|View Poll Results: Should I go to a "no children allowed" wedding?|
|Go and leave your child in "the upstairs room", taking turns with your spouse watching him||7||14.29%|
|Go and leave your child at home||24||48.98%|
|Voters: 49. You may not vote on this poll|
Generally, I find weddings to be ridiculously over formalized affairs, with old traditions/language that is archaic now. For example, while it is true that if the invitation is only addressed to the couple, then the kids aren't invited, where else do we really recognize this tradition? Unless you are super upper class and attend many black tie events, how would you really know? While it is true that to follow the traditional rules of etiquette, older kids should be invited separately, they should also be addressed as 'master blah blah', right. Weird language by our standards.
I was married very young, and followed most etiquette rules. However, if we had been married now, it would be very different. BUT, it isn't about how you or I would do it!
Agree with the 'her wedding, her rules' sentiment. However, we would not attend. DH and I define family differently than the rest of our biological family, and we avoid many activities because they don't jive with our values, or are just to difficult with our family, and we include many very close friends when we talk about family, which bugs the bio-family. Conflicts like this are pretty natural when we don't actually share values with family.
However, IF I were planning a super formal event, with a family not accustomed to super formal events, I would expect that I would need to be explicit about my expectations. Putting it in small print on a website isn't exactly Martha Stewart approved.
although I personally may (and have) chosen to leave the kids at home esp if it's a super fancy black tie wedding or some other theme I feel would be better suited for it.. if children are explicitly NOT invite. I don't go. Period. Besides the fact that it feels extremely rude, it also assumes I have childcare which frequently I do not.
I wouldn't attend either.
Ak Hippie mama Yamia DSD '03 DS '07 DS2 '09 & DS3 '12
OMG - i just got an invitation to my cousins wedding - not out of state - but close! and the invitation reads " adult only reception to follow'
check ..."Not Attending"
Happy at Home Mama to DD 4/95 DS 4/98 and DS#2 8/10
I think the couple should get the wedding they want to have. If that means not having to hear young kids screaming during the ceremony and not having to tone down the reception to accommodate small ears then that is what they should get. I would be inclined to go because it is child free and that is something that I rarely get, I work with kids and I go home and am a mother and that is nice 99% of the time but I am happy to have that 1% when it is just adults so I can relax completely.
I think you should do what you feel is best for you and your family. Personally I wouldn't be at all offended and I think you need to make the decision about your comfort level not about them being wrong (because I really don't think they are).
Yep, and sometimes that means that they wont have all their family and loved ones there. i guess you have to choose your priorities
Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012) Married to awesome SAH DH.