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#1 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a mother to a 14 month old and expecting my second in 7 weeks!  Hoping this is the right forum.  I figured my daughter is now officially a toddler now that she is walking.  I am new to this site and hoping to meet like-minded moms who can answer my questions.  I originally listened to my doctor's and friends' advice and really wish I had gone with my instincts.  I'm referring to CIO, schedules, etc.  I have been trying to do things differently (more of an AP style) .  Anyways, here are some of my questions:  I have NEVER been able to read her cues.  If I had been able to, things would have been much easier.  Is there a way to start being able to do this?  Is there even a way someone can give advice on this?  I know it sounds weird, but to me her cry is always the same (unless hurt) and I do my best to figure out what she wants, but it isn't easy.  I'm trying to teach her signs so we can communicate, but so far she only knows 'more'.  Is there a way to start potty training this young/old?  Also, I try to hold her a lot and keep her close, but she isn't very affectionate.  I'm assuming it is just her personality.  For now those are the questions I have.  Is this thread ok to put here or should I be looking elsewhere on the site? Thanks for any reply in advance.


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#2 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 02:59 PM
 
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Tummy to tummy time(in a carrier) works wonders for me when i start to feel disconnected, you don't have to cuddle or anything but being close makes you more aware.. Also down time to just pay attention to her. Just going with your gut feeling is what usually works for me. The more time you spend with only you and her, on the same level, doing what she wants to do, the more you will see her cues. At fourteen months you should be able to start asking simple questions. Are you hungry honey? Do you want___? The more you talk the more they will learn to communicate back. You can over do talking though. Words should be simple and short. If you give options your baby will learn how to choose what she needs with out having to use words. Also this was the age my son started needing time to adjust between activities.

 

I started putting my son on the potty at five or six months and he is doing great. I use the timing method, with my instincts as back up. You should check out the ECing forum.


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#3 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for the reply!!  Yes, I was going to check out the EC forum and even have a book that I plan to read about it.  As far as every day cues, I do much of what you suggested.  That is why I don't understand why it is/was so difficult for me.  It is much easier now that I can ask her questions but really wish I knew right off the bat instead of offering her 5 different things before I get it right.  :)  I am a stay at home mom and spend the majority of the time with her on the floor as she plays or does whatever.  Again, why I thought it would be much simpler for me.  Anyways, thanks for the response, it is really appreciated.


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#4 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 03:59 PM
 
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For baby #2 - I saw this really cool Oprah show that had a woman w/ a photographic ability for sound. She has DVDs for 6 word every baby uses. It could help you listen to your baby. Good luck.
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#5 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 07:01 PM
 
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I think that if you are having a hard time reading your daughter and your are about to have another baby then maybe you should hold off on the potty training.  I think it might be too stressful a time for both of you.

 

I would keep up signing.  It is really helpful all the way to two years old.  Have you gone to any Sing & Sign classes?

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#6 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 07:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mck211 View Post

Thank you so much for the reply!!  Yes, I was going to check out the EC forum and even have a book that I plan to read about it.  As far as every day cues, I do much of what you suggested.  That is why I don't understand why it is/was so difficult for me.  It is much easier now that I can ask her questions but really wish I knew right off the bat instead of offering her 5 different things before I get it right.  :)  I am a stay at home mom and spend the majority of the time with her on the floor as she plays or does whatever.  Again, why I thought it would be much simpler for me.  Anyways, thanks for the response, it is really appreciated.


I had a hard time with the crying thing too. it will get easier. my son is almost 19 mo now now and things are a breeze compared to a few months ago. He talks a lot now. Keep your head up.

 

I'm a stay/work at home mom. I do child care so it's usually me and him + 1 or 2 :)

 

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#7 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 08:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyFilled View Post

I think that if you are having a hard time reading your daughter and your are about to have another baby then maybe you should hold off on the potty training.  I think it might be too stressful a time for both of you.

 

I would keep up signing.  It is really helpful all the way to two years old.  Have you gone to any Sing & Sign classes?



