My son acts like a girl - help me please! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 08:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My almost 2.5 year old son is acting like a girl (or just being a very lazy boy) and it really bothers me.  I cannot get him to do anything active. 

 

Every time I take him to playground all that he ever wants to do is swing.  He rarely ever wants to climb up and go on the slide or do anything that requires moving.  Even when he's on the swing he doesn't want to move his legs back and forth to swing himself.  With a baby in the carrier, I can't exactly chase him on the playground to make him climb, run, etc.  But I do a lot of verbal encouragement and physical chasing (as much as I can) to encourage him to go climb but he never wants to and it makes me want to pull my hair when at the end of my acting/chasing/jumping-around/being-exciting or what not all I hear is "i wanna go on the swing".  I cannot believe a child, especially a boy, can be this inactive!

 

Another thing, he loves to bike (tricycle) and he always wants to bike but every time I take him out on his bike around the neighborhood he moves (peddles) at the slowest speed possible I get tired just standing there waiting for him to get moving. Every time I take him out (1-2times daily) I end up totally annoyed and upset about his pace and my nagging, and I honestly do not enjoy taking him out at all at this point.  I spend the whole outing (just around the block) fighting with him because I'm trying to get him to go by saying or physically pushing his bike from behind and he absolutely refuses me to push him because he wants to "do it by myself", and then he doesn't!

 

Whenever we see kids playing in the neighborhood, he would stop to watch and never move again. He just stands there and watches and watches and watches and I can't get him to leave.  Many times I'm so embarrased that he is watching so much.  By the way what can I do about this?  Is this even common for this age?

 

This problem bothers me at many levels. 1) It is not healthy that he doesn't get any regular exercise at all, and exercising as part of self-care and wellness is a very important value of mine that I want to pass on to my kids from a very young age.  2) I expect a boy (a man) to be active, energetic and athletic. A man like him would just make me want to throw up, and I can't even wrap my thought around the fact that this is my son at 2.5 y.o we're speaking and what kind of man (if at all) he's going to grow up to be.  3)  Laziness is a trait that I absolutely cannot live with and again I can't believe this is my son!  4) It just makes me mad that I'm totally tired chasing, jumping, yelling, dancing, being exciting, just to get him to move his body and he won't move a single bit. I feel like the biggest idiot, and you know what makes me even angrier?- him misbehaving (throwing, banging, jumping & stepping where he's not supposed to) in the house clearly saying that he's got access energy that needs to be released and I take him outside and he acts like an unmovable stone.

 

Maybe this post wasn't titled that well - I don't believe girls would even act like this; I should have probably just said that my son is a lazy ass!  (sounds terribly mean but this laziness)  Help please!  What can I do to help him be more active?  (the put on music and dance ideas obviously doesn't work here, we're talking a living stone here!)

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#2 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 09:11 PM
 
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Moving slowly at that age sounds normal to me, even for a boy. Kids get distracted, they look around, they are just learning to do things. It's easy to get impatient--I find I have to plan 25 min just to walk to the playground with my 3 y.o. when it is about 4 blocks away.  

 

Also, he might sense that you really want him to move--you've voiced a lot of impatience here and kids do pick up on that. He might be retreating from the pressure that he senses from you. 

 

Finally, you might want to focus a little bit more on his strengths. He sounds like a sweetie, but you should remember that he is his own person and may not turn out in every way as you expect. He might turn out to be a quiet kid who likes to read more than he likes to move--would that be so bad?

 

He sounds normal to me--just relax and enjoy! He'll be running faster than you soon enough.  :)

 

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#3 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 09:26 PM
 
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I have a ds like yours. In fact, he came after 3 sisters so his favorite things are pink. It's all good.

 

He does play in the playground, but mostly sitting in the sand. He'll do the slide a bit, but really he's   a chilled kind of guy. My girls are actually much more active. People asked me all the time, what's it like havinga boy after 3 girls, keeps you on your feet, eh?? Well, no, he's a chilled out guy. (playing with babies as I speak...)

 

Anyway now he' s4, and still a chilled guy. Starting in the womb (we had an extra ultrasouond at 32 weeks and a run to the hospital at 34 weeks both for non movement.

 

Embrace your son's personality. A lot of what you are seeing might be new sibling itis, needing some more love, attention, and spoiling. As he gets older, you can try to encourage activities he enjoys so he can get excersise. Don't worry, let him grow into himself a bit. 

