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#1 of 11 Old 06-30-2013, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, it's more my husband's concern than mine.  Throughout my pregnancy, my woman's intuition Inner Voice never failed me, it was spot on all the time and when my dear husband worried, I comforted and reassured him and he would close eyes, take a deep breath, and say, "ok, you're right.  your intuition is always right."  My intuition continues to be spot on, though I sometimes have a hair of doubt, 99% of the time, I'm not worried, but sadly my dear husband is quite the worrier.  At the moment, he's worried about our 15 month old little 1 developing and growing the way he's supposed to with milestones and such.  I told him several times that all children and babies grow and develop at their own pace and while there are standards and overall rules, each child is an individual and different.  Our adorable beautiful 15 near 16 mo lo Michelangelo is eating the delicious food Mama makes, he's teething like crazy, his top and bottom front teeth are coming in beautifully, quite the little choppers, he crawls forward and backwards, toddles around, bounces around lol too very cute, walks and toddles back and forth in his play pen, grabs everything and puts it in his mouth, studies everything, and we think he was a dentist in another life lol because he loves to put his finger in our mouths and examine them.  lol He's quite the little silly adorable character and his laugh and smile are infectious...he cracks up his Mama and Dada.  What he's not doing quite yet is clapping, waving, and imitating us, though he sticks out his tongue when we do and he takes a genuine interest when we read to him.  He says Mama, Dada, Mommy, Daddy and sometimes hi and yeah.  My dear husband is very worried and I'd love to tell him that other sweet Mamas on these forums agree with me that our little boy will be fine and he should worry less.  He has a follow up with his pediatrician in a few weeks and we'll be sure to discuss it with him, but I honestly intuitively feel he's fine and will be fine and there's nothing to worry about.  Aren't some children a little faster or slower in development than others?  I mean, nothing is etched in stone or a strict standard, right?  Thank you for listening.


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#2 of 11 Old 06-30-2013, 05:50 PM
 
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Your little boy will be fine. DH should worry less lol.gif But really, that all sounds perfectly normal. 


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#3 of 11 Old 07-01-2013, 06:55 PM
 
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My DD took her time with the waving too. I'm always amazed when I go out and a 10 month old is waving their little hand off at me.  I don't think DD waved until like 15 months, and even then she's very stingy with it, she's just not as friendly as some I guess, lol! But really, sounds good to me! Who knows why they'll do A at one age and take their sweet time with B.  They are their own little people, with their own interests.


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#4 of 11 Old 07-02-2013, 12:38 PM
 
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Only worry if he's 2 and not waving and all that stuff. Oftentimes when kids are early in the toddling/physical stuff they tend to be slower with verbal communication.

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#5 of 11 Old 07-02-2013, 06:22 PM
 
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My DD was very much NOT an imitator, so it took her a lot longer to learn to do things like waving and clapping and whatnot that imitating-type babies can do by 6 months.  She just...learned them eventually on her own.  Took a little longer, but she got there all the same.

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#6 of 11 Old 08-22-2013, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Mommies for your kind caring support.  I appreciate it very much.  What I can't stand are the "shoulds"..."he should be talking, he should be waving, he should be communicating with his Mommy and Daddy, he should be able to communicate with his peers by age 2"... I love my husband and I understand he's concerned, but I really don't want to be worrying about this now...while I respect science and doctors, they don't know everything and not everything is etched in stone, right?  I'm sure stress in the home doesn't help, but is there anything we can do to for lack of better words, intervene, and help him along and help him communicate better and help him develop better and quicker?  I know there are statistics and common behaviors and developing patterns that children should or need to be doing, but aren't there variables and is it so terrible if by certain ages and stages, a child is a little slower than most, and perhaps will catch up and develop and pick up speed later?  I mean, is everything black and white?  I know we're Mommies here and not doctors, but I really need to hear some common sense intuition and understanding and some positive encouragement and reinforcement.  I believe there is a time and place for things and sometimes you need a doctor and expert and other times, the Mommy simply needs to trust her intuition, but I admit I'm a little concerned, I just want to believe our little boy is fine and healthy.  He recently started walking, a little wobbly, but we're helping him practice, and he holds his Mommy and Daddy tight when we hold him and carry him and walk around.  He has his 18 month follow up in August or September and we'll see what his pediatrician says, but in his previous visit, the doctor said he's doing just fine and Daddy is worrying too much and he's growing and developing the way he needs to and he'll be just fine. Ok, I admit, I'm a bit concerned, but I want to hear that I'm worrying too much and there's no need to worry.  We want to socialize with other parents and their young children and we're looking for a meetup or Mommy and Me group that we feel comfortable and safe in.  Does socializing and interacting with other children his age help with his growing and development? Please don't laugh or scoff...it's an honest innocent question.  We're looking for an afternoon meetup because mornings are very difficult for us with Mommies who are organic and chemical free and mid-late 30s or older because we're in our late 40s and we'd love to find 1 with Mommies who don't drink anything caffeinated, but mature and organic nontoxic is a good start.  We currently live in OR  and we look forward to meeting like-minded Mommies and their children there very soon.  Thank you for listening.  I appreciate your kind caring support.


