Extreme Diaper Change Melt downs - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 04-12-2012, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So let me start off by telling you the temperament of my little guy. He is nineteen months old. Hes big in the 95% and surprising very strong. He is a very hyper, loud aggressive little dude with a very strong personality. Every thing is a battle. From brushing teeth, getting dressed, getting him into his high chair even when I know he is very hungry, just getting him out of his play yard in general, it just seems like he is always doing the opposite of what ever we need to get done. This diaper changing ordeal just has me at my wits end!

 

He squirms, and crys, and screams. He tucks his legs in making it sooo hard to even get his pants or diaper off. He flips overs, arches his back when I'm holding his leg. He some times grabs the poopy diaper and trys to fling it. He grabs at my cloths, hits me, pinches and grabs my skin and scratches me to wear I am bleeding. He has kicked me in the stomach, breast, and face.

 

I have tried telling him "oh you have lots of poopy/ pee pee, ready to change your diaper" "oh buddy your stinky time to change your diaper". I have just picked him up with no warning and went straight to the changing table. Tried getting him to walk into his room to the changing table. How ever I start it I get the same results.

 

I have tried completely ignoring all of this, singing, talking to him very gently and explaining every step as we go, using a stern voice, speaking very softly "be nice to mommy." I have tried giving him toys which he then throws at my face. Tried getting him involved in the process of picking a diaper and pulling out wipes. I have put him in his crib and waited until he calms down and try again. Nothing is working!

 

From all this wrestling and struggling I have accidentally scratched him, I think little bruises have been left on his legs, Ive lost my temper and raised my voice. I feel sooo absolutely terribly horrible after all of this some times even in tears.

 

Thank you for reading this long post. Any of you moms been through this situation or have any advice? :(

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#2 of 11 Old 04-12-2012, 05:26 PM
 
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Yes, we just recently entered this face with 18 month old DD.  Although she's not what I would consider aggressive, (doesn't hit or bite or anything) she HATES having her diaper changed!  She'll throw everything on the floor, scream "no" and swat at me, tighten up her whole body and try to flip over.  She'll grab at the poopy diaper and try to throw it to the ground, the whole time saying, "up up up."  I feel like this is purely an independence issue, and I took it as an opportunity to start potty training.

 

So far so good, although we've only focused on pooping in the potty so far, she's gotten into it and asks multiple times a day to sit on the potty, even though she doesn't have to go.  Because she's in pull-up's (besides nap and bed time) it has drastically cut down on the amount of times I have to lay her down to change her.  What she loves about the pull-ups is that she can step into/out of them like a big girl, and that seems to have solved the majority of our problem.  So even though I'm not putting a HUGE focus on potty training -we've taken minor steps, she still is wearing a diaper more or less, and I don't have to deal with the changing freak outs.  I've also found that changing location sometimes helps, it throws her off.  The second I put her on the changing table she gets upset, but if I lay her down on the floor in her bedroom she doesn't put up as much of a fight.

 

Good luck, I know how hard it is!

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#3 of 11 Old 04-12-2012, 05:41 PM
 
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You just described my 19MO DS!!  Since he was 6MO he ALWAYS fought me on diaper changes.  At 15MO I threw in the towel and started PTing.  Now at 19MO He only wears a pullup at night and on errands(depending).  That has saved my sanity and back!

 

Don't worry about the screaming from your part.  We are human too and we have our limits.  It's not bad at all for your LO to see mommy lose her cool.  It's a learning process on both ends ALL the time.  Better let out then bottled in. GL!

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#4 of 11 Old 04-12-2012, 09:53 PM
 
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My DS is the same way, which is why he's naked if we're at home and why snap cloth diapers have saved us because I can change him while he's standing.

There are some new huggies that go on like pull-ups that they step into so you don't have to lay them down...maybe that would help?

We've also started EC\PT since he's naked anyway, with surprising progress so far (he's 16mo). That might be worth trying as well!
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#5 of 11 Old 04-12-2012, 09:59 PM
 
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Have you considered potty learning? It can be a great relief to walk away from diapers. And it can be a totally positive for a kid whole likes to be in control. We usually start at 18m and switch to higher end training pants with a PUL cover. Done by two. I think the "Diaper Free Before Three" which is old fashioned non-punitive scheduled potty learning works really well at this age. 

