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toddlers
632 views 3 replies 4 participants last post by  sarahr 
#1 ·
Even though I don't really consider him a "toddler" yet! He recently turned 12mo

I really don't know what to do here. My first didn't do this so I'm lost. (When they say "They're all different" it's serious)

He gets to the point that he's so upset and hysterical that he won't let anyone comfort him. Last night I couldn't hold him while I was making dinner (and he doesn't like to be worn around the house unless he's napping) and he didn't want Daddy. He was throwing himself out of Daddy's arms so DH put him on the floor. When I got to a pause point and walked over to pick him up he threw himself AWAY from me. He pulled at my leg a few secs later so I picked him up. He promptly pushed his feet into my tummy and thew himself backwards. I had to put him down (I would have thrown my back out or dropped him otherwise) He screamed...and screamed...and screamed...I sat on the couch and he came over, leaned toward me, and then threw himself back. Repeat. We put him in the highchair to eat dinner and he sat and screamed for half of it and then still refused to eat. It was a big deal that he finally drank some water.

We went upstairs for bedtime bath and he was fine! We all read a book (I also have a 2.5yo) and the boys went to bed.

He must have thrown 2-3 tantrums like this yesterday. Same deal each time: throwing himself out of my arms, screaming hysterically, etc...

DH suggested I bring a Pack-N-Play downstairs to have a safe place to contain him while he does this...it just seems mean. But if he won't let me comfort him what else am I supposed do?
 
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#2 ·
I used the pack n play idea (kept it where ds could see me at all times - we lived in a teeny apartment), for the exact same reason. He learned to calm down quickly in there, and knew he would get cuddles when he was ready. I also put a few toys in there (stuffed animals, books - nothing that could hurt if he threw it). It felt kind of like a timeout, but like you I couldn't comfort him at all when he was acting that way, and he was in danger of hurting himself.

While ds was in there, I would calmly do something nearby - cooking, dishes, read a book - and wait until he was ready for cuddles. Then we would talk about how throwing tantrums like that is dangerous (I know they don't fully understand yet, but saying it was good practice for me).

Lastly, it passed. DS is now 3 and we have different challenges, but not that one thankfully.
 
#3 ·
I don't know that you *need* to do a pack n play for this to work; just calmly do whatever you are doing, reminding your LO you are ready for cuddles when he's ready. Sometimes with my DS (just turned 2) I set him on the couch and just sit next to him- not touching - until he's ready to interact.

A lot of times distraction works. bathtime, outside time, just a change of scene in general. Sometimes I'll sit on the floor and start playing with something - usually blocks - and he'll come over and play with me.
 
#4 ·
Was this unusual or typical? Especially since it happened at dinnertime, he didn't eat, and then was fine when you started your bedtime routine, he sounds like he was way overtired. The only thing possible to do is get a quick snack into him (if he'll take it), put him to bed, and then make dinner afterwards. Of course, that's not always possible, and when it's not, you just deal with it until you can put him to bed.
 
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