Terrible terrible guilt and baffled too. Toddler shoes. Please read ..a reminder lesson for most of us - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 05-23-2012, 09:03 PM - Thread Starter
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My DD is 3 yrs old and we live near Seattle. Which means summer hasn't started yet and she has been wearing her winter shoes most of the time uptil now.


Since past 2 months she has been getting up in the middle of the night every 3-6 days and complaining that her feet hurt (sometimes it is the ankle too..and alternates between legs) We took her to the Children's hospital where the ped/Chiro saw her and declared that she was going through growing pains and to rub her gently and give her ibuprofen if it gets really bad. But we massage her feet gently with baby Vicks or recently Arnica gel and very recently brought her some Calms Forte from Boiron/Hylands.


Anyway she has always had very slow growing feet (she has allergies and is also kinda tiny and small-boned too..narrow feet too. The shoe salespeople always comment about that).


Anyway ..she was in shoe size 7 in winter boots and today we went to Stride Rite and got her feet measured. SIZE 8. How could she have suddenly grown her foot size an inch in six months... and the salesperson recommended 8.5 size shoes for her.


I feel so so horrible ...so very horrible. I never realized we were making her wear 1.5 sizes too small of a shoe (to be fair we never ever had to squeeze her foot in. Her ankle is narrow and she seems to fit in her old shoes comfortably).


But now we are thinking that all those nights of growing pains were maybe too tight shoes (started 2 months back). She must have had a massive foot growth spurt, bawling.gif and we never realized. 


Question - do you think we did some permanent damage here? Should we take her to chiros for adjustments? Am so depressed! Their feet are still forming and growing right? So mostly cartilage? brokenheart.gif She never complained about tight shoes (she is very verbal)...


We should have known better!

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#2 of 21 Old 05-23-2012, 10:34 PM
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hug2.gif  She will survive. I do not think you incurred permanent damage but getting her checked out might put your mind to rest.  

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#3 of 21 Old 05-23-2012, 10:37 PM
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I have hammer toes on one foot from going through a growth spurt and not being able to get new figure skates for several weeks after they were needed.  But I was 11 or so at the time, and those were very thick, stiff leather skates.  And I think I lost a toenail...man, I must have really loved to skate?  The point being that it took some seriously small and confining shoes and it was obvious that I was in pain at the time.  My feet are fine, though, other than my toes looking a bit bent.


Like you said, it seems like if she were complaining about it at night, she would have been able to complain about her shoes hurting her during the day.  If you're worried, I'd have it checked out of course, but maybe it really was just the growth pains.


If it makes you feel better, I think I keep my son in his shoes for too long...the next size up always seems way too big!

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#4 of 21 Old 05-23-2012, 11:52 PM
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((hugs)) Mama

Everything will be fine. I've experienced the crazy growth spurt and have found myself buying shoes two months after just having purchased a pair of shoes. 6yo dd has been eating like a horse the past several months, I know a spurt is coming annnyyy second. I just know I'm going to buy her a bunch of summer clothes just to find that she's grown and I have to buy her all new clothes.

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#5 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 12:17 AM
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It could be growing pains, if she was complaining in the middle of the night, rather than when you put the boots on or take them off.  Even though the boots are a size 7, not every size 7 is the same, so she might have been OK, or maybe it just got bad after she wore the boots for awhile.  

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#6 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 08:13 AM
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One of my DD's went up 4 whole sizes in one year at this age. It was crazy! I tend to be paranoid about shoes being too small and then end up buying big. I doubt there is permanent issues at this age. 

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#7 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 08:31 AM - Thread Starter
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I was thinking more about this (obviously) yesterday and she grew almost 1.5 inches in 6 months headscratch.gif


When we bought her those winter boots  6-7 months back at size 7 she was around 6.5 actually and we always buy shoes a little bigger.Yesterday her feet measured at 8 inches so actually 1.5 inches.


When we took her to the podiatrist/chiro at Childrens' 1.5 months back he checked her feet and alignment and everything very thoroughly and found nothing wrong... but yes another check is due.


Earlier she used to complain that her feet hurt only in the night but in the past week -twice in the morning- she complained that she 'stubbed her toe' and I had to rub/massage her feet/toes. As far as I could tell she hadn't stubbed her toe and this baffled us - which is when we first started thinking if her shoes had gotten tight. Since summer is almost upon us and she was due for new pairs of shoes we went to the store -- thinking she must have had a 0.5 inch growth.......


ETA: ..and yes she never once complained right after we wore her shoes or took them off that her feet hurt..which is why we never connected the two. After her podiatrist confirmed them as 'growing pains' we weren't even thinking any other thing (If I didn't have a confirmed diagnosis maybe I would have raked my brain more) and earlier they were always in the middle of the night and happened a total of 5 times in the last 2 months (I checked my diary.. which the podiatrist said would be helpful to keep)

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#8 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 09:51 AM
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I had never before heard of children's shoe sizes being the same as the number of inches their feet measure so I looked it up. This is a link that shows the typical foot size correlated with the shoe size: http://reviews.ebay.com/Childrens-Shoe-Sizing?ugid=10000000000911087. So don't worry so much - she didn't grow 1" or 1.5" in a couple months and her shoes were not as small on her as you probably imagine.

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#9 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 05:17 PM
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I find a HUGE descrepency in kids shoe sizes even in the same brand.  My dd has two pairs of sneakers by the same make.  One is almost too small, one way to big.  Huh?


Shoe sizes for toddlers are hard to keep up with.  It sounds from her complaints (and their disappearance with the right shoes) that her boots were indeed too small.


