My step-daughter is 2 1/2. We've been potty training her for a couple of months now and it seems to be going well. She will often pee and poop when placed on the potty and will only complain if we put her on it when she is pre-occupied with something else. She seems to usually enjoy using the potty and certainly enjoys the stickers she gets afterwards. We started sending her to daycare in big girl underwear and they place her on the potty their frequently and it seems like it is going well. She still sleeps in diapers though, and since she has two bottles of milk at bedtime, she pretty much always wakes up wet.
The problem is that while she enjoys using the potty, she never ever asks to use it herself. She never says she has to poo or pee and when asked she will always say "NO". The only time I've heard her say she has to pee is when she wakes up early and wants to get out of her crib. Sometimes she actually does have to pee, but often it's a fib. She also has absolutely no problem peeing on the floor, the couch, or whatever chair she happens to be sitting on. She'll pee right through her underwear and all over the floor without stopping whatever she is doing. She completely ignores it as if nothing has happened. When confronted by it, she always just ignores it. We've tried everything, from questioning, "did you pee on the floor?", to strongly reprimanding her, to gently reminding her to use the potty, to asking her "where does pee go?". She always completely ignores us and acts as if nothing has happened. She is certainly aware she is peeing. She just doesn't seem to care. We always put her on the potty right after she pees, not as punishment, but so she learns that peeing in her underwear isn't a way to get out of using the potty. She happily goes and sits on the potty for a bit, but of course she doesn't have to pee anymore.
We are at a loss as to what to do. We put her on the potty frequently, but sometimes she will pee on the floor only 30 min (or even less) after we last put her on the pee (and she didn't pee). The big problem is she knows she is peeing, she just doesn't seem to care where she pees. She will just silently going whenever and wherever she happens and not matter what she happens to be doing. She isn't at all bother by urine soaked clothing and will even play in the urine puddles she makes if we don't notice them quickly enough. Usually our first clue is her wet shoes and then we find a puddle on the carpet, on a chair, in a bed, etc. Please give us some advice!
Two and a half is really little! My experience is that potty learning is a very up and down back and forth kind of zig zag experience, and best done with the child driving it. Parental intervention, other than celebrating successes, should be very minimal. Children really want to grow up and be like us! They will sometimes though work on it for a while, then decide it can be put on hold, then take it up again. It can help to just be patient and let her figure this out, with your cheerleading being the only intervention at all. I wouldn't even stress about putting her on the potty. She'll learn when to go. She also might decide on underpants vs. pull ups on different days. Go with the flow of her choices.
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