Yep. My DS was a lot older (2.5) than your DD when my baby #2 arrived, but I also delayed PT. I was horrible/evil/exhausted pregnant, so I couldn't PT him then, and I couldn't do it with a new baby either. However - the fact that I used EC with baby #2 did seem to facilitate the PT process with my DS, because he also wanted to potty when DD was pottying. 

 

As for the crying, I never understood what my DS wanted when he was crying. I could never decode what he meant. With DD, I knew exactly why she was crying, the vast majority of the time. There was a nursing cry, an I'm tired cry, I'm bored cry, I'm wet cry, I'm too warm/cold cry. I don't know if she was a different baby, or if I'd changed as a mother... no idea. All I know is it was impossible with DC1 and easy with DC2. 

 

My DS also wasn't very affectionate, and my DD is, overwhelmingly so. Seems like a personality difference. However, my DS did become more affectionate around 3. He now likes cuddling and hugs and kisses, but still prefers his own space more than DD does.

 

 

If I could give one piece of advice to make parenting your second child as "easy" as possible... just follow your baby's cues. If your baby is tired, it's nap time (even if baby just naps in a wrap/sling & 14 m/o doesn't). If your baby is hungry, it's feed time. Schedule setting, sleep training, meal timing, etc etc etc will drive you right out of your mind - trying to make your baby comply with that and also accommodate the needs of your 14 m/o will drive you all nuts! 

 

 

For communicating with your 14 mo, use a lot of positive reinforcement. If you've given her a banana, and she's happy about it, talk it out with her. "You were hungry? Yes, I understand. Is that a good banana? Do you like bananas?" Statements that connect words with what she wants/needs. "Do you feel better now that you have a clean diaper?" etc, and also any signs that you have taught her to go along with these go a long way. My 14 m/o communicates pretty much entirely in words and signs, although she does occasionally cry when I'm not getting the message... but my DS was still a long ways off from full communication at that age. He was closer to 2 before we really "got" each other.  Good luck to you mama!

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#8 of 11 Old 04-14-2012, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm so happy to read your post!  It really helps me to feel better to know that someone else wasn't catching the cues.  It's also a relief to know how much better things went with your second child.  I wasn't planning on potty training her yet, was just curious about it since I'm about to read a book about EC.  I did stop the, what I felt, was a stringent schedule several months ago.  I began trying more to meet her needs than following what others said was better to do.  So, hopefully if I start from the beginning of trying to read cues with baby number 2 things will go smoother. 


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#9 of 11 Old 04-15-2012, 06:57 PM
 
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RE: Potty Training

 

Hip, Hip, Hooray! I potty trained my daughter is just ONE Day! No one is more suprised than me!

 

I am so happy, I could shout from the rooftop!  This is shocking considering potty training was quickly becoming a nightmare

for everyone in our entire house. This book is definitely geared towards a 2-3 year child, but it really works.

 

I saw a commercial on Nickelodeon promoting their potty party with the author, Teri Crane. The potty party bootcamp had tons of

great ideas I never heard before. I really liked her book too, Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secret of the Potty Pro.

 

Good luck,

Gwen

 

p.s. Here's the link to Nickelodoen if you're interested. http://www.parentsconnect.com/parenting-your-kids/toddler/potty-training/potty-training-tips.html

 

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#10 of 11 Old 04-16-2012, 06:07 PM
 
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 I had a hard time reading my daughter's cues in babyhood, too.  I feel like our whole life together changed when she learned the "bottle" sign and I no longer had to wonder if she wanted one.  Our communication has improved steadily from there.  Luckily she's very verbal, because non-verbal is just really really hard for me. 

 

I found Dr. Sears' Baby Book very helpful (and still do, actually).  It was a great book for being able to go with the flow, rather than trying to meet ridiculous expectations for how well the baby should eat, sleep, behave, or whatever.  I always feel after reading it like things are okay the way they are.  If you don't have this one already, I highly recommend it.

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#11 of 11 Old 04-17-2012, 04:06 AM
 
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I can't "read" baby cues either. It was funny with ds, as all baby books and websites say that "a mother knows", and I was thinking, what's wrong with me! But then I applied the principle: when in doubt, nurse! It works wonders. (except for poopy diapers lol)
 

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