Now that I'm in this situation with dd, I really agree with this and adjust our lives and home as much as possible to accommodate dd's exploring and playing.
Lol, this didn't go well at all when visiting my family. They haven't been around babies in so many years, and everything is expensive, designer, breakable. I constantly get asked, 'why don't you hit her' and 'how can she learn if she isn't spanked'? They've been saying this to me since she was a 6 months old! Now I understand, and can't expect others who aren't in the situation to understand. Confidence is so important! Now I can just find their comments amusing instead of offensive.
What a fallacy! I have seen some children who are generally pretty accepting of rules, even when they don't understand the "why." You tell them no a few times, and they get it and occupy themselves in another way. DS is NOT that child. I quickly saw how unfair it was for him to be constantly in a state of frustration at not understanding why he shouldn't do or have something, and we concentrated on making our home as exploration-friendly as possible.
I think that our children dictate our parenting more than we realize. With a different baby, I might still be singing the "consistency" tune, not aware that it doesn't work for all, or even most, children.
single mama to dd (June 2011)
#2 due December 2014!
Thank you for your reply; it's been great food for thought as of late, especially since her behavior has intensified these days. Well, I also work at home, and juggling both is taking a toll on me. Perhaps I wouldn't think of dd as 'difficult' if I didn't need to occupy myself with something else. The same goes with dh. We lose our patience not because of dd, but because of we are drained from work. I keep reminding myself of this as a way to keep my cool.
It's interesting that you mention this-- just last night, when I was making the bed, I noticed dd hovering around me and pulling on the sheets. Yes, she'd occasionally block my way and undo what I've done, but she just wants to be involved. It's very cute. When I'm swatting mosquitoes, she is as well. Constantly trying to see things from her perspective at those moments really help me.
It's so hard juggling everything for sure! I think that we all need to give ourselves permission to take a "break" now and then, and recognize that things are not going to be perfect or easy all of the time. Sometimes you will loose your temper, but instead of beating yourself up about it, use it as a learning experience. Because one of the things our DC will learn is that Mommy (and Daddy) are only human, and there are things that make us emotional too, and there are many things that we are still learning too. Raising a child challenges you in ways that you would never expect.
I always notice that when my son is being particularly difficult it's because he has moved on from one skill to another. If you give them something new to work with, that should help them be able to focus their attention and let you have a break a little bit. 15 months is when your little baby is really becoming a toddler, and I found that I really needed to change the way I thought about the way I was trying to entertain my DS. For us, he became more interested in puzzles, so I bought one or two of those, but I also gave him some tupper wear containers with covers so he could figure out which covers belonged to each container. I just cut a hole in the top of a coffee container and found some things around the house that he can put into the holes. He loves just putting them in and taking them out. It doesn't have to be big changes and you don't have to go out and buy all new things, just try to pay attention to what she is focusing on, and try to give her something that helps her develop that skill.
And yes, it's SO easy to forget what it's like to have a baby around!!
Mommy to DS born 11-10-10 And DD born 6-3-13