Which lately seems to be my only option and it doesn't even work sometimes. I can't even get her in it long enough to get it properly fitted which might help her comfort level. Ideas? I totally just had to cancel my trip to the farmers market because I could not get her in the bike trailer without restraining her to the point that I was afraid I was going to hurt her(she is VERY strong). She knew we were going. She was excited to be going. She put on her helmet and everything. It was not a transition issue. She just would.not.go.
By the way, this is somewhat new behavior although a wee bit longer than a typical "phase" so far.
I must admit I use food to get my 26 month old to do things regularly. I try to get the healthiest kind of "cookie" I can find or some things that I don't actually mind giving him (organic whole grain breakfast bars for example) - and I do say, let's go into the car and I will give you a cookie- I don't see it as too much of a problem yet. I don't give him more than I am actually comofrtable, but I have no energy to fight him on every transition- so I just make it easier on myslef and give him chips or a healthy snack that he likes- I guess I feel at this age it is okay, and it keeps our day running smoothly-
do you feel that the bribing thing is a problem for you- is that why you are looking for alternatives? I feel like there are plenty of years to move away from that but at 2 they are still so in the moment that I may as well make it easy on me and my kid, make it fun.
It doesn't feel like a behavioral problem and the alternative I could see would be me wrestling him into the car seat while he resists- no thanks! so in other works I don't see it as a problem.
what about it makes you uncomfortable?
I don't have issues with bribing in a general sense. It can work in some situations. My issue is that it doesn't always work with DD. Also, with my son, we fell into the bribing trap with potty training somehow and it took ages to break it. It set up a power dynamic with him that just wasn't productive for any of us. Safety issues are hard. I think bribing a kid who doesn't get the safety issues, overall, not a biggie in the scheme of things. BUT, I don't want it to be around for a couple of years/create an icky dynamic AND I want something that is generally going to be more effective. Distraction can work more than not, but this too is unpredictable. I guess I'm just looking for fresh ideas.
yeah that totally makes sense! I hope you find some good ideas here- I don't have any- :) but I am sure others do.
The counting to 3 thing has worked really well for us with the car seat, so maybe it would work with the bike seat.
DS is a limits tester, so I have to be super consistent about this.
If he's jumping around, not sitting in his seat right away, I say "I'm going to count to 3, and on 3 I will put you in your seat." Then I use a loud, authoritative voice and say "one". I pause, and if he starts moving in the right direction I stop counting. If he keeps playing, then it's "two." If I get to "three" then I pick him up, fold his body and put him in the seat. It works for other things, too, but I try not to over-use it. After almost a year of using this (DS is 2 and 8 months now), I only get to "three" about 5% of the time. Mostly he hops to it on "one."
It's not a punishment. It's just a "you have time to decide to do it on your own, and after that I will do it for you." Their drive to be independent makes them want to do it themselves.
I don't let him eat in the car, so giving food to get in the seat wouldn't work for us.
You could also do a lot of talking about "that's so sad that we couldn't go to the farmer's market because you weren't ready to sit in the bike seat."
Finally, maybe she could look at a book or play with a special toy while you adjust the straps? Something to distract but not get in the way too much. (And something that wouldn't injure in a crash if it stays in there with her.)
I use rewards and distractions a lot. But I rarely phrase things "If you do XYZ then you'll get ABC." Instead I simply say, after you do XYZ then ABC happens. For example, "After we get you strapped into the seat then you can watch Elmo on the DVD player" or "After we ride to the farmers market then we can look at the butterflies."
If I were you I think I would try to have some special, favorite toy that "lives" in the bike trailer. Take her to the store and let her pick out a new special toy and explain that this is the new bike trailer toy that she can play with when she's in the bike trailer. Worth a try, right?
I'm with you on limiting rewards and stuff, but sometimes its an option that fits the stage a toddler is in. It can totally be a temporary thing.
Around 18mo, DS resisted getting into the carseat. I ended up offering one M&M. Just one. 90% of the time it worked. After a month or so, the need to bribe, so to speak, faded out and he would just get in on his own again. So odd.
anyway, I wouldn't worry about it becoming a habit.