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#31 of 35 Old 09-27-2012, 06:39 AM - Thread Starter
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I have spent the last two days in the classroom with my son to observe but to also just spend time with him, given everything that has happened up to until this point. Yesterday was a very good day for him. I didn't have to tell him to stop making the noises too many times and when I did he stopped immediately. He and his classmates played nicely but I was able to see the personalities of some of the boys he continuously has issues with. One kid in particular kept pestering the other kids intentionally. Several times I caught him pushing a child down and looking around to see if he got caught. I remember this child because this one of the kids my son bit the other week. My son has never bit anyone (not even me) so I was surprised to learned that he bit someone. Given what I saw yesterday, I have a pretty clear understanding why it happened now. 


Today I spent the morning in the classroom and will return at lunch. He was in rare form this morning. He was extremely active and bouncy. I did have to keep telling him to be quiet while I read the class a story and made him come sit by me to settle down. I even pulled him to the side and had a talk with him. I could see some of the behavior the teacher identified first hand and I can see how it can be a disturbance when it is time for the lesson. Our goal right now is to get him to focus and settle down doing circle time (aka story time/lesson of the day). I even went as far as to let him bring his favorite Dr. Seuss book to class and I read that to the kids and he wasn't paying attention at all. Seeing how he loves the spotlight, I could tell that some of what he was doing was to get attention from others. 


I'll be back up there for the second half of the day and the afternoon. I'm scheduling a meeting with his pediatrician when she returns next week to discuss him and possibly see a developmental pediatrician. It's not necessarily testing but I would like to see a medical review to make sure that yes is indeed acting like a 4 year old little boy who loves attention. I'm sure if Dad will be ok with that but I don't want to give the school any more ammunition to build a case against my son.


OH! And the other day I made him sit in timeout on the couch for 15 minutes because he bit someone at school. We talked about how biting isn't nice and we don't do that to classmates so because of his actions, timeout was the consequences.. He actually stayed there the ENTIRE 15 minutes. He whined a couple of times to get down but I stuck to my guns and said no and he stayed!

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#32 of 35 Old 09-29-2012, 07:28 PM
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It sounds like your son is gifted and constrained by the slow pace and social limits of the classroom environment. The disparity between his behavior at home vs. in class and his acting out are classic symptoms of a gifted child who is bored and frustrated at not being able to fully develop his abilities. The freedom afforded in his old class might have provided sufficient latitude for interesting activities, freedom which has been rescinded.

The website below will likely be of interest to you. I'd also Google some of the articles by a professor of gifted education for children named Miraca Gross. Testing might not hurt if you can find a psychologist who specializes in gifted assessment, as you don't want some hack mis-labeling your son ADHD, etc.

Finally, trust in your intuition and believe your son above anyone else. You are your son's advocate. His candid feedback at home is most important. The teachers are only seeing your son's reactions but don't understand his inner drive as you do.
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#33 of 35 Old 10-02-2012, 08:38 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for the information and feedback.

Book loverread.gif - Sewer sewmachine.gif - Movie lover lurk.gif - Mommy to a wonderful little boy (8/4/08) biggrinbounce.gif - Aspiring writer notes.gif - On a mission to lose 15 pounds - all-around cool chick hippie.gif

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#34 of 35 Old 10-09-2012, 12:39 PM
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This is a great blog written by the principal of an elementary school and an educational law attorney in Dekalb County GA.


Some highlights:

Have you noticed the differences between boys and girls at the preschool level?

  • Boys occupy larger space on the playground than girls.
  • Girls express emotions through words; boys express emotion through action.
  • Boys are interested in objects and things; girls are interested in people and relationships.
  • Girls’ games involve turn taking and indirect competition while boys’ games involve bodily contact.

There are many more differences between boys and girls as most parents or teachers could enumerate.  This raises an important question:  why are boys being over identified as having disabilities or being medicated more frequently than girls?

Unfortunately for boys, the teaching profession is a female dominant profession.  Most teachers are not trained in gender differences in learning and behavior.  I recently asked an Early Childhood college professor who teaches in a much respected program if any focus on the differences between the genders is incorporated into the curriculum. Her somewhat sheepish response was “no.”


There is a whole section on how to talk to your child's teacher about gender differences and a lot of other good articles. When I read it I thought of you :)

~Patti~ rainbow1284.gifMomma to three girls and three boys chicken3.gif, First mother to one girl triadadopt.jpg

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#35 of 35 Old 10-18-2012, 06:48 PM
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Subbing, because I have a very active, physical just-turned 3-year-old boy.  DS can sit still and scoop teeny-tiny shovelfuls of dirt in his little excavator for an hour, but won't sit still for an activity he has no interest in.  He also loves to be the center of attention and has to move almost constantly, even if it's just wiggling a foot.   I can completely see this type of situation in our future, if I don't choose to homeschool. 


AKA_PI - any updates?  This must be a very difficult thing to go through, and I really feel for you.  You really seem to be doing a wonderful job advocating for your son, despite your own fears and misgivings.  I hope I can do as well if/when the time comes.

Strong single mama to Ethan (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)
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