What Do I Make Of This? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-26-2012, 08:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My friend did some babysitting last weekend for her best friend's daughter,"Z". She is almost 1.5 years now and too cute for words. My friend said everything went great and her parents came to pick her up. Then, the next day, they came to visit her again, but "Z" wanted nothing to do with my friend. Everytime she just speaks to her, or looks her way, "Z" will hit her or scream at her. My friend is devastated. We all love "Z" and have been babysitting her since she was born, but now she does this. What is going on and what can I tell my friend?

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Old 06-26-2012, 10:08 AM
 
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I can only guess, but my guess is that the baby associates your friend with being away from mom and dad. Perhaps, when they came to visit, the baby thought that mommy and daddy were leaving her again with your friend, and didn't want to. 


Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10

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Old 06-26-2012, 05:53 PM
 
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I think Parkersmommy is probably right. We left DD with my MIL and FIL weeks ago to see a movie and now every time we visit, she's whiny and crying at first. It's getting better but we have to assure her that we are staying and after about half an hour she cheers up and goofs around with the grandparents no problem. I think your friend should try spending time with Z while mom and dad are around to show that she can relax. Hth
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Old 06-26-2012, 08:37 PM
 
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Yeah. "Last time I saw her, my mommy and daddy went away!" You should never take anything a toddler does personally. They have their own logic, but it won't always make sense to us.
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Old 06-27-2012, 03:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If this is the case, thanks by the way :), then what should she do next. If she tries to spend time with her, it does not end well. She said that she tries not to take it personally, but it is hard seeing her do that. Hopefully it will pass soon? Shame , I can only imagine!

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Old 06-27-2012, 07:43 AM
 
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Best I can advise is to see her often with mom and dad around. Don't push to pick her up or play with her but spend time with the family in a no pressure kind of way. Let the toddler approach when she is ready, and in the meantime just tell your friend to be around so the LO gets used to seeing mom, dad and her together. This way hopefully she can speed up the process so the toddler doesn't automatically think mom and dad will leave when I see this person. That's how we are getting our LO used to spending time with the grandparents and we are making progress. Another good idea is to do this outside the home. Our LO is much more open to grandma at the park.
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Old 06-27-2012, 09:10 AM
 
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Kids are fickle and we can't put our adult emotions and thoughts on them.  Toddlers do what they do because....they just do.  You can't really ask why.  And those emotions can change within a few minutes.


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Old 06-28-2012, 12:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Great guys, this really helps! I will keep you updated as my friend keeps me updated. Again, thanks for all the help! 

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