How long for toddler to adjust to new baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 05-03-2012, 12:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD is almost 3 and we have newborn twins.  I'm wondering how long this adjustment period will last with DD acting out and having meltdowns and blowups.  I need to know there is a light at the end of this tunnel.  For the most part she does OK, but is clearly sad that she is no longer the one and only.  She likes to help out, but gets upset when DH holds the babies or when I am nursing or pumping.  Tell me it gets better. . .greensad.gif


Me and DH, parents to:

DD1 (06/09), Twin DD2 and DS1 (born 3/12- 6 weeks early due to IUGR)

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#2 of 8 Old 05-03-2012, 06:33 PM
 
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Hi! Well, we did not have twins, but a singleton, when DS1 was 2.75. I would estimate that the h*ll period lasted about 3 months, and it was hard for about 6. Granted, DS1 was still nursing and nightwaking when DS2 was born, so that did not make it easy for us. But, I'm sure it is hard no matter what the specifics of the situation. It is so great that she loves to help out! Keep that up! It will get better! Now that DS is 4 he barely remembers life without DS2. So, at 18 months, completely and entirely adjusted. So yeah, I know, 3 months sounds like a long time, but as you know, these early weeks actually go by fast (long days, but short weeks!). Hang in there!!


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#3 of 8 Old 05-03-2012, 06:38 PM
 
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Several months. hug2.gif


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#4 of 8 Old 05-05-2012, 02:17 PM
 
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My boys (ages 3 and 19m) adjusted right away to my DD.  I wonder if it is because I emphasize that they are "my baby" as well? The cuddles and cooing and semi baby talk that we do to DD, we do to the boys.  Its silly and annoying, but they seem to need that extra reminder that they are loved as well.  Could your DD be needing some extra attention? I am sure with twins you are all maxed out, but its worth a shot. 

 

3 is such a hard age. 


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#5 of 8 Old 05-07-2012, 11:31 AM
 
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My boys (ages 3 and 19m) adjusted right away to my DD.  I wonder if it is because I emphasize that they are "my baby" as well? The cuddles and cooing and semi baby talk that we do to DD, we do to the boys.  Its silly and annoying, but they seem to need that extra reminder that they are loved as well.  Could your DD be needing some extra attention? I am sure with twins you are all maxed out, but its worth a shot. 

 

3 is such a hard age. 

 



But the real question is, how long did it take for your older child to adjust to your second? The transition from 2 to 3 is likely to be very different. By that time, they are used to sharing the attention, right?


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#6 of 8 Old 05-08-2012, 07:25 AM
 
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Used to sharing the attention yes, but it still doesn't mean that adding yet another child, is easier just because they have done it before. Some kids are more easy going and life is just going to go on, others are going to struggle regardless of what ever you do. When I had my fourth, my then 8 and almost 5 year old actually had a more difficult time then my 2 year old. 


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#7 of 8 Old 05-08-2012, 11:43 AM
 
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Interesting! Thanks for sharing this!
 


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#8 of 8 Old 05-08-2012, 12:12 PM
 
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But the real question is, how long did it take for your older child to adjust to your second? The transition from 2 to 3 is likely to be very different. By that time, they are used to sharing the attention, right?

My DS1 has a very easygoing personality, and he was still a baby when the second one came along (15months.)  He would look at DS2 and just kind of keep doing whatever he was doing.  That lasted for a couple days, and then he was happy about his "baaaybeee" =) 

 

I still think because we treated the bigger siblings as "babies" as well for a short time, it lessened any jealousy that might have developed. 


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