"Let's not cuddle the pastrami."
"Put your dress back on and stop putting fish in your belly button!" - said to my 3 yo during dinner.
Stop hitting your sister with the spatula! Here, why don't you play with the sword?
We are potty training right now and spending a lot of time sans pants. If I had a nickel for every time I've said the phrase "The ___ (koosh ball, pair of shorts, telescope, whatever) doesn't go on your vulva"...
"Please take the Altoid out of your butt."
He did. Then he ate it.
"Stop chasing the robot!" We had a roomba. ;)
"No sir, we do not color on the dog." Ds was painting.
"We do not put our heads in the toilet when it's flushing...or ever!"
"Here, this peach tastes better than that license plate."
"The cat doesn't want you to pick his nose."
Don't lick the doorknobs!
Stop trying to fart on your sister!
Do NOT put Lego up your nose! Or in your ear! Or in your pants!
Hey! You may not hit me with your head!
To DD during dinner: "don't lick my plate!"
While trying to get her to put on her pull-up: " no you may not put the bib in your vulva, now put on the fudging diaper!!!" We are all about no profanity around here.
No peeing on the welcome mat, please!
You are *not* going in my tummy again! You are *not* yummy! I am *not* going to eat you!
"Please stop putting the recycling sticker on the dog's head".
no, I will not give you my drivers licence. these blueberries are better than my hairspray. no you may not eat that invoice!
"The cat does not like to play horsey. Get off!"
"Actually, you DO have to cover your penis before the pizza man gets here."
"You get back here with Mommy's placenta pills. RIGHT. NOW!!!!"
I have now called my 19 month old son by my youngest sister's name, twice. I have no excuse, as she's now 18 years old!
I am tempted to do that often, but mercifully, haven't done it yet! I've almost called my first son, secondborn my younger brother's name and my second son, thirdborn my second brother (also thirdborn)'s name.
I had something for this thread in the last day or two but didn't have time to dig up the thread. If it comes back to me I'll come back and post it.
please stop sucking your sisters diaper. please stop sucking your diaper. please stop sicking my underpants. ARE YOU TEETHING OR WHAT?!?
yes, you do have to pee in the potty. no not on the doormat. NO, NOT on the kitchen floor. NO NOT ON THE FUDGING HIGHCHAIR, THE POOOOOTTTYYY!!!
Mac & Cheese does not go in your ear!
These are great!!!
"No smushing lima beans on mama's records."
do NOT strangle the goat!
you have to let go of the goats ear (at a friend's farm)
no, you may not have a cow's horn
do not suck the cat's tail, he does not like that, STOP IT!!
please please PLEASE give back mommy's dirty breast pads Olivia!
no, you may not drive on the way home, Jacob.
here, these grapes taste better than that sock.