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#7 of 11 Old 08-23-2013, 08:04 PM
 
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Hi momma! I don't have a lot of time for a super long post, but I will address the high points.

It's totally normal to be worried about development, especially when ppl are telling you your LO "should" be doing stuff- I'm super guilty of doing this myself and generally being a worry wort.

However, if you feel that you have genuine concerns (or your husband does) maybe it's best to get an early intervention check/ evaluation. Free/cheap in all 50 states (maybe request a referral in Oregon since it takes a few weeks to get rolling). They can do a check to make sure LO is following an appropriate developmental curve & can provide low cost/ free therapy if warranted (pt, OT, ST). Our DD has ST and it's been great overall.

I would never tell you to second guess YOUR intuition, but keep in mind how well his doc knows him. I know our LO's ped has seen her for a grand total of 45 minutes her entire life, so I take his opinion while keeping that in mind.

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#8 of 11 Old 08-24-2013, 07:32 AM
 
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From my experience with toddlers (a lot of toddlers) the kids who later had issues were always the kids who would not look at you when you called his or her name.  Not that they will ALWAYS look at you, but most of the time, if you say "Alex", he or she will turn their head to see what you want or have.

 

All toddlers do THEIR things at their own time.  If they are physical, they will be climbing on everything, but not talking yet...if they are talkers, they are talking, but not climbing.  (just a generalization, this is not true for all children)

 

When my own daughter was a baby, I had my best friend move in.  Her son was 11 hours older than my daughter.  At 12 months, my daughter was talking.  Her son only grunted.  My daughter would sit on the floor for 30 minutes putting little tiny blocks into a bucket, then quietly dumping them out and putting them back again.  Her son would take the bucket and stomp through the house throwing the blocks.  (my daughter was horrified)  Her son could climb stairs, my daughter could not even walk yet.  Her son could swim, my daughter was afraid of the water.  Her son was out of the crib by 14 months, my daughter was barely getting her mattress lowered to the bottom setting.

 

Later after they had moved to another state, they came back for a visit.  My daughter could ride a two wheeler, tie her shoes, and spin on the monkey bars (four years old)  her son could ride a skateboard, only use velcro shoes, and jump from the very top of the monkey bars.  

 

Remember, toddlers have a personality all their own.  They are not super moldable as people might think they are.  They know what they like, they want to do things their own way, and they will often wait until it's their idea, not yours.  If you want to have pictures taken, they don't want pictures taken...but, if you don't want them in the picture, they want to be in it.  If  you want them to sit on the cute mechanical pony out in front of the grocery store, they cry..but, if you don't want to stop at that Pony, they want to stop and ride the pony.

