How to teach "personal space"? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-12-2012, 06:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD1 is 32 m/o and a huge extrovert which is great but she gets really excited around other kids and "attacks" them with hugs. *I* think it's wonderful but other parents don't...and the other kids usually don't either (especially if the other kid is an introvert). She is just so full of love she can't contain it.

 

Is there away to teach her people want space (without hurting her feelings)?

 

She is very verbal but words don't seem too affective with this...


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Old 06-12-2012, 08:12 AM
 
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Hi Sosu!

 

What I've come to over the last 7 years of dealing with this, is that it isn't okay to touch someone without their consent.  Even if you are being gentle.  Even if they are another kid.  Even if you are cute. 

 

So, I've taught my kids to ask before hugging, "Would you like a hug?", etc.  For my kids who have been mauled by other extrovert love, and especially when the other parent's pleas of gentle and nice touch and kind and all that weren't getting anywhere, I started taking a more aggressive tactic. 

 

I would get down at eye level with the other kid and say, "You may not touch her." 

 

And the other little one would get this "oh!" expression, and my kid would be safe for the rest of the time. 

 

YMMV :)


"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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Old 06-12-2012, 02:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi!. OK so I did keep telling her she couldn't touch her and her friend needed space.ITA no one should be touched without consent! I just don't know how to get it through to her.

 

She is obviously very impulsive and the age doesn't help! I DO mirror the space thing to her, like if I'm tickling her and she says "No no!" (in a playful way) I stop and I tell DH to do the same (even when we know she is joking).


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Old 06-13-2012, 10:28 AM
 
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I've always said to DD that "I need space, please." And when I saw her making a kid uncomfortable I'd say "Give him space, please."

 

The tickling without consent is a big concern in my family. No one touches without consent, unless it is a safety issue. Respecting a child's space and giving them the words to set limits will teach them to do it on their own.
 


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Old 06-14-2012, 07:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovepickles View Post

I've always said to DD that "I need space, please." And when I saw her making a kid uncomfortable I'd say "Give him space, please."

 

The tickling without consent is a big concern in my family. No one touches without consent, unless it is a safety issue. Respecting a child's space and giving them the words to set limits will teach them to do it on their own.
 

Well that is the hope LOL


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