Just venting about my 3YO whos figured me out - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 08-23-2013, 10:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a very bright and rambunctious 3YO DS that loves being active. Unfortunately we end up leaving fun places kicking and screaming. I thought we turned a corner he responded well to 20min warning followed by an alarm set on my cell phone and a transitional place/event I.e watch trains, bake cookies etc. Today he called my bluff refused to leave I had my infant in his carrier. One handed dragged my 3Yo on the ground he refused to leave the place was closing up. I'm just venting I want this part of my life to be over.
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#2 of 4 Old 08-23-2013, 05:14 PM
 
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Well, was it really a bluff? Or did you end up leaving? If you ended up leaving when you said you would (even if it was an ugly exit) then I wouldn't say he has "figured you out." I would say you're doing the right thing and that it's just a really yucky phase to go through. Sorry you're dealing with this!
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#3 of 4 Old 08-23-2013, 05:24 PM
 
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I can totally relate! It's really frustrating knowing you'll face an intense struggle at the end of every outing. DS (3 1/2) is the same way. I try to give him plenty of warnings about transitions but a lot of the time I end up bribing him, which I feel terrible about, or carrying him out screaming. Parks, the pool, friends' houses....we've made less-than-graceful exits just about everywhere for the past year. Not sure how else to handle it, but I definitely sympathize!

~may all beings be free from suffering~
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#4 of 4 Old 09-01-2013, 09:36 PM
 
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This is us if my 2.5 yo gets even a little tired. It's so hard. Sometimes I remember to remind my DD that I know she can do it (exit peacefully). This seems to help her shift her focus from fighting me on getting in her stroller / from the fact that we are leaving, and helps her focus on the challenge of doing what I need her to do. So the act of leaving becomes less about what she is leaving behind and more about how she leaves it. Does that make sense? I say things like: ok, it's time to go. I know it's hard and you don't want to leave, but I think you can do it. I know you can do it! I think you can cooperate! Show me how you sit in your stroller. Great! I am so proud of you! I knew you could do it! That was great cooperation. You are really helping me by climbing into your stroller peacefully. Thank you! (Hugs, kisses, high fives like she scored a goal in the world cup).

I do sound crazy in public, but it sure beats the alternative.

When I don't show how irritated I am, this approach works like a charm. But sometimes I get frazzled and forget and then we have quite a scene on our hands. I think kids who do this tend to be pretty intense, driven, goal-oriented people, and so I decided to try to tap into that. DH is very intense and driven and he has noted that DD seems to have an extra gear. It is so challenging to channel this kind of energy positively, but I have to hope that somewhere down the line this extra gear will work to their advantage. Let's hope so!
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