Rebellious toddler - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-10-2013, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really need some help here. I am a single mother of a 2 and a half year old boy. I have always been a single parent his dad is constantly in and out of his life. I have very little support from my family, they would rather tell me how the world runs than listen to my issues and help me resolve them in a way that I can.

My son has hit a very violent and rebellious phase and I have run out of ways to discipline effectively and it is only stressing me out to where I do not even want to be around him. If he does not get what he wants he will throw things or knock things over for example chairs, things on countertops and dressers. He has been fully potty trained for a year and has recently starting peeing or pooping either in his pant or on the floor when he does not get his way. He is defiant, will not listen to anything anyone tells him, has picked up words he will use against you for example his personal favorite "punk"... if he does something and gets away with it he will walk away and call me a punk.

I get so stressed I cry often either at night of I lock myself in the basement during the day. I don't know what else I can do. 

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#2 of 5 Old 07-11-2013, 04:20 AM
 
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I'm sorry you're going through this, and have a lack of support. That is so critical. Do you have friends with kids? If not, are you in a big enough town that you could go on meetup.com and find a playgroup to meet with? We all need support.

 

As for online support, I find this website very very useful. Chock full of great tips:

 

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers

 

Use the search function there to browse specific topics, but she has a lot about disciplining toddlers on there. I hope you can find something useful.

Just remember: this is a phase and it will pass....when you can find ways to support him lovingly and set clear limits. Perhaps he's hurting inside because his dad is so inconsistently there for him. Small children will take something like that inside themselves and think it's because they're not lovable (even if his dad loves him) and express themselves through (mis)behavior, because they don't have the sophiticated brain development to recognise and tell us how they're feeling.

 

I wish you the best of luck in finding support for yourself, so you can support your son.
 


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Multicultural living in Europe
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#3 of 5 Old 07-11-2013, 11:09 AM
 
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there is a single parenting section here on mdc that you may also find support from.

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#4 of 5 Old 07-11-2013, 11:49 AM
 
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Please know you are not alone in dealing with this!  Here is an article from the non-profit I work for that also has advice and tips for you:  http://bit.ly/18bUhOq

 

Hope you find this helpful!  Praying for you . . .

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#5 of 5 Old 07-13-2013, 04:24 PM
 
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hug2.gif I think a-ha parenting is going to save my relationship with my son (about to turn 3). I was sort of a single mom for 2 months due to DPs work schedule and the fact that we fought about it every. single. day. By text & chat because we didn't see each other at all. Seriously, I hid in the closet and cried on mother's day. Well, I cry almost every day, but it was mother's day! Anyway. I signed up for her newsletters, I follow on FB, and just recently I bought and am reading her book. Every day I have to start over emotionally. But what other choice is there?

My son is not quite to the level yours is, but he's enough. I hope you can find some support. Even if it's not someone you can actually talk to in person. I'm finding that getting out with another parent at least once a week to let DS run around the park (even though it's over 100 here) is absolutely essential. Yes, the undone laundry and destroyed kitchen and needing to still go grocery shopping makes me SUPER stressed. We won't even get into the fact that the floors and bathrooms etc never get cleaned. If we don't get the outside outlet our interactions are so bad that getting a little bit of chores done (cuz you can't get them all done when they are behaving that way) doesn't matter. We're just miserable.

I'm rambling. I know how you feel at least somewhat. I hope something I've said helps, even if it's just the hug.

Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (15).
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