3 year old biting again after a year - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 05-29-2012, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
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sorry if this was already addressed somewhere else on here; couldn't find anything.

Anyway, my DD has started biting again in the past 2 weeks. She hasn't bitten anyone in at least a year! The first time she bit me on the thumb. I was on the phone & she wanted attention. This happened again where I was busy & she wanted attention (she also likes to pull my hair really hard sometimes to get my attention). Then, today & 2 days before, she bit her 3 year old friend. I felt so badly.


Today I pulled her out of the water where they were swimming, made her take her swimsuit off & didn't allow her back in the water. I would've left the beach, but my friend has PPD & I didn't want to leave her alone w/a newborn & toddler. My friend told me she felt upset watching her daughter get bitten (I understand, her daughter used to bite mine a lot.) I eventually had to leave to go somewhere.


Has this happened to anyone else? There's been throwing of the toys, screaming, pouting, and other such shenanigans to express her frustration. I guess I thought once the biting "phase" was over, then that was it & didn't worry about a return. Thanks for any help. :)

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#2 of 3 Old 05-29-2012, 05:54 PM
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We had it briefly return at age 3 as well. DD2 tends to only bite when super tired and frustrated. She only bites her sister, mostly because that's who's around ad that's who is frustrating her.


We seem to have kicked it by talking her through how bad it feels to GET bitten, that we don't want to hurt any one else, etc. Both right after it happens and the next day. She also knows if she bites someone, she has to stop playing.


Recently, she's tried hitting me when frustrated, and I've seen her hit her sister as well. Again, it's when she's tired or hungry and frustrated. I explained that hitting people is never OK, but she can hit a pillow if she needs to. She thought that was pretty funny, but seems to be giving it a go. I saw her rear back that fist to wallop her sister, but instead she brought it down on the bed, which was a FAR more pleasant experience for all of us! In fact, DD1 thought it looked like fun and they spent a couple minutes beating up their pillows and giggling their heads off.


With your DD, since it seems to be when she needs your attention, I'd give her a super-cool code word, like "Asparagus"  that she can say when she really, REALLY needs your attention at that moment. Sometimes you just have to put the other person on hold for a moment, hear what she has to say, and then go back to your call. Tell she can only say "Asparagus" 2 times a day, though, so she doesn't over-use it. Maybe that will help her feel like she has some power?

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#3 of 3 Old 06-05-2012, 05:22 AM - Thread Starter
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i like your suggestions & tried to implement some. last time we were heading over to her friend's, we talked about biting & she said she shouldn't do it because it hurts & makes her friend sad - without my prompting the specifics in her answer. i think she's getting it. she hasn't bit her friend since, only once she bit me a little b/c she was tired.


i tried having her use "pineapple" for the code word, but she just ended up asking to eat some. :) we'll figure it out. thanks!

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