Every time I sit down, my 2.5 y.o wants to nurse - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 11-10-2012, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I know I should re-direct.  Yes, I know to offer food and drink or say "Oh, you want to nurse?  You might be hungry or thirsty."  I do these things. 

 

I am getting to the point where I stand up doing whatever (dishes, picking up, anything) just so I don't "have" to nurse.

 

Overall, I do love nursing and am grateful that I still have supply and a child who's interested.  He's super healthy, which I do, in part, attribute to nursing.  I am back to work full time and nursing is a lovely way to reconnect. 

 

But I am getting tired of it being 95% of the time I try to sit down.  Anybody else?


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#2 of 11 Old 11-10-2012, 05:29 PM
 
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i totally get it, can you think of some other thing that lets you two snuggle up and just focus on each other? cause maybe she's hungry, but more likely she is wanting to connect as well


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#3 of 11 Old 11-10-2012, 06:13 PM
 
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I know exactly what you mean.  Exactly.  A lot of the time I sit down to read or knit or drink my coffee or just watch them play, I find him on my lap and it often ends in tears and frustration because he will literally fight me to get access to my breasts to nurse when all I wanted was to take a quick break! I often eat standing up at the counter, particularly lunch when he is gettinng sleepy (still nurses to sleep when he naps) so I don't have to eat while I nurse.  My daughter was the same way. 

 

I have very little in the way of advice to give-sometimes he will be redirected with a story (if he is tired) or a bouncing game where I sit him on my foot and bounce him around, but these generally only last a few minutes and then I get up again or give in and nurse him. 

 

I too am very grateful that I am able to continue nursing him, but it is still very frustrating to still be at this point at 2.5 years old.  I remember when my daughter weaned, it was sooooo nice to just be able to cuddle her without her grabbing at me and having to fight for control of my shirt to keep her out, and I look forward to that with my son as well.  For now, I just keep on trying to redirect or keep on not sitting down very much :)


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#4 of 11 Old 11-11-2012, 06:23 AM
 
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DS does the exact same thing (23 months).  I've found that he doesn't do it if we're outside in the yard and I sit down, so if I'm wanting to just chill out for a bit, we head outside and he plays while I sit (intermittently, at least).

 

The only kind of redirection that works for us is intense, full body play - if I tackle him, tickle him, hold him upside down, that kind of thing for a while, then sometimes he'll go back to playing and let me sit.  Sometimes!




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#5 of 11 Old 11-11-2012, 07:46 AM
 
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So one of my 22m twins is starting this kind of thing. Forgive me if I'm missing something here, but at this age (2-2.5) shouldn't they be able to deal with a clear "no"?
Limits aren't mean, they keep the balance. I figure that part of her role in getting to be in an full term nursing relationship with me, is the learn how to accept when my boobs are not avaible at the moment.
I have been explaining that it's not nursing time, a simply why if that's would make sense. (Moms eating, you just finished, it's your brothers turn) and then being empathetic but not held hostage with her reaction.

Mind you I'm new to this, but I feel like it is working to give us that balance that I will need to keep nursing two toddlers and keep my sanity.

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#6 of 11 Old 11-11-2012, 03:06 PM
 
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Totally understand and my son is 3 years and 4 months.  I can attest it has been getting better since he turned 3, but still pretty draining. 

 

Re-direction does work here for a short while, however if a LO has the thought, it will come back.  At least in my situation.  I have to let him know that I will finish up what I am doing and he can nurse and that comes with a protest.  If he is over-stimulated, upset, etc... I just sit, easier on both of us. 

 

You are sooo not alone. 


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#7 of 11 Old 11-11-2012, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ View Post

So one of my 22m twins is starting this kind of thing. Forgive me if I'm missing something here, but at this age (2-2.5) shouldn't they be able to deal with a clear "no"?
 

Believe me, I love the idea.  Just doesn't happen to be my reality. 

 

As long as I am very directly playing with him, he'll give up on the nursing demands, but if I want to sit down for 5 (or 2) minutes for a cup of coffee, it just doesn't happen.

 

We don't have any t.v. here or movies, so I am sure that's part of it.


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#8 of 11 Old 11-11-2012, 07:42 PM
 
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i have no tv or movies on in my kid areas either, if you feel your only way that you can redirect is to TV that is a whole separate struggle

 

and im not saying they are thrilled, but i feel like it's my job to help them learn to handle small disappointments in a loving way.

i feel for you, you sound like you are being held hostage, its not fair for you and not good for him either. at this age i think it is completely reasonable to teach him to play on his own for a few minutes so you can sit and catch your breath.

that goes double for the lady that says she ends up eating standing up, so not healthy mentally or physically, there has to be a better way


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#9 of 11 Old 11-22-2012, 07:31 PM
 
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My daughter, who just turned three, hasn't been open to re-direction, especially for something she really cares about, for quite a while now. That really only worked when she was very small. What she DOES respond well to is a firm but gentle No followed by me telling her why and then when I would be okay with her getting what she wants, if that's appropriate. So if she wanted to nurse when I didn't want her to, I just said No, Mommy needs to rest, but you can have num nums at such and such time or place. She may protest, but with consistency- not giving in, and always giving it to her when I promised I would- she accepts it readily enough. I do this throughout our day for lots of things, and she usually just sighs and says, Okay, Mommy.

Another suggestion that worked very well for us was designating fewer and fewer places that she was allowed to nurse. So when I am fine with nursing her, we move to a certain chair, for example. So me sitting in that chair is a signal to nurse, and if I'm not in that chair it becomes obvious I will not be nursing her. It eventually became only okay to nurse in bed, side lying, so she quickly stopped trying to nurse elsewhere, and when she wanted to nurse, she asked to go to bed. Me sitting down stopped being a trigger for her, so I was free to sit down!

I am pregnant now, and in my third trimester, and I ended up weaning her right after her third birthday. My policy was always to maintain a nursing relationship that we both enjoyed. My decision to wean her was very tough, but I found myself hating nursing (dry nursing with serious pain), and the last thing I wanted was to start resenting her instead of connecting with her. Looking back, I am very pleased with the course of our nursing relationship!

I hope this helps!!
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#10 of 11 Old 11-23-2012, 09:11 AM
 
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Tbutton, you sound like you did/do a great job. thanks for the ideas, your approach of focusing and removing the triggers seems smart, toddlers are such creatures of habit, and i know that i eat drink and in the past smoked out of pure habit with other things around me reminded me of them


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#11 of 11 Old 11-23-2012, 11:57 AM
 
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Thanks, Adorkable, I really hope to be helpful. We moms need all the helpful advice and encouragement we can get. This parenting stuff isn't for the faint of heart!
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