At wit's end with almost four-year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 1 Old 10-24-2012, 08:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Serenity now!  My DD turns four at the end of November.  She's always been a focused, independent spirit and super sweet.  So much so, that folks that know her marvel at how lovely she is in terms of being kind to others and a very loving little girl. 

 

Recently, though, she has started using words and phrases that are just not ok with us as her parents.

 

e.g.:

 

I don't like you!

I hate you, Wyatt! (her little brother)

You can't say that to me!

You don't get to do that.

I WILL do it. (after being instructed to modify her behavior)

Mommy, you are NOT nice!

 

Plus she has started to swing at me and often makes contact.  When she does hit me she immediately says she is "sorry" but the behavior continues. 

 

I know that words and actions right now have power for the little ones as they start to realize how what they do and say cause reactions.  I get that it's developmentally appropriate.  What I don't know is how I should react.  I've tried ignoring it, I've tried talking to her about it using feeling terms, e.g. it hurts Mommy when you hit her.  And we've sat and given her mommy and daddy time while talking to her about how she can express herself differently.  When she makes sweeping statements about "don't like" and "hate" I try and isolate actions from the entire dismissal, i.e. Wyatt took your doll and you don't like that he did that.

 

Still, the behavior is escalating to the point where I just need some feedback couched in advice :)


Walking in the light with DH, DD (11/08), DS (4/10) , four dogs, and one insouciant cat.
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