Need help with my daughter and crying around other children - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 05-05-2012, 08:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi,
I have two little girl's my oldest is going to be 19 month's on the 13th of may and my youngest is 7 month's. The problem is my oldest does not like my youngest, she wants nothing to do with her even after 7 month's she is the same with her.
The other problem is my oldest cry's when around other kids, if they get to close to her or if she hear's a loud noise ex.( other kid cry's) but I would think her having her little sister she would be used of it but she will cry if her little sister cry's to!
It is very stressful to take her anywhere, cause all she will do is cry.
Please help! redface.gif
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#2 of 9 Old 05-05-2012, 04:33 PM
 
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Per your older child, it could just be normal toddler development. Loud noise fear is common in development, and stranger anxiety is too. It pertains to adults and children, can even be family members. Both of these developmental phases are usually on their way out by three years of age.

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#3 of 9 Old 05-05-2012, 04:51 PM
 
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If it were just stranger induced, I would think possibly appropriate.  But having that reaction to her sibling as well, I would question where she is with her other developmental milestones.  Is she on track with everything else?  19 mos may be a little early to be sure what you're seeing, but we knew by 22 mos that something was "off" with DS, and started the evaluation process.  Does she point, does she talk, does she make eye contact, etc., etc., etc...?  This may be something to bring up with her pediatrician. 


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#4 of 9 Old 05-05-2012, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She is a very smart little girl, she was a early learner on almost everything,
Rolling over, crawling, walking.
She does talk just not a lot yet she say's
About a good 10 words maybe more!
Most of the time she is fine around adults, as long
As they let her come to them. redface.gif
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#5 of 9 Old 05-08-2012, 08:34 PM
 
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She could have ear problems and the noise physically hurts, so she cries. Just an idea.

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#6 of 9 Old 05-09-2012, 09:49 AM
 
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I think I would take her to the ped and mention this issue.  Off the top of my head I can think of a few things that could be going on - ear/hearing problems, social anxiety, ASD, or it could be nothing more than slightly more intense than usual stranger anxiety.  I obviously have no clue what is going on from such a short description, my point just being that it sounds like it is starting to interfere with your ability to function and that is when I think its time to get things checked out. 

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#7 of 9 Old 05-10-2012, 01:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was thinking , may have something to do her hearing but am not sure! I did tell my Dr. That she cry's if another kids cry's or a loud noise, and all she said was " well she can hear"
I was not to impressed with that answer!
Even if it is her hearing, okay then way does she still want nothing to do with her sister or other little ones? redface.gif
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#8 of 9 Old 05-13-2012, 10:50 AM
 
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My son is afraid of loud noises. It is a perfectly normal kid fear. I find that he is more at ease if I can SHOW him where the noise is coming from before it starts (vacuum, dishwasher, etc). I explain why the thing makes noise (in a simplistic way). After a loud noise episode, when he is calm and feels safe, we talk about what made the noise, that it is okay to be afraid, that he is safe, and imitate the noise in a fun way (the hair dryer goes VVRRRMMMM!). I never allow him to be alone in his fear, always comfort him as soon as he shows signs of fear, and make him feel safe. He is getting much better with loud noises now.

 

I would imagine the stranger thing is a normal stage. 


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#9 of 9 Old 05-20-2012, 10:40 PM
 
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Do some google searches for 'the highly sensitive child'.  There is also a book by the same name that I totally recommend you read.  My LO sounds similar to yours in some ways...pm me if you have questions.

Sounds like you may have an awesome sensitive (and possibly gifted) child on your hands, especially if she was really early in hitting her milestones  :)


Cloth diapering, Babywearing, Breastfeeding first time mama! Our bundle of joy was born June 15, 2010
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