I can't leave for a run, I can hardly leave the room without her screaming, and she will not be comforted by my husband. She will scream for three hours straight with him trying to read her books, distract her with toys, everything. Her immediate needs are always met before I leave, and yet she screams, pushes him away.
It hurts him so deeply. He wants so desperately to have a close relationship with her, like his friends have with their (mostly formula-fed, daycare attending) toddlers. He cries often, feeling rejected by her. It's been almost two years and she's only wanted him for cuddles and comfort a handful of times.
It's hard for me to feel like promoting such deep, loving attachment with her comes at such a high cost - Daddy doesn't want to always play second fiddle to Mommy, and yet, he doesn't have the boobs, the soft voice that she screams for when I'm gone. I know we've done what's right for our family, but how can I help my daughter grow to be more comfortable with Daddy?
This is happening with my toddler as well. This is typical behavior for attachment parented children. In about 6-12 months, Daddy will become her favorite! Trust me, I'm on my 3rd child... It will turn around!
Another mom of a former super mommy velcro baby/toddler saying that 18-20 months was when the all mommy, all the time thing started to fade. Now, at 6-1/2 years, she and daddy are as thick as thieves.
He wasn't able to even hold her for more than a few minutes without her screaming for me until she was well over 6 months old. I wore her almost constantly for her first year, for awake times and naps. We coslept. We nursed. I didn't bother trying to go anywhere alone until she was 18 months old. Not an exaggeration. I remember it distinctly because it was a Foo Fighters concert with friends, and I was SO NERVOUS I was gonna get a phone call from him with her screaming in the background. Se was very unlike our firstborn in this area, who we joked would go with the mailman every day if we let him. lol. So it took some getting used to for both of us....she just wasn't our first, so we knew it was a personality thing and not a parenting thing.
Now, he and I are tied (with her big brother) as her "favorite-est" people in the world.
I'm sorry he's hurting, but you guys are so close to the developmental leaps she is coming to to make things a little easier on you, and a little more loving for him. Just keep doign what you're doing, making sure he has a role when you're all together, and it will come. Hugs to all of you!
It did hurt his feelings but by the second kid it wasn't so bad because soon enough they moved into daddy's girl mode.
It's not the attachment parenting thing! Kids go through stages; this is one.
You keep mentioning about how your daughter is with her dad while you're not there. What about when she's with him when you are there? Like, if you're both sitting in a room, but he has her, not you?