Bad behavior on Playground- How to React? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 12-16-2011, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My son is 25 months old, and I am right along side of him on the playground. We have encountered some acts of bad behavior, from pushing him off of things he is playing with to blocking his entry to equiptment.

Sometimes the parent/caregiver is nearby and promptly corrects the child explaining why one doesn't behave in such a way, but other times no one seems to be attentive, let alone responsive.

 

Whenever possible I try to correct the situation verbally, sometimes I just redirect my son to something else. On occasion I have asked the child where their mother is.

 

What do you do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#2 of 11 Old 12-16-2011, 03:15 PM
 
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If someone's blocking something I say "Everyone can play". If someone's pushing, I'll say "Pushing hurts" (while looking directly at the offender).  

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#3 of 11 Old 12-17-2011, 11:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Dejagerw.

 

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#4 of 11 Old 12-17-2011, 04:29 PM
 
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I have to remind the bigger kids that the playground is for everyone at times when I'm there with my 17 month old. If the bigger kids get rough I'll say "He's a baby, you must be gentle around him please!". Generally it seems that the presence of an adult keeps most things calm. 


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#5 of 11 Old 12-17-2011, 08:13 PM
 
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I would be careful with this, because a lot of playgrounds actually say "For children 5 to 12."

 

While pushing a child is never okay, if a 5 year-old blocked another 5+ year old, they would be playing, and not necessarily construed as "bad behavior."  The other 5 year old would say, "Hey let me through" etc.

 

As a parent of a toddler and older kids, I am really sensitive to having to police my kid at the play ground because there is a child too young to be on the equipment . . .  

 

I think if you need to be on the equipment with your child then they are possibly too young to be there?  Maybe come at a time when the older children are in school or find a play ground specifically for younger kids--under 5? My younger kids love to explore wooded area, or play on a log, etc...

 

I agree in a sense that yes, the public park is for everyone, but that means other kids, too.  And older kids aren't little adults.  When I watch my 5 year-old play with her friends, they do stuff that I would be totally annoyed by --but her friends and her are having fun.  There are studies that show that a certain amount of rough housing is good for children--it improves executive function.

 

Now I don't know the specifics of each situation but I am very sensitive to kids being allowed to play on the play ground... I've had other parents tell my kids to not run on the play equipment because their much too small child was there.... um, sorry, but this is a place for children to run! 

 

... just my 2 cents.


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#6 of 11 Old 12-18-2011, 05:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forestmushroom View Post

 

 I've had other parents tell my kids to not run on the play equipment because their much too small child was there.... um, sorry, but this is a place for children to run! 

 

 

Yes!!!!

 

I take DS1 (who is 5) and DS2 (just turned 2) to our local playground all the time. The equipment there is obviously designed for the 5-12 crowd. If there are just a few kids I ''shadow'' DS2 to keep him safe, and if it's busy, then I get him off. 5 year-olds can push, and just act unruly when they play. It's normal, and fun for them. I'd be mad if a parent told my 5-y-o to not run or climb or horse around because a smaller child is playing. There are very few places where older kids can let off steam, and IMO the playground should be one of them.

 

OP, if the presence of older kids and the way they play make it unsafe for your child (I'm assuming the equipment is for their age group, not your toddler), I would simply remove him until you're alone.

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#7 of 11 Old 12-18-2011, 08:32 AM
 
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Adding.... the park we go to has two playgrounds. One for little kiddos and one for the over 5 year olds. 

I guess though that I don't understand why big kids can't play on another piece of equipment or be cautious of little ones if they happen to be there. Just good manners to me. If an older kid was there and becoming obviously distressed by the type of playing my kid was doing and I noticed it I'd ask my kid to be accommodating to the other child. 


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#8 of 11 Old 12-18-2011, 11:36 AM
 
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It really kind of depends on the park, and the kids.  Pushing is never okay, and I make it very clear that they need to be gentle (my guy is rarely smaller than the other kids - he's just younger).  I don't tolerate pushing any more than I would hitting. 

 

As for blocking, it would depend on whether it was deliberate (malicious?) or inadvertent.  I've seen both.  If it's inadvertent, I would just say "excuse us, can we get through here please", but if it's deliberate, then I'd tell them they need to share the equipment. 

 

And as for shadowing, I have to shadow my 27 mo on the equipment, whether it's meant for his age group or not.  He won't use it unless I'm right there encouraging him, even if he loves it.  But he's also autistic, which definitely has a bearing. 

 

My favorite parks though have separate areas for older kids and younger kids.  It's much easier to not have to be constantly policing if the older kids have their own area.  I also like to go to the park early in the morning (like 8), since it seems most parents around here don't go to the park until 9:30 or 10.  My little guy much prefers an empty park to a busy one (he'll ask to go home if it's crowded).  He can do whatever he wants on the equipment, run himself ragged and be done by the time the first other kids show up. 


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#9 of 11 Old 12-19-2011, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the feedback everyone. The issues have arose on the 2-5 equiptment that my son plays on. At times some have forced him or been too aggressive. His safety has been at risk. I understand rough play (I have read 'The Art of Roughhousing' book) and I agree that children need a place to let off steam. By far most of the children are considerate of him.

My frustration though led to me post and inquire how other parents handle a situation, when there doesn't seem to be close supervision at hand of the other child who is either too aggresive or forceful.

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#10 of 11 Old 12-19-2011, 11:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiago View Post

Thanks for the feedback everyone. The issues have arose on the 2-5 equiptment that my son plays on. At times some have forced him or been too aggressive. His safety has been at risk. I understand rough play (I have read 'The Art of Roughhousing' book) and I agree that children need a place to let off steam. By far most of the children are considerate of him.

My frustration though led to me post and inquire how other parents handle a situation, when there doesn't seem to be close supervision at hand of the other child who is either too aggresive or forceful.



In that case I would speak directly to the children per the recommendations above.  I've said to other kids (gently, but firmly) "We do not hit,"  for blocking the tunnel ,"please let us pass!" Kids usually respond positively.  :)


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#11 of 11 Old 12-21-2011, 04:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Carmel23.

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