith's? Sex and the City? Who knows? Those names were all over the top 100 name charts back in 2010.

I wouldn't feel bad about it though mamas, there will always be name trends- try to remember why you liked it and what it meant to you when you chose it for your special little ones.


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#17 of 20 Old 12-04-2011, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks to everyone who wrote back.  We are going to change it!  I am excited and nervous, but I think it's the right thing to do.

 

I just started another thread requesting advice on the right way to let friends and family know. 

 

I think the name selection process is so hard.  DH and I really, really struggled about it before our son was born, and my hope is that, with the new first name, our child will have a name which "found" him that fits him and DH and I will have some peace between us with something that has caused a lot of tension. 


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#18 of 20 Old 12-04-2011, 12:09 PM
 
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Good luck! It sounds like a good decision.

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#19 of 20 Old 12-05-2011, 02:40 AM
 
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I've seen your other thread so I realize this one is finished but I just wanted to chime in with another story of not knowing how popular our son's name was before we chose it.

 

 His name is Max and when we chose it we thought it was common enough not for him to be made fun of, but unique enough not for him to have like four other Maxs in his class. Well, I only recently looked it up and (we're in Germany) Max is the 8th most popular name and Maximillian (which is the German full name for Max, so all of them are called Max as well) was the 13th most popular in the year he was born. D'oh! I've already noticed other Maxs out there on the playground.

 

However, the name suits him perfectly so I'm actually glad I didn't look up the statistics before he was born because I wouldn't have named him Max in that case and it really is his name!

 

Also: we have a nickname we call him all the time. Some others have heard us calling him that and also call him that, so it's like he has two names sort of!


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#20 of 20 Old 12-05-2011, 04:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caedenmomma View Post

Thanks to everyone who wrote back.  We are going to change it!  I am excited and nervous, but I think it's the right thing to do.

 

I just started another thread requesting advice on the right way to let friends and family know. 

 

I think the name selection process is so hard.  DH and I really, really struggled about it before our son was born, and my hope is that, with the new first name, our child will have a name which "found" him that fits him and DH and I will have some peace between us with something that has caused a lot of tension. 


Yay, that's great news! :D I hope you find something else you love. I suspect some people may give you a hard time, but it's worth it if you really feel strongly about it.

 

 


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