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#4 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 09:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamaluu View Post
This problem bothers me at many levels. 1) It is not healthy that he doesn't get any regular exercise at all, and exercising as part of self-care and wellness is a very important value of mine that I want to pass on to my kids from a very young age.  2) I expect a boy (a man) to be active, energetic and athletic. A man like him would just make me want to throw up, and I can't even wrap my thought around the fact that this is my son at 2.5 y.o we're speaking and what kind of man (if at all) he's going to grow up to be.  3)  Laziness is a trait that I absolutely cannot live with and again I can't believe this is my son!  4) It just makes me mad that I'm totally tired chasing, jumping, yelling, dancing, being exciting, just to get him to move his body and he won't move a single bit. I feel like the biggest idiot, and you know what makes me even angrier?- him misbehaving (throwing, banging, jumping & stepping where he's not supposed to) in the house clearly saying that he's got access energy that needs to be released and I take him outside and he acts like an unmovable stone.

I have not read ay other responses. But...

 

A lot of people just aren't that athletic. Or interested in sports, being physically active, etc.

 

When I had my son, I was sure he was going to be an athlete. Baseball player, in particular. Catcher/first baseman. Boy, did I work with him. I cannot tell you how frustrating it was to see my boy hanging out in right field (right field? RIGHT FIELD?!?!?!),), picking flowers and watching the clouds. It was so hard not being "that" parent. He's just never been a real physical person. He gave it a few good shots in MS and HS, but sports just weren't his thing. He's much more into the arts.

 

Now, my daughter? SHE is my athlete. Plays field hockey year-round, runs to stay in shape, etc. She's the one all the guys want on their team in PE. Played Little League with the biys when she was younger. Plans to study athletic training in college.

 

All kids are different. Regardless if gender. Chill out a bit, and learn who your son is. Not who you would like him to be, but who he IS. You may be pleasantly surprised.

 

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#5 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 09:46 PM
 
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http://www.amazon.com/My-Princess-Boy-Cheryl-Kilodavis/dp/1442429887/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325828626&sr=8-1

 

You may find this book enlightening.  There is nothing wrong with your child.  There is something wrong with your expectation of 'men'.


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#6 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 09:51 PM
 
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Hey There-

Mother of 2 girls here and both my girls are very active as are many of the girls I know.... Being active is not just a 'boy' thing.   At this age, there are not a whole lot of differences between girls and boys, The title of your post was a little offensive to me (an active woman, with 2 active girls)

 

That being said, my sister has a boy and a girl that are much less active and she needs to work at getting them to be a little more active.  If your son only likes to swing at the park, perhaps take him somewhere else so he can explore in different ways.  Redlight, ring around the roses, duck duck goose.... My dd1 and I used to play it (just the 2 of us) all the time when it was not great weather outside.  Dance parties, freeze.... whatever it takes to get him interested.

 

Anyways good luck


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#7 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 10:16 PM
 
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A few things popped out at me.  First, kids move at their own pace.  It's infuriating and frustrating to parents but it is what it is.  Kids, no matter the gender, will just move at their own pace.  Try changing your expectation about his tricycle outings.  Instead of seeing it as an exercise opportunity see it at an opportunity to soak up some sun and make some vitamin D.

 

About this swinging, many children (and adults!) find swinging to be soothing.  He could be soothing himself with swinging.  Did you use a baby swing with him or wear him a lot?  If so he might be trying to recreate that motion in order to restore internal peace.  Also, swinging is very active, why are you protesting it?  Another thing that might be happening is he might be having a fixation/obsession with swinging.  He might move on in a month or so after he's had his fill.

 

One last thing, but have you thought about sensory problems?  He might be pokey on his tricycle trips because he's overstimulated by everything he experiencing.  Swinging is a good way for children with sensory problems to self-regulate.  And getting a lot of nagging from you about his "laziness" might make him withdraw because he can't deal with it.

 

ETA:  I was checking out your other threads and found this one from last year about your hyper toddler.  Maybe he finally got the message to calm down?

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#8 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 10:28 PM
 
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Also, I feel compelled to add, I was a little disturbed by this part: "A man like him would just make me want to throw up..."

 

If your boy senses that from you, he will be very sad indeed, to feel like he is not good enough for mama.

