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#1 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What is the most used term for a vagina for a 3 yr old. Recently my daughter got potty-trained and I am struggling to use words to ask her to clean her 'Vagina'. I don't want to use the V word.. sounds too heavy. For her back I use 'tushie' and I am comfortable with it. I sometimes use 'buns' or even 'buttocks' and I am fine with all of those.

 

Just am stumped with the vag name :( 

 

Please help. Don't want to use the P-word!

 

 

ETA: Just to clarify. She knows it is her vagina. Not looking for something cute. I want to alternate that usage with another ..less heavy-handed is all. For some reason am feeling very school-marmish asking her to 'Please clean her vagina"....is all.

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#2 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 08:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok a small observation:

 

I went and searched for some threads and something interesting caught my eye (almost like a common thread).

 

Some people have responded with - "We call them Vagina and Vulva. Don't want to use cutesy names. We call the backside 'Butt, bottom..tush' etc."

 

Well.. seemed a bit ..err..how do I put this.. let's go with odd.. odd to me :)

 

I am not into confusing her or ashamed of the words. Just something softer for my wee girl is all.

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#3 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 08:42 AM
 
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I use the word vulva.  When they are learning about wiping from the potty, I might just say "Wipe yourself."  or "Time to wipe."

 

I am one of those people who don't use vagina when that's not what I mean.

 

I supposed I'd use "bottom" too for a very young child.


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#4 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 09:17 AM
 
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This topic is of interest to me. I have a son, and we just call his penis "wee wee"...without having made a decision to do so ~just happened. I know some people think this infers shame, but to me it is just age-appropriate. By the same token, we call his backside his "bum-bum", and one could just as well say that is shaming and we should call it by its proper name: anus. Uh, I don't think so. When he is older we will say penis, but for now it's his wee wee. IMO shame is inferred in so many other ways and a healthy sexuality is picked up from the parents' general attitude...not just through words.

 

Anyway the other day he asked about my wee wee and I told him that girls don't have wee wees...but then I was stumped what to say. I also felt like vagina or vulva was too serious (plus a two year old needs only one word ~differentiating would be too confusing...just as I don't at this point use the term scrotum or testicles). So we are also needing an age-appropriate word for girly bits....
 


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#5 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 09:31 AM
 
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Vulva or labia is best. The vagina is the inside part that no one sees.

Always, always use the proper words with your kids. make sure they can name their parts with no shame!
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#6 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 09:34 AM
 
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I guess I don't see the word "vulva" as heavy.


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#7 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 09:41 AM
 
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yeah- we say vulva with dd.  she doesn't really understand what a vagina is.  we do also say a baby is in a mommy's uterus. 

she also will say rectum and anus, though only occasionally. she likes to say butt and butth*le.  redface.gif she thinks those words are somehow inherently funny.

learning correct anatomical terms is important to me, though.  fwiw, we found that vulva is pretty easy to learn to say, it was an early part of her vocab.

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#8 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 09:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by P.J. View Post

This topic is of interest to me. I have a son, and we just call his penis "wee wee"...without having made a decision to do so ~just happened. I know some people think this infers shame, but to me it is just age-appropriate. By the same token, we call his backside his "bum-bum", and one could just as well say that is shaming and we should call it by its proper name: anus. Uh, I don't think so. When he is older we will say penis, but for now it's his wee wee. IMO shame is inferred in so many other ways and a healthy sexuality is picked up from the parents' general attitude...not just through words.

 

Anyway the other day he asked about my wee wee and I told him that girls don't have wee wees...but then I was stumped what to say. I also felt like vagina or vulva was too serious (plus a two year old needs only one word ~differentiating would be too confusing...just as I don't at this point use the term scrotum or testicles). So we are also needing an age-appropriate word for girly bits....
 

Thank you.

 

I am in the same boat. No shaming. She already knows it is a vagina. I find vulva even more 'heavy' on the ears. So no - no vulva yet... will do it when she is 4-5 yrs maybe.

But I cannot imagine saying "Have you cleaned your vulva well sweetie" when she is 4 years old.

 

 

Wish there were a cleaner healthier softer version that I could use. 

 

Like bottom/buns/tush for anus. 

 

Am also completely fine with penis and would have used that if she were a boy. 

 

Sigh!