Momma, lots of us have done this.  She will be just fine.  If you're still worried, go to another podiatrist to see if therapy is needed or anything.


Mostly I'd just be glad you found the source of her pain, it was fixable, and it's over.  She will be fine.


You won't make this mistake again.  And it's something anyone can do, and a lot of us do. 


I am sure your dd is lucky to have you as a momma.  Let yourself be at peace.

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#10 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 05:24 PM
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I know for a fact that my daughter tells me her shoes feel fine even when her toes are curled up inside and her foot puffs out the top.  She just...gets really attached to her shoes.  We're due for a size check, too.  Thanks for the reminder!

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#11 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 05:44 PM
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You sound really distraught over this, and I'm so sorry you're feeling guilty, but I really, really think you need to give yourself a break. Maybe I swing too far in the other direction, but, kids grow. They grow quickly. Typically, when you buy new shoes, you buy them in the next size up. Unless you are a billionaire or something and can afford to buy your kid new shoes every two weeks. Now, if my child had grown two or three sizes, then I would feel badly. This was just a standard kid growth into the next size thing. Don't worry too much! 

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#12 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 06:19 PM
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my kids all got attached to favorite shoes (always boots!) and would wear them waaaay after outgrowing them. this will not hurt your daughter!


feel better :)

drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#13 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 06:52 PM
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oh gosh, the same thing happened to me...and it wasn't the brand because I bought the exact same sneakers, just 1.5 sizes up!  Kids have growth spurts, it is just how they are made.  I felt bad, but like you it wasn't like I was jamming her feet into the sneakers any more than usual- It is hard to tell on a wiggly toddler when getting their shoes on is not the easiest thing in the world to begin with!  It sounds like you have been giving her feet lots of attention, so I seriously doubt you did any damage.  Dd was just fine and certainly hasn't had any issues from wearing too tight shoes for a little while.  Try not to worry too much!

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#14 of 21 Old 05-24-2012, 08:46 PM
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shoe sizes vary by brand.  I would also say winter boots tend to run big---except for ONE pair I've had for my boys that were really narrow/small.  I doubt they were even really too small if they went on fine!  I'm sure she's OK....and it could be growing pains.  *hugs*

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#15 of 21 Old 05-25-2012, 05:08 AM
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This will also happen when she's a teen. There will be no permanent damage. Both my teen boys have surprised me with 2 size growths with no complaints. Shoes do stretch a bit with wear.
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#16 of 21 Old 05-25-2012, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you all. We are in the wait and watch mode and will see if her morning "I stubbed my toe" complaints have gone away. Else we will take her to a podiatrist. 


Womenswisdom.. the link http://reviews.ebay.com/Childrens-Shoe-Sizing?ugid=10000000000911087  was a revelation. So if she grew from size 6.5 to size 8 then it means her feet grew about 0.5 inches . That seems more like it because her feet certainly don't look like they grew 1.5 inches.


It is just the way the feet measuring thingy at shoe stores is designed. When my DD puts her foot in it.. I think the salesperson just says.. she is size 8 (and we think ... 8 inches)

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#17 of 21 Old 05-29-2012, 12:54 PM
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I don't think you should be terribly concerned. Shoe salespeople measure shoes with growth. Of course she needs the next size up, plus some extra room for growth. And of course the old shoes where getting small. The whole history of foot growth is a foot growing and being in an almost two small shoe and then switching to a shoe that is a little bit too big.


And sizes and brands vary a lot. If you had gone and there was a three size difference in the same brand then you would have cause to worry that they were tight.

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#18 of 21 Old 05-29-2012, 04:19 PM
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My 5.5 year old recently went up a size and a half - I knew her old dress shoes were getting too small, but she never complained. Went to get new ones, and NO WONDER they seemed too small! LOL!


If my very articulate 5.5 yo didn't have the words to say her shoes were too small, I don't think there's any way a 3 year old would have been able. So don't beat yourself up... 


I think the feet can be forced to grow less quickly only when tightly bound all hours of the day and night. Pretty sure no damage has been done in your situation!

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#19 of 21 Old 05-29-2012, 04:40 PM
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I am actually guilty of doing this. My 18 mo had started protesting wearing shoes and I attributed it to toddler's new found sense of self. I became firm and forced that kid into shoes for quite many days, until we went to buy new shoes. He was one size up and poor guy had no way of telling me:(
And he has huge feet, at 2 yrs, he is soon to outgrow 9.5 xw striteride eyesroll.gif

I think you didn't do any permanent harm but do get any check up done you feel like to put you at peace:o

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#20 of 21 Old 05-30-2012, 07:21 AM
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OH I have to reply to this :)  A friend told me her story about toddler shoes and I have to relay it to you all.  She bought her three year old boy a pair of shoes and forgot to take out the paper ball that was stuffed in the toe of the shoes.  Her son only complained his feet hurt after he had walked alot.  Several weeks went by and he was still wearing the shoes with the paper balls in them.  When she finally figured out what was going on she felt incredible guilt.  Her son is now 30 or 40 something, over six feet tall and he was the creator of the CyberKnife, which treats cancer.  Http://www.cyberknife.com  I would say he turned out just fine considering his short shoe bout LOL.  

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#21 of 21 Old 05-31-2012, 07:32 PM
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This can go the other way too Sheepish.gif


I was worried that my DS is growing so fast and got him rain boots that turned out to be a whole size too big. Poor guy ended up tripping over his boots for a week before I realized!

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