When to give siblings their own room? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
~adorkable~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State Of Bliss
Posts: 4,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If space was not the factor, at what point (age or otherwise) would you move siblings to their own room?

So for me they are twins, but it may be the same line of thinking as other close in age siblings. Mine are also boy/ girl, though Im not sure that sexes matters at these ages.

We are moving into a new home when they are about 2.5 or so, since we will be buying and living in this home for most if not all thier childhood, we will clearly be buying with room for them to have their own rooms at some point. We will also have a play room since I am a big proponent on not having a bunch of toys I toddler rooms.

So I'm just wondering if I should set their rooms up as one or two? When to move them? I would set the rooms very differently for each senario and since we are finally owning I would live to do a lot of great work to their rooms. So thinking about this ahead of time is probably important.


Your thought folks?

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
~adorkable~ is offline  
#2 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 05:56 PM
 
chel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: lost in a cornfield
Posts: 4,230
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I would just do it whenever you move.
More so that I hate to decorate and since you will have the space, why not just do it and get it done with. Otherwise you have to set up a room for two, with furniture to fit and then have to redo it and then Dealing with the debate over who goes where.

My oldest was 4.5yrs when she got her own room, we were in a 1br apartment before that so it was never a choice
My youngest had her own rooms by 1yr, but never did much in it till close to 2.5yrs. By 3yrs she definitely called it "her" room and would tell her oldest sister to get out, just like big sis would say to her.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
chel is offline  
#3 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 06:10 PM
 
greenemami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

I would probably have them share a room when you move and then switch them to separate rooms whenever they ask :) I think it is good for kids to share rooms though, even if it is not absolutely necessary.  Also, it is much easier for *me* to have my kiddos in the same room for bedtime, since they both like me to be in there with them while they fall asleep. 

 

Dd is nearly 6 and definitely asks for her own room now (her brother is almost 3).  But, she also loves to sleep in the same bed as him :) Right now we don't have enough bedrooms for her to have her own room, but I will switch so she is sharing iwth her sister (my dsd who lives with us only 35% of the time), so she'll have her own room at least part of the time probably in a year or two, not really sure yet.

 

good luck with the decision!


Single mama namaste.gif to dd dust.gifand ds fencing.gif, loving my dsd always reading.gif .
greenemami is online now  
#4 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 08:40 PM
 
miso happy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 65
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We moved into a house that had a third bedroom when the kids were 16 months and 4 years old (about 8 months ago).  Before that they shared a room because there wasn't an extra room.  We set up each of their rooms but the older one still sleeps in her little brother's room.  Her room is bigger and has toys in it so they play there in the day but she has never slept in it yet.  She says maybe when she's 5 she'll sleep in there.  It really doesn't matter to me since they don't wake each other up.  She gets put to bed about a half hour after him and occasionally he  is still awake and they talk for a few minutes.  He wakes up about a half hour earlier than her and I run in there the moment I hear him or else she wakes up and calls for me to tell me he needs me; luckily she usually goes back to sleep though.

miso happy is offline  
#5 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 08:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
~adorkable~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State Of Bliss
Posts: 4,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm generally thinking of separating them since they don't need me in there to fall asleep and do sleep in very different ways and I'm worried my girl will be dropping her nap way before our boy. I can't see "quiet time" working very well with the two together.

But I'm also worry about changing too much all at once, we will be in transition for a few months in the move and they will be sleeping in a few different places over that time. So wondering if I should just plan on keeping them together for a little while in the new house till the dust settles, or do I get the change all over with so we can be done with change and move forward?

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
~adorkable~ is offline  
#6 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 08:56 PM
 
pek64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,502
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would not bother with decorating, just make both neutral, with one bed in one and two or a double in the other. Then, when one is ready to move into a room alone, there's already a bed there. In the meantime, it's a spare bedroom for the occassional aunt, uncle, or grandparent who comes to visit.
pek64 is offline  
#7 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 09:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
~adorkable~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State Of Bliss
Posts: 4,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm genetically incapable of not decorating. I can hold off for a bit but I have waited decades to decorate my own home and my kids rooms, crap I joined pintrest for it, and that is scary!

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
~adorkable~ is offline  
#8 of 14 Old 02-24-2013, 10:19 PM
 
LLQ1011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,008
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

LOL i shared a room with my sister my whole life. She still climbed into bed with me if she got scared even at 17. I loved not being alone. So whenever.

LLQ1011 is offline  
#9 of 14 Old 02-25-2013, 10:48 PM
 
SplashingPuddle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am trying to make a decision around creating a sibling bed. It seems like a really individual decision, but I see a lot of value in young children co-sleeping. I hear that it nurtures sibling bonds.