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#9 of 11 Old 11-11-2013, 04:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Mamas for your kind caring replies.  I appreciate your support very much.  I'm very deeply grateful for this wonderful caring supportive network.  I think my biggest fear and yes I know fear is mostly of the unknown, but while I am mostly concerned and not worried, I'm always afraid that we will talk to the wrong doc who is very arrogant and close minded, pushes the vaccine thing and big pharma meds and will be far too scientific and matter of fact and scare my husband and me, but I realize that I need to make a strong effort to find a doc who is open minded, wise, and aware, and has a kind caring sense of humanity and cares about the parents as well as their child.  My dear husband and I have been thru a lot together and as new parents and the hospital where I gave birth to our dear son was very abusive and negligent and I have painful regret of ever setting foot there.  I try not to live with regret and learn from all the painful trauma and empower myself and do what I feel intuitively is best for me.  Now back to my original thought before I went off on a tangent, but I am venting and I feel the need to.  Our dear adorable wonderful son is now 20 months and is teething, he's quite the talking, though mostly jibberish and babbling, screams and vocalizes a lot, grabs and throws things, pulls our hair, squeezes my nipples and breasts, ugh, I can't stand that, but then again, I'm sure no Mommy can stand that...he eats well, loves Mommy's delicious cooking, gets happy and excited at his favorite programs on Sprout TV and smiles at Mommy and Daddy when they hug and kiss and he enjoys watching us do that.  He's very curious, loves to pick up items and study them very a very serious studious intent look, especially electronic gadgets...he puts everything in his mouth…he teethes on his teething toys…ok, sorry, I'm rambling a bit…I'm feeling very tired and stressed today and I'm going thru painful grief over my recent dear sweet beloved Mother's death this summer, so, I have a lot on my plate and I'm not able to think well…I forgot what else I was going to say, but I think what I wrote is good for now…ty for listening.


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#10 of 11 Old 11-12-2013, 12:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by earthwriter View Post

Thank you Mommies for your kind caring support.  I appreciate it very much.  What I can't stand are the "shoulds"..."he should be talking, he should be waving, he should be communicating with his Mommy and Daddy, he should be able to communicate with his peers by age 2"... I love my husband and I understand he's concerned, but I really don't want to be worrying about this now...while I respect science and doctors, they don't know everything and not everything is etched in stone, right?  I'm sure stress in the home doesn't help, but is there anything we can do to for lack of better words, intervene, and help him along and help him communicate better and help him develop better and quicker?  I know there are statistics and common behaviors and developing patterns that children should or need to be doing, but aren't there variables and is it so terrible if by certain ages and stages, a child is a little slower than most, and perhaps will catch up and develop and pick up speed later?  I mean, is everything black and white?  I know we're Mommies here and not doctors, but I really need to hear some common sense intuition and understanding and some positive encouragement and reinforcement.  I believe there is a time and place for things and sometimes you need a doctor and expert and other times, the Mommy simply needs to trust her intuition, but I admit I'm a little concerned, I just want to believe our little boy is fine and healthy.  He recently started walking, a little wobbly, but we're helping him practice, and he holds his Mommy and Daddy tight when we hold him and carry him and walk around.  He has his 18 month follow up in August or September and we'll see what his pediatrician says, but in his previous visit, the doctor said he's doing just fine and Daddy is worrying too much and he's growing and developing the way he needs to and he'll be just fine. Ok, I admit, I'm a bit concerned, but I want to hear that I'm worrying too much and there's no need to worry.  We want to socialize with other parents and their young children and we're looking for a meetup or Mommy and Me group that we feel comfortable and safe in.  Does socializing and interacting with other children his age help with his growing and development? Please don't laugh or scoff...it's an honest innocent question.  We're looking for an afternoon meetup because mornings are very difficult for us with Mommies who are organic and chemical free and mid-late 30s or older because we're in our late 40s and we'd love to find 1 with Mommies who don't drink anything caffeinated, but mature and organic nontoxic is a good start.  We currently live in OR  and we look forward to meeting like-minded Mommies and their children there very soon.  Thank you for listening.  I appreciate your kind caring support.


Mommy and me groups, especially AP ones help you figure out the wide range of normal. I was worried about DD not walking then another little boy her age wasn't walking either. His mama said that she heard that babies with long torsos can be later to walking due to the stomach muscles developing, not remembering the details, but hearing that she's not the only kid not walking made me feel better. They're just now starting to play together vs next to each other at 18-20 months. Seeing how different all the kids grow and develop helps so much.

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#11 of 11 Old 11-12-2013, 12:45 AM
 
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P.S. some of us crunchy mamas think coffee is a gift from the gods but we're crunchy enough for MAC, so maybe not so specific on that one. But definitely try meetup.com for a Attachment Parenting group.

DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

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