I have a 4 year old, 2 year old, 1 year old and am pregnant with my fourth. My kids have always had an early bedtime.. we start the routine around 7. They are all happy with it and it works out great. I have a friend who keeps asking us to make plans for weeknights starting around 6:30. This is late for us considering bedtime routine starts at 7. Am I being unreasonable since I always say no. I mean if it's a special occasion or holiday, of course we make an exception. But dinner that late during the week with 3 toddlers is a little much. Do you think I'm being too rigid?
Nope. Not at all. I'd say don't mess with a good thing (i.e. your early routine that is working for your family). Is it a childless friend, or a friend with older children? Seems like people forget very quickly how inflexible things can be with young children.
Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012
there is no way i would change that early routine, you have too many kids to throw a wrench in at and hope for the best. plus as soon as your 4th comes that routine will save your sanity, hold strong to it!!
and good friend will totally understand your reasoning, if not thats their problem. i am a very loose routine gal and only have my 19m twins, but if i have only learned one thing (and heck i might have) it is to respect my kids routine even if it's not mine. so anything else can happen in our household but sleep at 1pm and 8pm are non negotiables. i just traveled for nearly 4 months (ugh) the only constant between families homes, hotels and even camping at a festival in the woods was 1pm and 8pm. it was there rock, i wouldn't break it for the world.
So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!
This is what we do since going out after 7 doesn't work with young ones. Our friends will come over about 7:30-8pm and we'll watch movies or play games.
I have to say I'd be pretty offended if my friends with kids always rejected my plans. I kind of understand early bedtimes (2 kids of my own), but there's got to be some compromise. We say forget bedtime a few times a month at least and stay out later with friends. Make plans and leave the kids with your partner, have her over, put the kids down at her house, something. Otherwise I can see why she wouldn't even bother asking you to do things anymore.
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