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#9 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah- we say vulva with dd.  she doesn't really understand what a vagina is.  we do also say a baby is in a mommy's uterus. 

she also will say rectum and anus, though only occasionally. she likes to say butt and butth*le.  redface.gif she thinks those words are somehow inherently funny.

learning correct anatomical terms is important to me, though.  fwiw, we found that vulva is pretty easy to learn to say, it was an early part of her vocab.

I say 'baby is in mommy's stomach' for now (I am pregnant).

 

 

She will learn uterus when she is 5-7 yrs old. I guess people may flame me..but she understands stomach. Even if I were to tell her uterus..she will currently have no idea what I mean..and she has time enough to learn that....

 

I guess I find myself being somewhere in the middle - I do NOT want cutesie names at all.... I just want something softer..until she grows older...

 

For me tush/buns/butt/bottom are perfect.... and seem soft when I say "Have you cleaned your tush well? Can we clean your buns now..." Instead of "Can you clean your anus"

 

:-(

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#10 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah- we say vulva with dd.  she doesn't really understand what a vagina is.  we do also say a baby is in a mommy's uterus. 

she also will say rectum and anus, though only occasionally. she likes to say butt and butth*le.  redface.gif she thinks those words are somehow inherently funny.

learning correct anatomical terms is important to me, though.  fwiw, we found that vulva is pretty easy to learn to say, it was an early part of her vocab.

 

 

See the bolded part. Don't you find it contradictory? She doesn't understand what a vagina is but she understands uterus? My DD just turned 3. If I cannot explain vagina to her how can I explain uterus? 

 

ETA: Also did you notice... when people acknowledge that they use bottom/butt no one is batting an eyelid that it is not the technical term. But when I mention I don't want to use vagina/vulva people want me to use the correct technical term.

 

Promise.. not wanting to cause an argument.. just am trying to point out the anomalies. 

 

I think there is a middle ground - like the bottom or the butt...but am unable to find it. Can someone help?

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#11 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 02:17 PM
 
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just to point out what is probably obvious once you think about it... the word *vagina* is just a word. YOU are making it "HEAVY".

 

say it lightly, say it in passing, say it with no shame on YOUR part and it is simply a word, no weird feelings, no nothing. 

 

same goes for penis.

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#12 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 03:11 PM
 
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We use vulva with our 2yo. We say bottom for the buttocks as that is the most common term used where we are. The anus is just the opening of the rectum, the hole if you like, so we don't use anus when we mean buttocks. I get what people are saying about a double standard but if we were being really correct we'd say gluteus Maximus which really is a bit of a mouthful for a toddler.

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#13 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 03:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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just to point out what is probably obvious once you think about it... the word *vagina* is just a word. YOU are making it "HEAVY".

 

say it lightly, say it in passing, say it with no shame on YOUR part and it is simply a word, no weird feelings, no nothing. 

 

same goes for penis.

 

 

Disagree. And I feel you did not -either- read all my posts or did not understand what I was trying to convey.

 

She knows it is her vagina. She knows the word anus. She doesn't know rectum (it hasn't come up). I am completely open with her. I see NO SHAME in the word. No weird feelings. IF she were a boy I would have used the word penis!

 

I haven't told her there is a baby in my uterus. I see NO SHAME in the word uterus. I still prefer to say' baby in my stomach'. 

 

So I am really talking about the 'sound' of it.. not any shame in the words. 

 

At this time I have said all there is to say about it I guess... will not repeat things further.

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#14 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 03:46 PM
 
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I somehow started using "crotch" with my daughter a long time ago, and that's as specific as we've gotten.  She has a bum and a crotch.  I think it's still an accurate term, just non-specific.  Sometimes lately she will point and specifically ask about  what's down there.  Then I tell her.  I think vagina IS a heavy word to use, and I don't think that it's you that makes it heavy - I think it's a heavy word in our culture.  Vulva, to me, is too specific.  If they're wiping their vulva, shouldn't they also wipe the labia?  Too confusing.  I'm stickin' with crotch.

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#15 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 03:53 PM
 
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I don't know anyone who doesn't call it a pee pee.

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#16 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:10 PM
 
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I don't understand what you mean by "heavy."
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#17 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:10 PM
 
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We use yoni....has beautiful goddess origin yet is kinda kidfriendly even for
pronunciation. My daughter also knows anatomical names
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#18 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:11 PM
 
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Thank you.