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#6 of 11 Old 04-13-2012, 06:38 PM
 
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Just have a sec & haven't read through the other replies.  My solution (and your kid sounds a whole lot like mine) is asking him all kinds of stupid questions.  "Do you have a dinosaur in your mouth?"  "Where is your nose?"  "Did we eat worms today?" 

 

It is infuriating when all you're trying to do is help your child stay clean and dry and healthy and they kick the crap out of you.  My 2 year old is also very big and very strong for his age and I honestly have been hurt when I have changed him.  The stupid talk is the only thing that has worked for us.  So weird.  Good luck.


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#7 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 04:37 AM
 
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Can you let him stand up while you change him? Give him that option? (It may not work with a poopy diaper, but for wet ones it works); that is what I did when my son didnt like to lay down for a diaper change .. I had him stand, with back towards me.


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#8 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 09:50 AM
 
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I have always taken that as a ready for potty time sign. We have been ECing since 5 or 6 months with two potty strikes. During potty strikes he is a dream to change but when he started being all arms and legs its back to the potty, and both times he has had a pretty smooth transition.

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#9 of 11 Old 04-15-2012, 02:45 PM
 
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Just adding another voice to support both trying EC and changing while standing. thumbsup.gif  You described my LO to a tee (strong kid, strong personality, strong reaction)!  Those two strategies are how we cope.  Narration/giving him time/heads up to make a successful transition is still a good thing to do for spirited kids (and, as my husband says, is really just plain respectful), whether it makes a huge difference or not.  Can you change him on the floor where he is playing, instead of on the changing table?  This helps me, too.  I have also been known to enlist the evil TV to distract him momentarily (on and then off again) during changes and potty time.

 

We've been doing EC since he turned 9 months (randomly tried him on potty that I bought for future use and he took to it like a fish to water!) and that has helped alot (fewer changes, for one thing, with less mess to throw around!).  I agree with the poster above about the correlation with potty strikes as well.

 

Finally, we recently found a silly song that he loves while we are changing him - he transforms into a completely different kid (Ol' Dan Tucker)! (but ONLY that ONE song - it's kinda weird, but I'm rollin' with it!)  Good luck!


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#10 of 11 Old 04-16-2012, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you every one for your support and Ideas! Love the silly questions and songs.....I tried but this dude wants nothing to do with that nonsense nut.gif lol. I am definitely going to start reading on how to start potty training. I have no Idea how to do this. I was thinking the opposite that he would be extremely hard to PT. But I totally get his independent nature being a sign of readiness, and that he may possibly catch on very fast.
 

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Originally Posted by brneyedmama View Post
 

I've also found that changing location sometimes helps, it throws her off.  The second I put her on the changing table she gets upset, but if I lay her down on the floor in her bedroom she doesn't put up as much of a fight.


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Originally Posted by pickle18 View Post

  Can you change him on the floor where he is playing, instead of on the changing table?  This helps me, too.  I have also been known to enlist the evil TV to distract him momentarily (on and then off again) during changes and potty time.


     Thank you brneyedmama! This whole week I have been putting a towel on the couch and changing him there......with some kinda of kid show on the TV nono.gif lol. I figure him watching TV for that few minutes is a lot healthier for both of us then the violent wrestling match's! It has worked like a charm!

 



 

Originally Posted by SunRise View Post

Can you let him stand up while you change him? Give him that option? (It may not work with a poopy diaper, but for wet ones it works); that is what I did when my son didnt like to lay down for a diaper change .. I had him stand, with back towards me.



Unfortunately I can not let him stand. I cant get him to stand in one place for more then....hmm 2 seconds. I just end up chasing his naked little but all over the house...and it ends with a naked wrestling match.

 

Thanks again to all! Gonna get the ball rolling ..... any one have any good reading suggestions on potty training?

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#11 of 11 Old 04-16-2012, 04:07 PM
 
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At his age, I really, really like Diaper Free Before 3. Slow and steady and gives the child a lot of control.

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