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-   -   You know you're the parent of a toddler when . . . (http://www.mothering.com/forum/31-life-toddler/1388060-you-know-you-re-parent-toddler-when.html)

mamazee 08-10-2013 10:20 AM

Let's collect some funny things we've dealt with or remember as parents of toddlers.

You know you're the parent of a toddler when . ..

. . . you automatically put everything breakable or important on something higher than 3 feet.

. . . if you can't find your keys, you look in any available shoes first.

Share some of your own! smile.gif

craftymcgluestick 08-10-2013 06:00 PM

...you schedule all appointments after mentally adding in the hour to hour and a half it will take to get your kids dressed and in the car (and if lucky: fed and not screaming), in addition to traffic, etc.

dalia 08-10-2013 06:21 PM

You have to wash your child's things because the dog peed on them...and your dog's things because your child peed on them!!!

Ola_ 08-10-2013 07:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post

. . . you automatically put everything breakable or important on something higher than 3 feet.
 

Yes! Even at other people's houses I pretty much do a scan and start moving things as soon as we get there. I'm sure they have a great time rearranging things after we leave.

 

...you schedule all appointments and visits so that they don't interfere with nap time

...you need a big purse to carry the obligatory snack/drink/toy to distract with in


crunchymama19 08-10-2013 08:05 PM

You have strange rules in your house such as - "No throwing the cat at mommy."


LLQ1011 08-10-2013 11:09 PM

You get told no 5 times as much as you say it.

bruebee 08-10-2013 11:56 PM

You have to tell them no licking the dog, couch, reef tank, or mommy.

baltmom 08-11-2013 05:42 AM

...you slow down while driving past firehouses to look for firetrucks even when your toddler isn't in the car.

 

...you get all the way to work without realizing you never switched off the toddler CD after dropping your toddler off at preschool.


newmamalizzy 08-11-2013 08:26 AM

...you instinctively protect grown adults from swings at the park

skycheattraffic 08-11-2013 08:51 AM

Lol these are fabulous!!!

... When you start talking to your pets as if they were toddlers: "no thank you, kitty" or "I'll give you food in a minute, pumpkin"

... You and your spouse use toddler lingo in that precious hour of wakefulness after toddler bedtime

newmamalizzy 08-11-2013 09:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by skycheattraffic View Post

Lol these are fabulous!!!

... When you start talking to your pets as if they were toddlers: "no thank you, kitty" or "I'll give you food in a minute, pumpkin"

... You and your spouse use toddler lingo in that precious hour of wakefulness after toddler bedtime

 

And GD tactics during arguments! 


dalia 08-11-2013 09:21 AM

You ask the cashier at the store where the potty is even if your toddler isn't with you.

Katie8681 08-11-2013 09:53 AM

...it no longer occurs to you to close the door to the bathroom when you "go potty".

skycheattraffic 08-11-2013 10:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie8681 View Post

...it no longer occurs to you to close the door to the bathroom when you "go potty".

... At other people's houses lol

kitteh 08-11-2013 11:18 AM

...you can't relax at yoga class due to the anxiety produced by seeing all of the electrical outlets without safety plugs in them. Even though the toddler in question is at home with daddy.

susanmary 08-12-2013 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by baltmom View Post

...you slow down while driving past firehouses to look for firetrucks even when your toddler isn't in the car.


Haha ... rings so true :-D

Catholic Mama 08-19-2013 02:45 PM

...you sit with her for 10+ minutes in the bathroom waiting for her to do something into the toilet, and smell poop in her diaper 1 minute after you put it on.


rainface 08-19-2013 07:58 PM

You have uttered the statements "mommy gets to pee too" and "the cat is not for licking", also, you accidentally tell your coworkers you're hungry and need to go get "bites".

InspiredCT 08-20-2013 03:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyMama19 View Post

You have strange rules in your house such as - "No throwing the cat at mommy."

HAHAHA! 


mama amie 08-20-2013 04:20 PM

... You sing the Happy Birthday song twice each time you wash your hands, to be sure you washed long enough.

... You panic at the absence of your child in the grocery cart before you remember she's in the carrier right on your chest.

GiftingTraveler 08-30-2013 10:33 AM

...it gets eerily silent. That means trouble!


Catholic Mama 09-01-2013 05:38 AM

you've learned that right when you finally sit down is when you're most needed.


Irielyn 09-01-2013 07:15 AM

you decide to do a few dishes while hes happily playing with his train tracks...then return not but 3 minutes later to find him coloring his penis blue with an ink pen.......(not fun to wash off)


kblackstone444 09-03-2013 07:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irielyn View Post
 

you decide to do a few dishes while hes happily playing with his train tracks...then return not but 3 minutes later to find him coloring his penis blue with an ink pen.......(not fun to wash off)

 

Sounds like something my little one would do... and thankfully hasn't thought of it yet!  lol


Nancy424 09-05-2013 02:23 AM

You get to chase your child around the house. You keep on arranging the books on the shelf since our kids keep on getting them. You tend to watch Barney or any other cartoons with them :)!

 

Beautiful life it is :)!


Magali 09-05-2013 04:45 AM

Special things that have been kept in good condition for years are now either broken, misplaced or grimy.


Magali 09-05-2013 04:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catholic Mama View Post
 

you've learned that right when you finally sit down is when you're most needed.

Oh yes!  I made a rule last night.  When I sit down to eat, no one is allowed to ask me for anything, unless it's an emergency.


livelovelaughbe 09-05-2013 05:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CraftyMcGluestick View Post

...you schedule all appointments after mentally adding in the hour to hour and a half it will take to get your kids dressed and in the car (and if lucky: fed and not screaming), in addition to traffic, etc.

livelovelaughbe 09-05-2013 05:46 AM

I must have been doing this subconsciously for 18 years.

skycheattraffic 09-05-2013 06:23 AM

You hear ANY wet noise (cat drinking, breast milk squirting into the pump, etc) and you jump up with a rag and a pair of undies to clean up kiddo and the rug


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