I am in the same boat. No shaming. She already knows it is a vagina. I find vulva even more 'heavy' on the ears. So no - no vulva yet... will do it when she is 4-5 yrs maybe.
But I cannot imagine saying "Have you cleaned your vulva well sweetie" when she is 4 years old. Wish there were a cleaner healthier softer version

Like bottom/buns/tush for anus. 

Am also completely fine with penis and would have used that if she were a boy. 

Sigh!

What does this mean? Why is the word vagina not "clean" and "healthy?"
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#19 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:13 PM
 
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BMama, dd doesn't know vagina b/c she can't see, feel, or otherwise know it's there ;)  she is pre-he-tty sure she has a vulva. 

 

she got to interact with the baby in the uterus b/c i was pregnant when she was learning vocab.  and wanted birth stories, so i included uterus. 

i try to use anatomical words with her, anus, etc. but like i said, she just likes to say (scream) butt! 

 

of course you can call it whatever you want~ i just am inclined to believe that it's never too early to learn the proper names for body parts.  dd likes to look at anatomy books, we have one by DK that she really likes to look at.  she can also point to her clavicle and patella, but i have a pretty weird kid.  :)


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#20 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:18 PM
 
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What does this mean? Why is the word vagina not "clean" and "healthy?"

 

Yeah, I'd like clarification on that, as well.

 

 

Perhaps you should consider "sacred well". 


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#21 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What does this mean? Why is the word vagina not "clean" and "healthy?"

 

Oh.. I meant as opposed to the P-word. One of my friends uses it and I don't like it (Pu$$y)

 

To summarize.. was looking for a clean, healthy but kid-friendly version that 'rolls of the tongue' easily (is what I mean by not heavy)

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#22 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I'd like clarification on that, as well.

 

 

Perhaps you should consider "sacred well". 

I was writing with many thoughts in my mind all at once.. the juxtaposition was unfortunate.

 

The second sentence was a summary of all my thoughts.

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#23 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We use yoni....has beautiful goddess origin yet is kinda kidfriendly even for
pronunciation. My daughter also knows anatomical names

 

 

I would have used this had I not thought that if she were in any kind of trouble and wanted to convey to someone else that she had trouble in her vagina/vulva - she wouldn't be understood :(

 

All along I have been using vagina. But in the course of these replies.. I think labia sounds better. Maybe I will start using labia (silly isn't it.. I could have googled and got the answer..but I wondered what the common terms were and wanted the opinion of more moms)

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#24 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 04:33 PM
 
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Our DD knows vagina, labia, and vulva, but for general discussion we use "girls parts" (as in "wipe your girl parts"). 


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#25 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 05:34 PM
 
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You can't just say, "make sure you wipe" or "don't forget to wipe yourself"? You don't necessarily need to name the parts.
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#26 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 05:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newmamalizzy View Post

.  If they're wiping their vulva, shouldn't they also wipe the labia?  Too confusing.  I'm stickin' with crotch.

Vulva is a collective term for the female external genitalia. It includes the labia, minora and majora, and basically everything else you can see on the outside of the body between the pubic bone and the perineum.

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#27 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 05:53 PM
 
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I call it "girl parts" now to my 21 month old. It'll be years before I feel she needs to know she has a uterus, vagina, labia, etc.
 

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#28 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 05:57 PM
 
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I still don't get what the OP means by "heavy." Are we talking about the sound of the word? Or what?
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#29 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 06:07 PM
 
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I grew up being told to clean between my folds which I think is pretty descriptive and to the point about what you really need to do.  The vulva needs extra cleaning attention because it is composed of folds that need to be cleaned between.  We also have taught DD vagina and labia, but when she's being changed and there is poop that got worked up into the folds, that's what we talk about cleaning - the folds.  


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#30 of 234 Old 06-16-2012, 06:13 PM
 
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I think I know what you mean,  My first child is a boy.  I say penis no problem.  Now I have a dd and I cringe (inwardly mind you)  every time I use the word vulva.  I don't know why.  There is no shame involved I just hate the word vulva, and the word vagina for that matter.  I just hate the way they sound.  Now if I was to call it her "pee pee", well that's just fine, doesn't make my cringe, and it's what we called it when I was growing up.  But I want to use the right word, so I just do it.  Vulva it is. 


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