Son is less cooperative with my husband - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 08-03-2013, 05:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi mamas,
I'm just wondering if any of you have experienced this?

My son is almost 20 months. Recently I've noticed that he is much less cooperative when my husband tries to help out e.g. dress him or take him for a nappy change etc. My son usually responds by whining, resisting and squirming to the ground. I think this could be a phase, but I'm wondering if any of you have advice for us. Or even whether there is anything helpful I can say to my DH, who has a tendency to be defensive, so I haven't said anything yet.

I suppose I respond by swooping in and taking on the job (putting on shoes, nappy, going to the car, etc) myself. That really probably reinforces my son's reaction doesn't it! It's just really hard. I take over, because I don't want to bicker with my DH, but me taking over is likely disempowering my DH in my sons eyes. Hmmmm.

More background is that I'm a SAHM, breastfeeding and cosleeping with son.

Any constructive advice is welcome.

Thanks
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#2 of 7 Old 08-03-2013, 09:05 AM
 
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We were in the same boat. Then I took a night class 5 hours a night 4 days a week for a month and they found their own rythm and ways of interacting with eachother. They do pretty good now (though my partner does not help with these thing often) they get along better and interact better now that they had no mama time together I think.
 

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#3 of 7 Old 08-05-2013, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you LLQ1011, I'm going to try to create more opportunities for mama free time. Thanks so much for sharing! :-D
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#4 of 7 Old 08-05-2013, 03:32 PM
 
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I second daddy time! At our place bathtime is daddy time every night and I honestly can't tell you when I bathed DD1 last. Daddy has taken it on and although doesn't do it the way I would, he gets her clean and she sees him being in charge of something. Is there some part of your DS's daily routine that DH could take over consistently?
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#5 of 7 Old 08-06-2013, 04:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you SCT, I really appreciate you joining in. Bathtime would work for us. It won't be an easy transition by any means, but you have planted the seed in my mind. I will have to make it a gradual shift in roles. I think it's a great idea. I needed the push from you both. Wish us luck! :-D
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#6 of 7 Old 08-06-2013, 05:46 AM
 
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Susanmary, we transitioned gradually too. First daddy simply joined us for baths then he gradually took over more and more as I stayed in the bathroom. Then I started to leave for part of the bath, next daddy could start the bath without me and finally I just wasn't needed and could put my feet up for a while. Good luck! I think the daily thing really helped DD see daddy as near-equal in parenting (lol it'll never be 100% equal for a 2 year old especially with a SAHM).
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#7 of 7 Old 08-06-2013, 01:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lol :-D :-D thank you! :-D :-D
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