Cosleeping, nightweaning and other questions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-23-2012, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a cosleeping, breastfeeding 19 month old. Both of us enjoy cosleeping and BFing but my only problem is he wakes up as soon as I wake up in the morning. I would like to have some time for myself to get some chores done around the house and to exercise. It's not easy trying to exercise when you have a toddler who is underfoot. I'm considering night-weaning, transitioning him to his own bed or both. I'm not sure if I should do either or both to achieve my goal of being able to wake up without him waking up with me. He nurses about 3 times in the night now. Any advice from BTDT moms and how to go about doing both? TIA.

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#2 of 6 Old 04-23-2012, 01:42 PM
 
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My DS, now almost 21 mos, is now sleeping the night in his own bed and is night weaned (well, mostly to both.  If he is having a bad night and needs mama, then I will nurse or bring him to our bed).  This happened very gradually, over a period of 10 months total.  So, I guess I would just say to go gradually, maybe starting him off in his own bed and then moving him to your bed when he wakes in the night.  Then gradually keeping him in his own room longer and then weaning him from mamas milk, etc.  I doubt it has to take 10 mos, we just went very slowly.  I know some people have done the Jay Gordon method which is to nightwean first, over about 9 or 10 days then eventually move them to their own room.  I found it easier to do it the other way around.

 

Our reason for the gradual change is that DS was sleeping more and more poorly in our bed (tossing and turning, waking for extended periods) and so we all needed some rest.  He is now sleeping much better in his own bed.  If he does wake I still go in and comfort him, sing him back to sleep, offer him water, etc. and if he still wants mama nurse him or bring him to our room.  I would just note, however, given your reason for wanting the change that he may wake up at the same time as you (or earlier) anyway.  Our DS wakes up earlier than I'd like to wake up myself, so I buy myself extra time in bed with cuddles and mama milk in the morning.  So there are no guarantees that you'll get time to yourself by night weaning/moving DS to his own room.

 

Good luck though!


N, wife to my goofball K partners.gif and mamma to my EC grad D (July 2010) and my new little love S (May 2013).  Exploring the uncharted territory of tandem nursing with my two boys.

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#3 of 6 Old 04-23-2012, 01:53 PM
 
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My 28 month old DD sleeps in a mattress pressed up against ours (so I can move my blankets around and not disturb her). I nightweaned her in stages, starting at 16 months and ending in being fully nightweaned about 3 months ago (partly because we traveled alot and moved continents). But she adjusted to each stage pretty well and she still sleeps in the same room within arms reach so that I can tend to her if she wakes up at night without having to get up myself. (Even though she is night weaned, there are still bad nights when her molars come in, or night terrors, or when she is sick, etc).

 

I just began dropping on feeding a night. I thought taking mom away and the boob at the same time would be upsetting, so I offered water from a straw cup and snuggling and was surprised at how little crying was involved.

 

I've never tried to get up before her though since she is an early riser and I am not by nature. They do sleep much more lightly early in the morning. The few times I have gotten up are right after she finishes nursing early in the morning and then rolls over to sleep for another hour or so.


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#4 of 6 Old 04-23-2012, 06:42 PM
 
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We are 99.9% night weaned, but still having problems getting to sleep and waking too early, but I can tell you how we night weaned at least.

 

DD sleeps in a crib with the toddler rail on it, positioned up against our bed, side-car style.  I had trouble sleeping with her in the big bed with us once she started getting wiggly, so I've been putting her in her crib after she falls asleep nursing since she was maybe 4-6 months old.  She's about 27 months now.  However she was always too restless to transfer after about 5 am, so she would stay in our bed after that last feeding.  She night weaned at about 25 months.

 

I'd read that it was important for babies/toddlers to learn how to go to sleep without nursing in order for them to get themselves back to sleep on their own in the middle of the night without the breast, so we started with that.  She had been taking longer and longer to fall asleep nursing and my nipples were getting sore, so I started trying to get her to sleep without nursing partly for that reason too.  She was at a stage where she was really intrigued with counting, and was ready to learn some boundaries, and I'd read here on MDC an idea about counting to limit nursing time.  I introduced the idea during the day while I wasn't trying to get her to sleep.  I told her she could nurse for a while and then we were going to take a break while I counted to 50, and then she could nurse again.  She found that pretty nifty, so I was ready to try it that evening with a longer break.  I let her nurse until she was done actively swallowing, then said we're going to take a break while I count to 200 and then you can nurse again.  She protested just a little bit, near the end of the 200 seconds, but then I let her nurse and counted a second time, and she was asleep by the time I was done counting.  Eventually she was falling asleep with the first counting, and then I stopped counting and we would just nurse and then snuggle to sleep.  (Our bedtime routine has gotten pretty messed up since then, but that worked well for quite a while.)

