You know you're the parent of a toddler when . . . - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Let's collect some funny things we've dealt with or remember as parents of toddlers.

You know you're the parent of a toddler when . ..

. . . you automatically put everything breakable or important on something higher than 3 feet.

. . . if you can't find your keys, you look in any available shoes first.

Share some of your own! smile.gif
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#2 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 06:00 PM
 
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...you schedule all appointments after mentally adding in the hour to hour and a half it will take to get your kids dressed and in the car (and if lucky: fed and not screaming), in addition to traffic, etc.

Mary, proud to be a mama to Andrew (9/14/10) and Caroline (7/27/13) and wife to Matt.
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#3 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 06:21 PM
 
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You have to wash your child's things because the dog peed on them...and your dog's things because your child peed on them!!!
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#4 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 07:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post

. . . you automatically put everything breakable or important on something higher than 3 feet.
 

Yes! Even at other people's houses I pretty much do a scan and start moving things as soon as we get there. I'm sure they have a great time rearranging things after we leave.

 

...you schedule all appointments and visits so that they don't interfere with nap time

...you need a big purse to carry the obligatory snack/drink/toy to distract with in

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#5 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 08:05 PM
 
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You have strange rules in your house such as - "No throwing the cat at mommy."


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#6 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 11:09 PM
 
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You get told no 5 times as much as you say it.
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#7 of 66 Old 08-10-2013, 11:56 PM
 
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You have to tell them no licking the dog, couch, reef tank, or mommy.
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#8 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 05:42 AM
 
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...you slow down while driving past firehouses to look for firetrucks even when your toddler isn't in the car.

 

...you get all the way to work without realizing you never switched off the toddler CD after dropping your toddler off at preschool.

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#9 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 08:26 AM
 
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...you instinctively protect grown adults from swings at the park
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#10 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 08:51 AM
 
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Lol these are fabulous!!!

... When you start talking to your pets as if they were toddlers: "no thank you, kitty" or "I'll give you food in a minute, pumpkin"

... You and your spouse use toddler lingo in that precious hour of wakefulness after toddler bedtime
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#11 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 09:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by skycheattraffic View Post

Lol these are fabulous!!!

... When you start talking to your pets as if they were toddlers: "no thank you, kitty" or "I'll give you food in a minute, pumpkin"

... You and your spouse use toddler lingo in that precious hour of wakefulness after toddler bedtime

 

And GD tactics during arguments! 

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#12 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 09:21 AM
 
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You ask the cashier at the store where the potty is even if your toddler isn't with you.
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#13 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 09:53 AM
 
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...it no longer occurs to you to close the door to the bathroom when you "go potty".

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#14 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 10:32 AM
 
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...it no longer occurs to you to close the door to the bathroom when you "go potty".

... At other people's houses lol
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#15 of 66 Old 08-11-2013, 11:18 AM
 
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...you can't relax at yoga class due to the anxiety produced by seeing all of the electrical outlets without safety plugs in them. Even though the toddler in question is at home with daddy.

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#16 of 66 Old 08-12-2013, 12:52 AM
 
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Originally Posted by baltmom View Post

...you slow down while driving past firehouses to look for firetrucks even when your toddler isn't in the car.


Haha ... rings so true :-D
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#17 of 66 Old 08-19-2013, 02:45 PM
 
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...you sit with her for 10+ minutes in the bathroom waiting for her to do something into the toilet, and smell poop in her diaper 1 minute after you put it on.


May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#18 of 66 Old 08-19-2013, 07:58 PM
 
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You have uttered the statements "mommy gets to pee too" and "the cat is not for licking", also, you accidentally tell your coworkers you're hungry and need to go get "bites".
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#19 of 66 Old 08-20-2013, 03:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CrunchyMama19 View Post

You have strange rules in your house such as - "No throwing the cat at mommy."

HAHAHA! 


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#20 of 66 Old 08-20-2013, 04:20 PM
 
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... You sing the Happy Birthday song twice each time you wash your hands, to be sure you washed long enough.

... You panic at the absence of your child in the grocery cart before you remember she's in the carrier right on your chest.
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#21 of 66 Old 08-30-2013, 10:33 AM
 
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...it gets eerily silent. That means trouble!

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#22 of 66 Old 09-01-2013, 05:38 AM
 
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you've learned that right when you finally sit down is when you're most needed.

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May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#23 of 66 Old 09-01-2013, 07:15 AM
 
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you decide to do a few dishes while hes happily playing with his train tracks...then return not but 3 minutes later to find him coloring his penis blue with an ink pen.......(not fun to wash off)

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#24 of 66 Old 09-03-2013, 07:51 PM
 
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you decide to do a few dishes while hes happily playing with his train tracks...then return not but 3 minutes later to find him coloring his penis blue with an ink pen.......(not fun to wash off)

 

Sounds like something my little one would do... and thankfully hasn't thought of it yet!  lol


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#25 of 66 Old 09-05-2013, 02:23 AM
 
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You get to chase your child around the house. You keep on arranging the books on the shelf since our kids keep on getting them. You tend to watch Barney or any other cartoons with them :)!

 

Beautiful life it is :)!

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#26 of 66 Old 09-05-2013, 04:45 AM
 
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Special things that have been kept in good condition for years are now either broken, misplaced or grimy.

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#27 of 66 Old 09-05-2013, 04:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Catholic Mama View Post
 

you've learned that right when you finally sit down is when you're most needed.

Oh yes!  I made a rule last night.  When I sit down to eat, no one is allowed to ask me for anything, unless it's an emergency.


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#28 of 66 Old 09-05-2013, 05:45 AM
 
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...you schedule all appointments after mentally adding in the hour to hour and a half it will take to get your kids dressed and in the car (and if lucky: fed and not screaming), in addition to traffic, etc.
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#29 of 66 Old 09-05-2013, 05:46 AM
 
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I must have been doing this subconsciously for 18 years.
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#30 of 66 Old 09-05-2013, 06:23 AM
 
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You hear ANY wet noise (cat drinking, breast milk squirting into the pump, etc) and you jump up with a rag and a pair of undies to clean up kiddo and the rug
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