 

 

 

I agree with the advice about learning who he is, not who you want him to be.

 

From a couple of your other threads it sounds like you have had very high expectations for him--easy to do when he seems so much more mature than your baby, but he is very little still. I am all about empowering kids and having them do things, but they also need to be able to go at their own pace. It's a balancing act for sure. 

 

 

 

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#9 of 107 Old 01-05-2012, 11:04 PM
 
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I understand you are coming here for support and I really want to give that to you. Your expectations of your son, including a lot of gender stereotyping, is worth taking on as a topic independent of his playground actions. Nagging and pushing your son for not going fast enough on a bicycle sounds pretty extreme. I think the problem is you, frankly. I mean, if the kid can't even ride a bicycle without being criticized then why bother? I'd sit there like a lump too if it would allow me some peace. Ease up, Tiger Mom. I think you've got to some other issues that are surfacing in your relationship with your son. Are you in a stressful transition right now? What is your relationship with the father, or better ... your father? 

 

 


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#10 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 05:17 AM
 
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I agree that you need to chill. You can't, and shouldn't, force your son to be someone he's not. It won't work, and he'll only resent you for it. And I've never noticed activity level in toddlers being related to gender........

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#11 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 05:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovepickles View Post

I understand you are coming here for support and I really want to give that to you. Your expectations of your son, including a lot of gender stereotyping, is worth taking on as a topic independent of his playground actions. Nagging and pushing your son for not going fast enough on a bicycle sounds pretty extreme. I think the problem is you, frankly. I mean, if the kid can't even ride a bicycle without being criticized then why bother? I'd sit there like a lump too if it would allow me some peace. Ease up, Tiger Mom. I think you've got to some other issues that are surfacing in your relationship with your son. Are you in a stressful transition right now? What is your relationship with the father, or better ... your father? 

 

 


 

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#12 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 05:46 AM
 
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frankly i find your post so offensive in several ways i cannot think of a way to respond that won't get me banned.

what in the world does your son's behavior have to do with sex? 

also- "a man like that would make me want to throw up?"  what is WRONG with you?


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#13 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 05:56 AM
 
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I don't even know hot to respond to this.....HE IS 2.5......I don't know what you want.  Kids at that age do what they want.  I can not even begin to wonder what you wish to accomplish with this////  I think that you need to take a step back and just enjoy your ds.

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#14 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:01 AM
 
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"a man like that would make me want to throw up"... this statement makes me want to vomit! it's so, so wrong on so many levels! and just plain MEAN. greensad.gif
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#15 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovepickles View Post

I understand you are coming here for support and I really want to give that to you. Your expectations of your son, including a lot of gender stereotyping, is worth taking on as a topic independent of his playground actions. Nagging and pushing your son for not going fast enough on a bicycle sounds pretty extreme. I think the problem is you, frankly. I mean, if the kid can't even ride a bicycle without being criticized then why bother? I'd sit there like a lump too if it would allow me some peace. Ease up, Tiger Mom. I think you've got to some other issues that are surfacing in your relationship with your son. Are you in a stressful transition right now? What is your relationship with the father, or better ... your father? 

 

 


This. I feel nauseated at the thought of you harping at him this way. He can sense the way you feel about him you know. Get some therapy.
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#16 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:07 AM
 
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What I get from reading your post (which I had hoped was a joke!) is that girl = lazy, submissive; boy = aggressive, impulsive and thoughtless.

 

and that you are constantly sending a message to your son that you don't like who he is or what he does.  While your sexism offends me, your post makes me feel really sad for your son.  I can too easily imagine a little kid who's feeling shy and just learning about the world being goaded, teased and yelled at by his mother.  It's heartbreaking and I think you need some serious intervention to help both you and your son.


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#17 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:20 AM
 
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I too am really sicken (as I was with the other recent thread) - these choices of insensitive words and narrow minded views!

 

 

VERY VERY SAD FOR THESE CHILDREN

 

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#18 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:24 AM
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Mama, to call your son a lazy ass and say that how he is makes you want to throw up are pretty harsh things to say about your baby.  I really recommend individual therapy for you to help you figure out how to come to a more loving and accepting stance towards your perfectly normal, sweet little boy.  I don't think his personality is the problem here. Do you have PPD? Marital problems? Regardless, your attitude towards him is not OK and is very damaging towards him.  

