pouting and whining?! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 08-21-2013, 08:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a 2.5 year old dd who goes through these days where she does nothing but whine and pout about everything. When she does this I realize that she is seeking my attention, so what we do is talk about how she is feeling (she is very articulate), and then I try to help her find a solution. i try to make sure im giving her positive responses for positive actions, and I tend to ignore some of the negative things she does to try and get a reaction. Most days this works and she adjusts her behavior. But then there are days like today.... as I am doing things around the house I am involving her, she doesn't listen, and therefore she doesn't get to help anymore. She pouts and whines, we talk about what happened to make her upset, and I redirect her. She asks me to play with her, so I do, and she starts to act up again. Its like she is sabotaging herself! So I change tactics and I explain that maybe she is feeling cranky and she needs to go sit quietly for a few minutes. We do t really do time out, because she started putting herself I time out and it became part of the game. So she goes and sits and comes back, we talk about it, and immediately she starts in again. Pouting, exclaiming that she is so sad/ upset/ disappointed, and throwing things while looking my way to gage my reaction. this cycle has gone one for almost two hours now... sometimes it can go on for a whole afternoon. I'm trying not to ignore her feelings, but at the same time im trying not to let the behavior continue. Anyone have a kid like this? What can I do differently?
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#2 of 8 Old 08-23-2013, 10:07 AM
 
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My 3 year old (on Sunday) does this. Totally normal, I hear it will pass but not any time soon. I just deal with it until it's too much and they I tell her I'm not interested in being with her if she's going to act like that and just ignore her. She'll eventually come up and hug me and say sorry -or- she will run off and play on her own. Either one works!
 

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#3 of 8 Old 08-27-2013, 06:22 PM
 
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Check out this article by one of my favorite early childhood development people, Janet Lansbury. Her stuff rocks!
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/


and another article on whining that I think is fantastic too!
http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/07/24/why-whining-is-a-win-2/


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#4 of 8 Old 08-27-2013, 09:53 PM
 
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Perhaps your routine should include outdoor or group activities at playgrounds, 2's classes, story hour at the library, climbing, running, etc.... It sounds like she is bored and her mind is looping around, so she resorts to bugging you because that has more excitement, then, say, coloring in her corner/room? I am not sure, but going outside, exploring parks, water, animals, on everyday basis should help. 

Every single day I find that after breakfast and some playtime such as drawing, book time, etc. unless I take DD outside, things start to go stir-crazy very fast. So our daily routine includes an outdoor activity between 10am and 12pm. Or sometimes longer/shorter. Then lunch, and then another usually after the afternoon nap, a shorter one. It makes all the difference.

A schedule like that does not leave too much time for whining because there is some place to get to, something to do. Can be exhausting for the caregiver, but that is what toddlers need, I feel, to get tired from exploring. 


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#5 of 8 Old 08-28-2013, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses! Those are good articles, I sometimes need a reminder to keep myself calm and not reactionary! As far as activities go, we try to have something going on most days, whether its an outing like the library or just playing in the yard. But there are days when Things have to get done around the house, or I just need a down day smile.gif. plus, I am 8 months pregnant and I'm starting to find it difficult to constantly be on the go to entertain her!

Also, I feel that kids need to learn to entertain themselves sometimes. I remember being whiny and sent away to Play on my own as a kid, and I think it did me good! My daughter is a lot like me in the way that she doesn't like to entertain herself so I sympathize with her, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have yo learn to enjoy playing alone sometimes.

I have also noticed that she is very whiny in the am sometimes, and I think that is from getting up too early. But I haven't figured out how to solve that one yet either smile.gif
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#6 of 8 Old 08-28-2013, 11:50 AM
 
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I'm glad you found the articles useful. Janet Lansbury has other great posts about fostering independent play (she's all about that) in babies & young children.

No entertaining necessary! http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/05/stop-entertaining-your-toddler-in-3-steps-2/

 

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/11/7-myths-that-discourage-independent-play/


 

Since you're new one is almost here... http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/08/new-baby-helping-our-good-kids-express-hard-feelings/

 

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/04/helping-kids-adjust-to-life-with-the-new-baby/

 

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/07/the-glorious-freedom-of-a-capable-child/

 

I'll stop now winky.gif She just has so much great information!! Hope it's inspiring and not overwhelming love.gif

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#7 of 8 Old 08-29-2013, 06:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses! Those are good articles, I sometimes need a reminder to keep myself calm and not reactionary! As far as activities go, we try to have something going on most days, whether its an outing like the library or just playing in the yard. But there are days when thongs have to get done around the house, or I just need a down day smile.gif plus, I am 8 months pregnant and I'm starting to find it difficult to constantly be on the go to entertain her! Also, I feel that kids need to learn to entertain themselves sometimes. I remember being whiny and sent away to Play on my own as a kid, and I think it did me good! My daughter is a lot like me in the way that she doesn't like to entertain herself so I sympathize with her, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have yo learn to enjoy playing alone sometimes.

I have also noticed that she is very whiny in the am sometimes, and I think that is from getting up too early. But I haven't figured out how to solve that one yet either smile.gif
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#8 of 8 Old 09-06-2013, 07:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prescottchels View Post
 

Check out this article by one of my favorite early childhood development people, Janet Lansbury. Her stuff rocks!
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/


and another article on whining that I think is fantastic too!
http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/07/24/why-whining-is-a-win-2/

These are great, thanks for sharing.


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