Starting Potty Training - great start and now frustration - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 01-11-2013, 11:05 PM - Thread Starter
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I bought a potty for my DD when she was 18 months with the intention to keep it casual, let her get used to it, figure out what it was and go from there. Great start, she would sit on it with her clothes on and say 'pee' and then wipe herself and throw the tissue in with Mommy's. Before Christmas she actually went 4 times, three pees and one poo. All before bed, it was amazing. I would clap for her, encourage her, and tell her what she did. She was pretty scared of her poo though, and we flushed it down the potty together.


I really don't want to make this a stressful thing, she is 21 months now, I am in no hurry but she is always asking to go. She will say 'pee' and we'll ask if she wants to use the potty and she'll run down the hall really happy, help us take her pants off but as soon as it comes to actually sitting on the potty she will flip out, arch her back and refuse. Sometimes she will sit on the floor or stand like her dad pees. I will say 'ok, we'll try again later' and take her out of the bathroom because I really don't want to pressure her but she won't want to leave. She'll scream because she wants to pee and use the potty and point at them and start the cycle all over again.


She wants to but is nervous about it. I practiced putting a little water in the potty with her and putting it in the toilet and have gotten her to sit on it on her change table (safe place) and read her a book and that's seems ok.


I don't want to pressure her but she is telling me she wants to use it and wants to pee! Any tips to help her get over her fear  or any advice??



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#2 of 9 Old 01-12-2013, 08:36 AM
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I'm not yet to this point, but could the potty chair be uncomfortable? A different potty may work better, especially if she can go with you to help pick it out.
Also, you could try relocating the potty to the area she spends most her time, to cut out the race down the hall. She may be getting "performance anxiety" with the race to the potty. Or something else in the bathroom could be scaring her, or it's too cold.
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#3 of 9 Old 01-12-2013, 08:38 AM
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Another thought, where do diaper changes happen? Is the potty in the same place she associates changing with?
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#4 of 9 Old 01-12-2013, 09:02 AM
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No advice, but you're not alone.

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#5 of 9 Old 01-12-2013, 07:39 PM
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Would she prefer to use a seat insert on the big toilet rather than the potty chair?  My LO is only14mos so while we aren't quite there she is very interested in mommy going potty and I have put her on the 'big potty' a few times with my arms around her to keep her from falling in - she loves it!  But from my experience with kids I watched and helped to potty train in the past, some just didn't like the potty seats but did well learning on the toilet.  So for us, we will be trying things out this summer when she can go nekkid and I'll let her pick out a potty but knowing my DD I do anticipate her wanting to use the real deal. 


Just be relaxed.  If she freaks out, ask her what is scary about it.  If she's able to tell you, then you can talk about it and find a way to make it better!

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#6 of 9 Old 01-16-2013, 07:11 AM
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Have her dolls/stuffed animals go potty.
Have her sit on the potty in the living room (as suggested) and try it when she doesn't necessarily have to go. Read books while she sits, sing songs, etc to make the potty feel neutral or fun.
If you know any, have her hang out with other kids who use the potty. It's a big motivator to some kids.
I'll post more later, gotta run. Good luck!
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#7 of 9 Old 01-23-2013, 08:11 PM
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I found that my DD (now almost 2.5!) went through a cycle of interest/non-interest, and I also introduced the potty around 18 months.  She started showing a bit more consistent interest about 4 or so months ago, but used the potty rather inconsistently.  Then, about 2 months ago, she showed a lot of serious in the potty (including regularly asking at school to use the potty), so we created a sticker chart; she has been consistently going on the potty during her awake hours, with few accidents, for almost 2 months now.


I think sticker charts are magic.  I found getting stickers that appeal to my DD (puffy, sparkly, certain animals/objects), and letting her put them on the chart herself, really motivated her to use the potty consistently. Perhaps something to consider trying?

I before E, except after C.  Weird.
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#8 of 9 Old 01-23-2013, 08:49 PM
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cant recommend enough getting this book  Oh Crap. Potty Training  , its only 15 bucks and have known so many folks it has worked great for, she also has a blog and a forum for more info and offers one on one coaching as well.  one great thing is that she helps dispels a lot is myths and old wives tales in her book, some are just silly but others are really important in that we often sabotage our success and that of the child by doing them.

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

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#9 of 9 Old 02-04-2013, 05:04 PM
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Any updates OP? I'm also not there yet, but do sit 12mo DD on the potty every morning and evening while we brush teeth, etc.  As soon as she walks as a main mode of transportation I plan to do a naked crash course potty training of sorts to see how she does, where I leave her naked all day to so she can see when pee/poo happens.

Married Since 4/05
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