Having a really 2-ish week :( - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-09-2012, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just need a space to vent about the awful week we're having.  I tried venting to DP, but he is absolutely incapable of comforting me when I'm frustrated and upset, so we ended up having an awkward argument instead of a cathartic chat.  Sigh. 

 

There are two main things that are making everything awful: 

 

1. DD is not sleeping, like, at all. 

I want to say that this is teething-related, but it seems like she's always teething, so I don't know.  She's gone from waking up 2-3 times a night to more like 5 or 6, and spending an hour or two in the middle of the night waking/sleeping/tossing/turning/crying as well.  She's in bed for 12 hours, but it seems like very little of that time is actually spent in peaceful sleep.  And even less of my time is spent that way.  Makes for a VERY grouchy mommy, and a very tired toddler.  Her daytime behavior has been terrible, and, while some of it is probably just normal, it's clearly exacerbated by fatigue.  And, OH!  She's not napping anymore either.  She'd been napping every other day or so for the past few months, but now I absolutely cannot get her to nap, and she's gotten really nasty about trying.  She used to at least be willing to try.  So I've been trying to institute some sort of quiet time, but I'm not sure what the best thing is to do.  I still want there to be the possibility that she might nap, but if she's not going to sleep, I want to make sure I get some rest time.  So...I'm torn.  And, oh, she is so exhausted in the afternoons. 

 

2.  It suddenly feels like everything is changing, so we're both totally out of our comfort zone. 

All of our routines suddenly feel outdated.  I feel like she's headbutting me all day, which is a new stage for her.  It feels like there are no pleasant moments in the day anymore.  I think that's the worst part of it all.  We recently dropped our middle of the night bottle, and now, with her not napping, I'm not giving her her mid-day bottle or lying with her to help her fall asleep.  I miss our sweet snuggles, and the time when she's just be quiet and let me stroke her and sing to her.  She doesn't go to sleep that way at night, so naptime was really special and close. 

 

Anyway, it's nothing in particular, but just a confluence of factors making everything feel hard right now, and overall I just want to cry.  Any general advice about 2-year-olds, naps, emotionally illiterate partners...?  I'd appreciate the help. 

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Old 05-11-2012, 04:27 PM
 
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I feel your pain!  I have a 2 year old and a 10month old and when I read your post I just had to write my experience and hope it may help you in some way.

 

My son is 27 months and about the time his sister was born he went through exactly what you are describing except he still slept at night.  We thought it was because of the new arrival but I guess all kids go through this stage sooner or later!  

 

It seemed like it happened overnight but I found my baby boy was no longer a baby.  I had been enforcing an out dated baby routine on a toddler which was never going to work.  It was time for a rethink and a new routine.

 

First thing I did was to not fight with him about napping.  If he didn't have his 1 hour nap then we put him to bed an hour earlier which was about 6.30pm for us.  I also implemented a quiet time which was either reading or going out for a walk in the buggy.  This was usually about 2.30pm and the baby would always sleep and sometimes DS would too but rarely! We still kept his bedtime routine the same (bath, story, bed) he dropped taking bottles too at this time but luckily for us he still slept through.  Sounds like your DD may be over tierd  so if she isn't napping try putting her down early with a consistent bedtime routine and see if that works.  Always get up at the same time in the morning too. 

 

Next we made sure that our son had enough physical and mental stimulation.  Gone are the baby toys and in are the alphabet and number learning kits.  He also loves his flashcards and learning his colours through painting etc.  Mix it up and have an activity every day.  We have ours every morning about 10ish and today we made a birthday card for his auntie :D  You didn't mention if you do this but try to if you don't.  We noticed a massive difference in our son who had clearly been frustrated at us because we were still treating him like a baby.

 

Make sure she is getting enough fluids if she has dropped her bottles.  Try giving her a cup of milk instead.  Also it is possible she may be teething as her molars are due to come through and she will be in pain.  This could explain why she isn't sleeping.  Have you tried giving her pain killers?  Just asking because you didn't say :D

 

I am sorry that your partner isn't supportive!  Some guys just really don't understand how difficult it is!  Guess that's what we are here for :)  Just remember that it is a phase and it will get better!

 

Hope this helps,

 

Anna 

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Old 05-11-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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I feel your pain!  I have a 2 year old and a 10month old and when I read your post I just had to write my experience and hope it may help you in some way.

 

My son is 27 months and about the time his sister was born he went through exactly what you are describing except he still slept at night.  We thought it was because of the new arrival but I guess all kids go through this stage sooner or later!  

 

It seemed like it happened overnight but I found my baby boy was no longer a baby.  I had been enforcing an out dated baby routine on a toddler which was never going to work.  It was time for a rethink and a new routine.

 

First thing I did was to not fight with him about napping.  If he didn't have his 1 hour nap then we put him to bed an hour earlier which was about 6.30pm for us.  I also implemented a quiet time which was either reading or going out for a walk in the buggy.  This was usually about 2.30pm and the baby would always sleep and sometimes DS would too but rarely! We still kept his bedtime routine the same (bath, story, bed) he dropped taking bottles too at this time but luckily for us he still slept through.  Sounds like your DD may be over tierd  so if she isn't napping try putting her down early with a consistent bedtime routine and see if that works.  Always get up at the same time in the morning too. 

 

Next we made sure that our son had enough physical and mental stimulation.  Gone are the baby toys and in are the alphabet and number learning kits.  He also loves his flashcards and learning his colours through painting etc.  Mix it up and have an activity every day.  We have ours every morning about 10ish and today we made a birthday card for his auntie :D  You didn't mention if you do this but try to if you don't.  We noticed a massive difference in our son who had clearly been frustrated at us because we were still treating him like a baby.

 

Make sure she is getting enough fluids if she has dropped her bottles.  Try giving her a cup of milk instead.  Also it is possible she may be teething as her molars are due to come through and she will be in pain.  This could explain why she isn't sleeping.  Have you tried giving her pain killers?  Just asking because you didn't say :D

 

I am sorry that your partner isn't supportive!  Some guys just really don't understand how difficult it is!  Guess that's what we are here for :)  Just remember that it is a phase and it will get better!

 

Hope this helps,

 

Anna 

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Old 05-12-2012, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It helps tremendously, thank you.  I'm actually pretty surprised at how very similar your experience was to ours!  It's definitely reassuring.  I don't do a daily activity with her, but I've been thinking that we should do something like that more often, particularly since I am AWFUL at playing.  Especially without the quiet time snuggling with bottles, I want start setting aside more times that are just for me and her to be close, so an activity would be a good idea. 

 

The night-time sleep....well, it's just a disaster.  She's always been a poor sleeper, has never had a night with less than 2 wake-ups, and she is also the slowest teether on the PLANET, so I feel like it's hard to know when she's actually teething.  She's on the brink of cutting her canines, with one through, and three that are very close.  There's no sign of those molar, so we still have a loooong road ahead.  I have been giving her some pain-killers at bedtime, but they don't seem to be helping her sleep that much, unfortunately.  And, you're right, being overtired doesn't help her night-time sleep one bit.  We do follow a consistent bedtime routine, and she's in bed by 6:30 on no-nap days, but...she just doesn't sleep well enough at night, AND has started waking up earlier than normal to boot.  Sigh. 

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