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#19 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:27 AM
 
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Ok... this is where expectations are formed due to what you're told to believe by all the crap around you.  Dividing men and women by how they should act is not taking into account that the body is just a temple.  That is all.  The soul is who you are.  You need to step back and understand that you have allowed the conditioning of society to color your views of how to raise a healthy person.  Honestly most people are like this.  From the mouth of J. Krishnamurti... "Why don't you change?"

 

 

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#20 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:37 AM
 
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I'm going to be very blunt here.  The sexism in your post is awful.  Kids have different personalities and interests.  It's not about being male or female.  It's really sad if you can't accept your son the way he is.

 

As for not being active, everything you mentioned sounds normal for the age.  Many people hate pushing kids on swings.  I understand that.  BTDT.  Some kids love to be pushed and take forever to learn to pump their legs.  It's annoying.  You can set limits if you want.

 

Also I do understand about the tricycle.  One of my kids was the worst rider at that age.  I hated that thing.  It passed though as it always does.  It turned out that the trike wasn't a good fit for him and he couldn't pedal correctly.  He did much better on a different type of bike.  That may not be the case with your son, but that's just an example.  Slow is a normal pace for that age.

 

As for him not being active enough.  He's so young.  Many kids that age aren't really ready for playground equipment by themselves.  From what you write, it sounds like you're really nagging him a lot.  I think stepping back and letting him find his own way would be better.  There's plenty of time to let him develop and find activities he likes.

 

I also hope that you can learn to love him for himself, not what you expect a boy to be.

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#21 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:46 AM
 
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a man like your SON makes you want to throw up?  oh what a coincidence!  A mom like you makes ME want to throw up!

 

Hey guess what!  Some 2 year olds move slowly and want to watch the action!  My kid does that.  She is plenty active but with new people and new situations, she wants to just sit back and watch for awhile.  It has nothing to do with being a GIRL you sexist half brain.  It has everything to do with her coming to an age where she understands that social situations require a certain behavior and she wants to be sure she knows it by watching others first.

 

Tons of people, men and women, aren't very active.  and tons of people, men and women, are.  Again sexist lady, it has nothing to do with whether they are men or women but what their interests are.  I can't stand sports.  My husband is wholly uninterested in being any more active than required for his job.  It doesn't mean any of us are LAZY.. we still get everything done that needs to be done.  We are still healthy.  We are also HAPPY.

 

Your kid is only 2 and you are already yelling at him about being lazy.  You are already nagging and fighting with him and getting mad when his pace isn't the same as yours.  When he hits those teenage rebellious years and never wants to be around you and says he doesn't like you?  Remember how you were calling him a LAZY ASS when he was only TWO and already telling him he's acting like a girl... and ask yourself if it's just teenage rebellion or if you brought it on your damn self.

 

He's two.  He needs a loving supporting home, unconditionally.  He doesn't need to be told he's lazy and acting too much like a girl.  He needs you to love him and find ways to give him an environment he needs.  If he won't ride his trike around the block, what about in the drive way?  what about playing in the yard?  Maybe he'd do better in a gymnastics class for exercise.  figure out what he needs rather than treating him like scum for not fitting into what YOU want.

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#22 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 06:51 AM
 
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Hey all, we shouldn't be bullying this woman.  She's just closed minded and set in an idea that honestly is detrimental to raising a healthy child.  Lets just tell her she needs to rethink her mindset and move on.  She's obviously too entrenched in this negative thought pattern that we all might be wasting out time anyway.

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#23 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 07:07 AM
 
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The fact that you feel that a lazy ass boy (your words not mine) = a girl really disgusts me, and not just because I have two daughters. I hope your son never hears any of the thoughts you posted because it would certainly be incredibly hurtful to him.
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#24 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 07:16 AM
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It sounds like you're in a classic power struggle.  Inside, your ds acts out because he wants your attention.  Outside, he acts out in a different way, again, because he wants your attention.  His gender has nothing to do with this - he's expressing his toddler-hood.  Toddlers act out to test their power in the world.  When your son gets your attention, he's powerful. 

