i just spanked my 2 3/4 year old!! I am sick about it. - Mothering Forums
Life with a Toddler > i just spanked my 2 3/4 year old!! I am sick about it.
kfillmore's Avatar kfillmore 10:47 PM 01-04-2012

How o how after almost 3 years of fighting the rage that can happen do i spank her now? I am completely disgusted with myself. I am SICK SICK. How can I ever forgive myself. After I did it she sort of laughed wich she sometimes does when she is being told not to do something. She said "why did you do that mommy?" I can't stop crying. Can she ever forgive me? Have I permentanlty damaged her trust in me????? Will she forget or be scared???



lifeguard's Avatar lifeguard 12:27 AM 01-05-2012

We all have bad moments. Did you learn from it? What can you do differently next time you're in similar situation?

 

I recently found myself chasing my terrified 3 year old through the house after he ran in defiantly & locked me out. The look on his face haunts me. I will never allow myself to be that person again.

 

Apologize. Explain that you are not proud of what you did & you feel you made a big mistake. That is how she will learn how to fix mistakes. And then make sure not to do it again. Get outside help if you need to.

 

I think being honest with children goes a long way to maintaining their trust. Ds has never held our episode against me - but I will never forget it.


mamandedeux's Avatar mamandedeux 05:43 AM 01-05-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

 Get outside help if you need to.

 

 

 

See, this kills me.

 

The OP mentions that she has never, ever spanked in 3 years (the hardest years to parent, arguably), and it is being suggested that she may need to seek outside help? I do not condone spanking or any type of violence, but come on!

 

OP, you lost your cool. It happens. You'll both be fine.


Imakcerka 05:54 AM 01-05-2012

You apologize and move on.  While we all want to be the perfect parent that raises their kids perfectly without one shred of violence.  We all find ourselves dipping our toes in the water.  A swat, a spanking, yelling, head spinning green pea soup vomitting!  Look most of us have been there.  It feels ugly and we don't ever want to do it again.  BUT, you have done it and now you just need to reevaluate a better way to handle the situation.  When I feel I have crossed the line, I take a look at what got me there.  Maybe my kids were being very difficult and completely defiant... maybe I had had enough that day and it wasn't just about the kids.  I need to know how to remove myself from the situation and decide the right action to take.  And everyday I learn something new about me, my parenting and my kids. 


lifeguard's Avatar lifeguard 08:52 AM 01-05-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by mamandedeux View Post

 

See, this kills me.

 

The OP mentions that she has never, ever spanked in 3 years (the hardest years to parent, arguably), and it is being suggested that she may need to seek outside help? I do not condone spanking or any type of violence, but come on!

 

OP, you lost your cool. It happens. You'll both be fine.


You will see I said "if you need it" & that help could be as simple as talking to a friend. Only the op can know IF that would be helpful or necessary.

 


organicviolin's Avatar organicviolin 01:57 PM 01-05-2012

We've all been there at least once.  When I've lost my cool I've apologized saying that mama's make mistakes too etc.  I believe it's good to make mistakes then to fix them with lots of love and hugs....we all make mistakes - we are human!!


Blessed_Mom's Avatar Blessed_Mom 07:03 PM 01-05-2012

What does 'spank' mean?

 

My DD is 31 mos and I have given her one palm whack on her butt/or thigh sometimes (4 times in all her life) mostly during really bad situations. One example - I was changing her diaper after a poo and she kept getting her hand towards all the goo and I asked her to stop..and she didn't and I panicked  and yelled and she still didn't and I gave her a whack on the side of the thigh (she just stopped and didn't cry.. she didn't even wince. Well I didn't really hit her it was more a distracting measure). I always felt guilty but sometimes the situation is very provoking.

 

But did I spank her?


Adaline'sMama's Avatar Adaline'sMama 08:08 PM 01-05-2012
You made a mistake. Apologize and move on. She will not be forever scarred because you spanked her once- she laughed, right? Did she even get the message that you were angry? Dont beat yourself up too bad smile.gif
Tags: Toddlers
Up