DD Super clingy, driving me a little crazy! - Mothering Forums
Life with a Toddler > DD Super clingy, driving me a little crazy!
RStelle's Avatar RStelle 09:55 AM 04-23-2012

My dd is 13 months old and for the past month she's been going through a phase where she is very clingy and she's starting to drive me a little crazy. Basically she needs me to be right next to her at ALL times, literally if she is not physically right next to me she starts to cry and hurries over to cling to me. You would think the logical solution to this would be baby wearing, but then she gets all squirmy and bored unless we're going for a walk. She wants to be sitting on my lap while she plays or to be held at all times. She also wants me, not DP, she loves to have the three of us together and is always super happy when dp comes home from work, but then she still wants me to hold her, she often cries and pushes herself away from DP when I try to hand her off. I work 17 hours a week while DP stays home and while I'm gone DD is happy and fine, a little clingy with dp but not as much as with me, then when I come home she is even more needy, and as long as she knows I'm in the house she won't let DP hold her for more than a few minutes. I'm feeling like I can't get anything done & kind of over touched and like I'm seriously in need of some 'me' time, and DP is feeling kind of sad and also tired of having to do everything after she comes home from work while I just play with dd.

DD has always had a very laid back, chill & happy personality and she still does except for this. We are all about AP, but this is making me crazy! Should we just assume it's a phase and ride it out or are there steps we can take to make make this less intense?


Edit: I just realized there was another post about this and it made me feel a little better. Clearly this is normal! But I would still love it if anyone had ideas of how to lessen her separation anxiety.

neonalee's Avatar neonalee 09:40 PM 04-23-2012
We went through that too & it felt related to his molars coming in. In fact we are going through it again now at 20.5 months. Since he keeps saying hurts I think we are heading into second year molars now. I too am all touched out & ready to lose my mind.

Sent from my phone using Tapatalk 2, please ignore typos.
katelove's Avatar katelove 11:54 PM 04-23-2012
My LO went through this stage too. The only thing that worked for us was time. As she got see she was happier to let me go a little bit. It's hard while you're in the middle of it though!
bookwise's Avatar bookwise 02:26 PM 04-24-2012

oh i'm right there too now - baby girl just had her first birthday ten days ago or so and she's had a bunch of days now of being very clingy. it seems better today and i'm attributing that to tooth #8 finally popping out but she's still much clingier than she was a month ago. it's not super fun but of course there's something very sweet about it too, so i try to concentrate on that. ;) she's just so much more aware of everything so it makes sense she clings to mama more. 



justrose13's Avatar justrose13 07:01 AM 04-25-2012
we are totally there right now, I could have written your post, RStelle, almost word for word. only I stay home and DP works 40hrs. I've resigned myself to riding it out and getting out for a few hours by myself every week, even if it means he'll be extra clingy when I get home.
babesinthewoods's Avatar babesinthewoods 10:31 AM 04-25-2012

Us too. My son is 11.5 months, and getting molars. He was so clingy and fussy and only wanted to be held by me, and only wanted to be nursing that I actually took him to see the Dr just to make sure it wasn't his ears or something. She also attributed it to molars coming up and told me that it could be a month or so of this. There are times when I just can't pick him up because I am making supper or something, and he seems to be ok with just holding my hand sometimes. He cries a little bit, but then holds my hand for a few minutes, then goes off to play again. 

luckiest's Avatar luckiest 11:50 AM 04-25-2012

BTDT.  DS is 17 months now, and in a BIG TIME daddy phase.  If DH is around, DS wants nothing to do with me.  Actually, I guess he's in more of an "anyone but Mom" phase - he'll reach for a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or friend before me.  Will literally only reach for me if he wants to nurse.  If it weren't such a relief I might get my feelings hurt!


But then, if it's just the two of us, it's the same as what you're describing, except with holding my finger.  He will play with one hand and hold mine in the other, lead me around the house by my finger, and won't tolerate me trying to entertain myself on my phone or with a book, even if he doesn't want me directly interacting with him. 


Kids, man!

luckiest's Avatar luckiest 12:36 PM 04-25-2012


Oh, I forgot to mention my one and only tip for dealing with it - it helps DS a lot if I give a running commentary on what he's doing.  I think my voice offers some of the interaction and assurance that he's looking for by having me physically near him.  So if I desperately need to keep him occupied for a minute, I can just talk non-stop to him, giving a play-by-play of what he's doing, and it buys me some time.  Obviously it doesn't help if I need to do something on the phone or be out his sight, but it has helped me get laundry folded or get a sink full of dishes washed. HTH!

Tags: Toddlers