 

The only way to change his behavior is to change your behavior.  Re-structure your space so that there are fewer ways for your son to get into trouble outside.  How can you avoid having areas in your house where your son isn't allowed to step?  What's the safe place in your house for him to run and jump?  Try to minimize your intervention to health and safety issues, and praise the behavior you want to see so that he gan exercise his power in a positive way.  When you're outside, try to find some zen with his choices.  He's going to do what he wants to do.  You don't need to find ways to make him run.  He will want to do it on his own eventually.  As much as you can, focus on the positive.  Make sure he feels your approval when he is approaching or attempting the exercise you want him to get.  When he's not doing as much, take a breath, step back, let him do what he needs to.  Save your intervention for when it's needed for health and safety. 

 

Short of maiming household pets, I can't think of anything my children could conceivably do that would make me want to throw up.  And my kids are no angels - my 3yo made herself barf at the dinner table when we failed to honor her objections to tofu, and we once had to have a very serious talk with our 10yo about exactly how not OK it is to tell your little sister that if she takes a break from Candyland to use the bathroom, you're going to put the game away and stop playing with her.  Just like your conflicts with your ds, these situations were both about power.  Your feeling that your son's behavior is repulsive suggests that you've let yourself get over-invested in controlling your child's behavior.  I don't know how the gender issue wound up in there, but I'm going to guess it reflects a long personal history of living with gender-specific expectations for behavior.  For 2-10 year-olds, age and development play a much bigger role in determining behavior than gender (and even then, only because girls are starting to hit puberty and the hormones can be wacky).  Certainly, you're not going to improve your son's behavior by telling him he's too girly.  Step back, take a deep breath, try to find a little zen. 

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#25 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 07:33 AM
 
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OK.. first, I'm just going to say it.  WHY is it always so bad to act like a girl?  It's bad if girls act like girls, it's bad if boys act like girls.  "You throw like a girl" "You run like a girl"  I am a girl, I have a daughter, why are girls always the less preferred sex around here?

 

ANYWAY..... Back to the subject.  There are very different kind's of kids.  Some are the daredevils, some are the observers, some need to watch for a while, then they feel more comfortable and join in.  We are all born with different temperaments.  Not every kid fits well into his family.  But, usually as we all grow together, we find out we like those parts of our kids more than we thought we would.

 

My own daughter didn't really fit into the ideas I had of her.  I gave her a strong name that I thought would fit her well, and I bought her the kind's of clothes I thought would be her personality....but, pretty soon, she let me know that she isn't the person I envisioned.  She had her own ways of doing things, she liked different things than I wanted her to like.  

 

I put her in soccer, because that's what the cool kids do.  She ran a little, but never really tried.  She's not competitive.  So, I put her in gymnastics...but, turned out, she wasn't a risk taker.  So, I begrudgingly put her in dance.... I hated the idea of being a dance mom... of walking around carrying a pink satin bag with little tap shoes and tights...but, I thought I'd give it a try... I sat in the room with moms who wore bedazzled blue jeans and high heels, and shirts with rhinestones.  (gag)  My daughter came out happy and excited for her next class.... she pretended to tap dance ALL.  THE.  TIME.  Everywhere.  She learned to shimmy, and shimmied all over the house.  It was annoying for a while.

 

But, by the end of the first year, I was hooked too.  I loved it, I loved spraying sparkle spray on the girls, I loved making bows and scrunchies for her hair.   I'm still friends with all those bedazzled women.

 

So, it took me five years, but I figured out that my daughter was exactly the kid  I needed, and fit my lifestyle perfectly.  

 

She's slow, she's pokey, she takes forever to get from the car to the store...it still drives me nuts.  But, I live with it.

 

Now, she's grown, and she's a total geek..... her geekieness is beyond my comprehension.  So, when I was buying gifts for her, I went to Etsy, found things I thought she might like, then asked the owner of the Etsy store to explain it to me, and help me buy her weird "DR Who" Iphone case and T-shirt.  She's a weird girl, but I am learning to embrace her weirdness, and respect that I usually have NO clue what she's talking about. 

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#26 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 07:47 AM
 
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Okay, OP, you've had some harsh, but honest, responses, so I'm going to take a deep breath and moderate my own reply and focus on your concerns about your son's activity level and behaviour. 

 

1. It is completely normal and typical for some children to watch others at play and take their time before joining in, if they ever do. Perhaps he likes individual play rather than group/team play. Perhaps he's introverted and needs time to gauge how others are playing and needs to make a personal connection before he joins in with others. Perhaps he's perfectionistic and needs to be sure that he won't mess up before he tries an activity. Perhaps he's content to enjoy the theatrics of others, rather than performing himself. None of those things is bad or evil. None of them reveals a horrible fatal personality flaw.