 

So after she had been going to sleep without nursing for about 4-6 weeks, we tried a technique from the "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Preschoolers/dp/0071444912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335144614&sr=8-1  where you make up a little story that you read every night about the child doing what you want them to do in terms of sleeping.  So I took the script from the sleep book and adapted it a little to fit our situation.  I might as well copy and paste it for you:

 

It’s night time.  DD is in her crib.  DD wakes up and looks around.  She sees that it is dark.  She listens.  It is very quiet because everybody is sleeping.  DD stays in her crib.  She doesn’t need to nurse.  She finds her special sippy cup and takes a drink of water.  She pulls her covers up all the way under her chin.  It’s warm and cozy in her crib and she closes her eyes.  She keeps her eyes closed and pretty soon she is sleeping and dreaming about calves.  She knows that in the morning she can nurse again and snuggle with Mamma and Papa. 

After the first or second night she decided she didn't like it very much, so we started substituting different baby animals for her name, and that went over much better.  So the first night I told her that I wan't going to nurse her in the middle of the night anymore, and that she could nurse again in the morning, and then I read this story.  (at this point she was usually only nursing once or twice a night, by the way.)  When she woke up and wanted to nurse I told her that she could snuggle with Mama or sleep on Papa's chest, and that she could nurse again in the morning.  I always put it in the positive, that she COULD nurse again in the MORNING, rather than saying "no you can't nurse right now."  She didn't fuss much, and it only took two or three nights for her to start sleeping through the night pretty consistently.  She would wake up around 5 am maybe once or twice a week for a while, and would protest more at those times, but I didn't nurse her and she eventually stopped that too.  Right now she's consistently waking up about 15 to 30 minutes before our alarm, which is a royal PITA, especially because I think that she really could use more sleep.  I'm still trying to figure that one out.


Work at home, homesteading mom sharing child care 50/50 with my wonderful WAH DH. DD1 born Jan. 2010.   March '12.   DD2 & DD3 (twins) born Feb. 2013
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#5 of 6 Old 04-23-2012, 08:32 PM
 
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We are still cosleeping but DS is becoming such an active sleeper that will probably change soon. We night weaned using dr. Jay gordon method, but he still nurses to sleep frequently. If he doesn't it is because he nursed & didn't fall asleep, & he eventually falls asleep on his own, or crawls around talking until he passes out lol. Usually goes to bed around 830 & I wake him at 7. Except today he woke at 530 greensad.gif not sure if any of that is helpful but thought I'd share our experience.

Sent from my phone using Tapatalk 2, please ignore typos.

Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (15).
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#6 of 6 Old 04-24-2012, 08:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brambleberry View Post

 

So after she had been going to sleep without nursing for about 4-6 weeks, we tried a technique from the "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Preschoolers/dp/0071444912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335144614&sr=8-1  where you make up a little story that you read every night about the child doing what you want them to do in terms of sleeping.  So I took the script from the sleep book and adapted it a little to fit our situation.  I might as well copy and paste it for you:

 

It’s night time.  DD is in her crib.  DD wakes up and looks around.  She sees that it is dark.  She listens.  It is very quiet because everybody is sleeping.  DD stays in her crib.  She doesn’t need to nurse.  She finds her special sippy cup and takes a drink of water.  She pulls her covers up all the way under her chin.  It’s warm and cozy in her crib and she closes her eyes.  She keeps her eyes closed and pretty soon she is sleeping and dreaming about calves.  She knows that in the morning she can nurse again and snuggle with Mamma and Papa. 

I love this!  Even though DS is pretty good about going the night without mamma milk, I think I'll add this to our routine.  It might help him not need me to come to his room every time when he wakes at night, since he's in his own room now.

 


N, wife to my goofball K partners.gif and mamma to my EC grad D (July 2010) and my new little love S (May 2013).  Exploring the uncharted territory of tandem nursing with my two boys.

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