1 1/2 year old "grinding" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-19-2013, 11:48 AM - Thread Starter
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My youngest daughter is a little over a year and a half now and has a strange behavior that I wanted to ask you all about.

She "humps" or grinds her pelvis on things quite a bit. Shes actually had started it months ago and it was pretty bad, but then stopped for about a month. Well, shes started up again and its worse than ever. She tries to do it on our legs, but I finally stopped that. Now she goes to the arms of our sofa, she ends up getting a very red and tender vagina and last night she had a pretty decent rash on her inner thighs. When she does this, she goes into a trance or a frenzy, its very hard to get her to stop. The longest we've let her go doing it at once was about 45 min.

We've been careful with this because I figured she is just pleasure seeking and I didn't want to shame her. But I'm honestly a little worried. Does anybody have any insight on this?

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#2 of 6 Old 04-21-2013, 12:22 PM
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Have you had her examined for a possible infection?  Before assuming she's purely self-stimulating, I'd make sure she doesn't have a problem that's causing vaginal, urinary, or rectal itching.  Or a skin sensitivity.  Just to be thorough!

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#3 of 6 Old 04-21-2013, 01:13 PM
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Im almost positive there is no infection, etc. We did have her examined before, but not tested. She doesn't scratch or act as if that area is bothering her in the slightest, other than when she is doing this...

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#4 of 6 Old 04-21-2013, 01:24 PM
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I think it's important to teach her appropriate behavior without shaming. Is that something you'd be ok with any other child or adult doing out in front of the whole family? If not, then teaching her good boundaries is appropriate. A simple, "we don't rub our vulva on things in the living room" might be sufficient.

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#5 of 6 Old 04-22-2013, 06:52 AM
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Hi there April K ... My first thought is the saying : "if it feels good, humans do it!" I honestly think your LO has just found an activity that feels good and it has likely become a self soothing behaviour for her. Honestly, there is nothing wrong and it is normal. I had the opportunity to work with many parents and children before having my DS and the nature of my job meant that parents often shared experiences like yours with me.

In fact, I heard a great podcast the other day that sort of touches on this topic.....
The web page is:

And it's the following podcast: 18th of April; Sexiologist.

The podcast is very insightful and she (Emily Power Smith) talks about talking to kids about sex and their bodies.

I really hope it helps! I think you will find it very interesting and reassuring. And try not to worry too much. I'd just focus on perhaps encouraging your daughter to do it in the privacy of her own room but of course let her know that there is nothing wrong with what she's doing. To her, it's innocent, it just feels good and relaxing.

Good luck!
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#6 of 6 Old 04-22-2013, 06:56 AM
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