2 year old hitting, pinching on purpose - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 06-22-2012, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sure all you veteran parents will think this is a no brainer, but I need a little reassurance that it's normal. My two year old DS, has recently become very aggressive with myself and my husband. When he doesn't like something he hits us in the face and when we say no, that we don't like that, he will wait and then come back for more, squeezing, pinching, poking hard....We keep telling him "no, hurting mami and papi is a no no". Mostly we keep our cool, occasionally he pushes it too far. I'm hoping this is what people were talking about when they talked about the Terrible Twos....right? That it will pass...

He has always been a mellow kid with a "passionate" streak :) so I'm seeing it as an underdeveloped communication of anger. but part of me is worried that maybe we aren't dealing with it right. We don't do time outs or anything. They don't seem to phase him...so we do a lot of eye contact, facial expression, this-is-not-ok and it makes me sad kind of stuff. Any thoughts?


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#2 of 7 Old 06-22-2012, 11:08 PM
 
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I sure hope it's normal, my two year old does it as well  bag.gif

 

It sounds like you're doing a great job.  When my ds2 hits (usually he hits my ds1,) I do the whole, "Hitting Gil hurts." and have recently added, "Show Gil gentle hands." At first I had to demonstrate how to touch his brother gently, now he does it, and occasional throws in his own hug or says, "Sawie, Dough." (translation - sorry, Gil. LOL) 

 

Can you show him how to use his gentle hands, this way he knows what he can do?


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#3 of 7 Old 06-23-2012, 04:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, we try "be gentle" with me, my husband....our dogs. He will be gentle for a minute and then he will hit or pinch. I don't mean to say he's like this all the time. He is a very loving child. It's mostly when he's frustrated, angry or testing our limits. But sheesh....it's getting old!


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#4 of 7 Old 06-24-2012, 04:11 PM
 
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We've just started this in the last couple weeks. I hope some more people chime in!

Sent from my phone using Tapatalk, please ignore typos!

Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (15).
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#5 of 7 Old 06-24-2012, 04:34 PM
 
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This has been going on for a while on and off at our house, and is a good indicator that she is tired. We do "gentle hands" and "ouch, that hurts" and "lets be easy with each other." When those things don't work, I walk away from here and ignore her (either by going and doing something else or making her sit in her room). I'm sure to let her know that the reason why is because I don't want to be around someone who is hitting me. She understands pretty quickly. "Have to sit on my bed? Mama doesnt like hitting."

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#6 of 7 Old 06-24-2012, 04:56 PM
 
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Lots of toddlers go through an aggressive phase, often before their language is strong enough for them to explain their needs/expectations well, and they get frustrated and can't explain why. I would try helping him to learn that language by asking him what he's feeling, or even just saying it, to give him words to put with those emotions. "You look very angry. You wanted to keep doing X." And then, every single time, tell him not to hit you, but try phrasing it as a positive "be gentle" instead of a negative "no hitting." You can hold his hand and say, "Gentle with your hands" if you want, but one time I did that with one of my kids and she kicked me, so maybe not so specific. LOL. Be gentle with everything! Feet too!

Anyway, it's very very common and should get better if he consistently hears not to do it, and as his language grows. But it is something that takes a while, so in the mean time, you will have to stay very close to him when he's around other kids, because they will frustrate him too and he won't know how to handle that frustrating either.
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#7 of 7 Old 06-25-2012, 10:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post

 You can hold his hand and say, "Gentle with your hands" if you want, but one time I did that with one of my kids and she kicked me, so maybe not so specific. LOL. Be gentle with everything! Feet too!
 

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