2 yr old girl - Mine problem - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-06-2012, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm 23 male and I have a 22 yr old female and her 2 yr old daughter living with me.  The mother and I are close friends and so I look at the 2 yr old as daughter.  I show her as much care as I feel I should.  The problem is, she says mine to me for everything.  "How are you Ava?" "My blankie", "Can I see the papers (that's she's holding)" "Mine", "Did you have fun today?" "Mine", "I'm not trying to take anything away from you Ava" "Mine".  It's almost like she's either scared of me taking her toys and comfort items away or she doesn't understand the word and it's meaning but knows it provokes a reaction.  Of course, "Mine" is a word that when used, the individual shouldn't be diciplined, but she has to learn the word's meaning and that it's not a word to use in replacement for all other words.  I would love to figure out a way to break this pattern.  Is there something I'm missing?  The mother is also kinda getting annoyed and frustrated at this.  Any help in this department would be greatly appreciated.

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#2 of 4 Old 10-06-2012, 02:38 PM
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I honestly wouldn't worry about it. She's at the right age to be learning about ownership and object permanence/impermanence and still has no concept of sharing.

I imagine she's answering all questions with "mine" because that's the most important thing to her at the moment. It doesn't mean she won't learn the correct use and meaning of the word. She just has other priorities :-)

If you want to you could say "actually that belongs to [insert your name] but you can hold it" or whatever but I wouldn't persist if it upsets her. Unless it is something that she isn't allowed to have. In which case Id take it away, briefly tell her why and empathise with the disappointment.

She'll have a new favourite word soon :-)

Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012  mdcblog5.gif

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#3 of 4 Old 10-06-2012, 09:40 PM
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"mine" is currently the bane of my existence. DS is 2 years 2 months & he says it for EVERYTHING. I cannot wait for this phase to end.

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#4 of 4 Old 10-07-2012, 05:31 AM
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That's a pretty normal phase kids go through, so I wouldn't stress over it too much.


What you could do is ask if you could see HER blankie/toy/dress/doll/whatever... Hold it, hug it, praise it - and give it right back, telling her something like "Thank you for letting me see your... insert item." As she gets more comfortable with this, you can extend the time.


BUT... How long have they been living with you? It could well be if it's been a short time, she just isn't ready to trust that you will take adequate care of her stuff - and her. In which case - tread slowly.

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