 

2. Upthread, a pp mentioned sensory overload as a possible explanation for his hesitation and inactivity. Another possible explanation is that he has low muscle tone and/or a tendency to early muscle fatigue. This isn't a disability requiring therapy but it does tend to affect activity levels. Sports like swimming, gymnastics and dance (yes, boys dance and it requires a huge amount of athletic ability) are helpful to develop overall muscle tone, strength and endurance. 

 

3. I really hesitate to raise this next possibility, but I hope you will consider it with empathy and understanding for your son, and not blame or fault. Perhaps this is a way that he has found (not consciously or intentionally) to keep your attention and get you involved with playing with him, rather than focusing on the baby. Even if you are giving him mostly negative attention and critical feedback while he is at the playground, he may be craving some one-on-one time with you. It is a negative cycle with him engaging in behaviour that you disapprove of, but it attracts your attention and involvement. I have no idea if this is the case. If it is, then the answer is to give him lots of positive support and attention and encouragement, not just at the playground but otherwise as well. 

 

I agree with promoting healthy, active lifestyles, but the emphasis must be on *healthy* - not just physical health, but also emotional and psychological too. Help him figure out what kinds of activity he enjoys and wants to participate in, and support him in those endeavours.  

 

FWIW, I agree with pp that you need to examine your attitudes about gender and play and your emotions and reactions to your son, and work on accepting him as he is, not as you want him to be.

 

 

 

 

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#27 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 07:53 AM
 
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olly, you're so smart.  and nice.  bow.gif


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

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#28 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 07:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

 

 

2. Upthread, a pp mentioned sensory overload as a possible explanation for his hesitation and inactivity. Another possible explanation is that he has low muscle tone and/or a tendency to early muscle fatigue. This isn't a disability requiring therapy but it does tend to affect activity levels. Sports like swimming, gymnastics and dance (yes, boys dance and it requires a huge amount of athletic ability) are helpful to develop overall muscle tone, strength and endurance. 

 

 

 

 



This. Though, honestly, an OT evaluation wouldn't hurt. Unaddressed sensory issues can often look like a slow, pokey kid (or a hyper, off-the-wall kid, like my "boyish" little girl), and both tone and sensory issues can leave long-lasting problems when not picked up early.


Doctors aren't out to kill you or your children. Childbirth isn't inherently safe. Science is actually smarter than your intuition. Lighten up. Use sunscreen.

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#29 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 08:01 AM
 
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I have a 2.5y DS that often just watches. His favorite thing on the playground is the swing, he will sit in one for hours and hours. When I finally can not push anymore, he gets down, makes one circle around the playground and comes right back to the swings signing more. Ok, then. He does run and jump just not always when I'd like him to. Like at the playground where he can burn off some energy instead of bouncing off my couches at home, but oh why. Kids this age learn by watching while he is standing there watching other children play, he is making important observations about ay too many things to list and yes some of them might be, "well, I certainly don't want to do that." but is is important behavior anyway. He may too be overwhelmed to run around at a park or join in with other children, a 2 year old is still very immature. And if he turns out not to be a rockstar at sports that is ok, there are many, many people out there that would rather do something else then play baseball, just my example of a sport. And they are all ok. The more you try to force children to be what you what them to be, the more they do the exact opposite. And I do say it from experience coming from a family where my father prized sports over anything else. ANd I was the uncoordinated child that just couldn't do it, and I didn't want to, I would rather study or read a book. It developed into a lifelong fear of doing anything like that in front of other people. I would love to take an exercise class but I'm too scared to even do that. Someday I will work on that fear but for now, I stick to work out in the safety of my own house where no one can laugh or taunt me, I know that really wouldn't happen, but 30 years later, my father's words still echo in my mind, wanting me to try harder, to be better, that I could do it, when I just could not, that was my best. And me. Very accident prone me, gave birth to a girl who is obsessed with sports, and quite talented at many, many of them. Our children are who they are. 


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#30 of 107 Old 01-06-2012, 08:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hildare View Post

olly, you're so smart.  and nice.  bow.gif

 

Aww, thanks innocent.gif ! Although, in this case, honestly it was easy to swallow what I was originally going to write because so many got there before me! 

 

 

 

 

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