SplashingPuddle is offline  
#10 of 14 Old 02-26-2013, 10:27 AM
 
chel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: lost in a cornfield
Posts: 4,230
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
For my household, having your own room has nothing to do with where you sleep. So don't feel you have to decide that when rooms are assigned.
I did give dd1 a queen size bed for her first bed. The room was also our guest room and I didnt want to limit sleeping options.
dbsam likes this.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
chel is offline  
#11 of 14 Old 02-26-2013, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
~adorkable~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State Of Bliss
Posts: 4,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
 It seems like a really individual decision, but I see a lot of value in young children co-sleeping. I hear that it nurtures sibling bonds.

 

i could see that for sure though i dont think i have a issue encouraging sibling bonds, my twins are the tag team of the decade  and started their life curled around each other, they were then in the same bed for their first year or more. 

im sure it is a bit diferent with non twin siblings

 

 

Quote:
For my household, having your own room has nothing to do with where you sleep.

 

and in my house i would like to see everyone sleep in the room their bed is in. i have had them in mine for some portion of the night nearly every night of their life and frankly have had enough of it, they dont sleep well, i dont sleep nearly at all and it makes me a worse mom for it. 2+ years of a family bed with twins is quite enough thanks. i want to make sure they feel safe loved and comfortable and then help them learn that is where they need to sleep, for their own quality of rest and that os their other family members and that includes their sibling.

 

my girl will clearly be dropping her nap way before her brother, she did so with the other naps and even now sleep 1-2 hours to his 3-4. she is a bit of night owl and he is a morning person.


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
~adorkable~ is offline  
#12 of 14 Old 02-26-2013, 09:25 PM
 
dbsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

This may not work since you want to decorate the rooms yourself and you prefer they sleep in their own room, but this is what worked for us.  We also have B/G twins.

 

They shared a room until they were a bit older...can't remember exactly but probably 5 or 6.  At this time they wanted to pick out their own paint colors, etc. (I w/h rather done it myself but they really wanted to make the rooms their own.)  We put a full-sized bed in each room.  There are times they want to sleep in their own beds but most of the time they sleep together in one of their rooms.  It may take a bit longer to wind down and go to sleep since they tend to talk or laugh, but overall, they sleep better and more soundly when they sleep together.  My children are now 8.5.  At some point they will prefer to sleep alone but for now they are twisted up in odd configurations that would seem to disturb sleep,  but works well for them.  I am not sure if it is a sibling or twin comfort or just their personalities.

dbsam is offline  
#13 of 14 Old 02-26-2013, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
~adorkable~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: State Of Bliss
Posts: 4,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

let me put that i different way, i want everyone to sleep where they can sleep best and not mess up everyone else's sleep in the process. if we find they sleep better on one room or even in one bed, i'm fine with that. i only ever put them in two cribs at about 13 months because they were stealing each others comfort items and waking each other. and when they both end up in my bed on most days for their final few hours of sleep, they sometimes get all lovey with each other, but often just little to poke and flop on top of each other and someone always takes the brunt of that kind of tough love.  it may change when they are a bit older, but my boy is going to be so much bigger than her (at 30 pounds he already has 5 pounds on her) it may never be a good thing, he likes to sit on her head a bit too much for her liking.

 

i also am not particularly attached to who picks colors and such i just want to have fun and do stuff


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
~adorkable~ is offline  
#14 of 14 Old 02-26-2013, 09:47 PM
 
dbsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ View Post

let me put that i different way, i want everyone to sleep where they can sleep best and not mess up everyone else's sleep in the process. if we find they sleep better on one room or even in one bed, i'm fine with that. i only ever put them in two cribs at about 13 months because they were stealing each others comfort items and waking each other. and when they both end up in my bed on most days for their final few hours of sleep, they sometimes get all lovey with each other, but often just little to poke and flop on top of each other and someone always takes the brunt of that kind of tough love.  it may change when they are a bit older, but my boy is going to be so much bigger than her (at 30 pounds he already has 5 pounds on her) it may never be a good thing, he likes to sit on her head a bit too much for her liking.

 

i also am not particularly attached to who picks colors and such i just want to have fun and do stuff

It makes sense, I have friends whose children (even those that are twins) sleep better apart.  You can always give them their own rooms and then see where they sleep best. 

Regarding the napping, mine never napped well...never - ugh.  Maybe separate rooms as toddlers w/h/b a good idea!  They were in our room as babies and still never napped well. 

 

For me, I have always like the house a certain way and it was a little tough giving up the control and allowing the bright green and bright pink walls.  I set some limits...but they seem, to 'decorate' something every day.  Right now it is finger weaving hanging from every possible thing in their rooms and my daughter has wall clingies of puppies in the strangest locations (covering the light switch??).

 

eta:  One benefit of giving them their own rooms even if they choose to sleep together is the fact that they can have their own space.  My son is very neat and organized and my daughter enjoys mess. 

dbsam is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off