Teaching appropriate boundaries with a 17 mth old - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 2 Old 10-15-2013, 10:32 AM - Thread Starter
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I have a very outgoing and curious 17 mth old who is very affectionate, especially with his older brother, which is very sweet, however, he tends to hug and kiss rather aggressively even when his brother doesn't want him to. He also uses objects to hit DS1 (cars, books, etc) which is definitely not ok. We're trying to teach ODS to ask him to stop, or move away if he doesn't want the baby to touch him, but the baby continues to follow him around try to touch him.  I have tried moving DS2 away and telling him that DS1 doesn't want a hug right now, but he goes back to him.  DS1 isn't quite old enough (4) to get the concept of ignoring someone's behaviour in order to make it stop, and I don't know that I want to set that precedent really when it comes to unwanted touching-I definitely want him to speak up for himself in that instance.  As for the hitting with toys, I try to move DS2 to somewhere where he can bang the toy (couch, toy table etc) but he continues to try and hit people with it.  I end up taking it away, after letting him know I will do that if he keeps hitting with it, but I'm not sure he understands why.  I'm wondering what some effective strategies are for dealing with this kind of behaviour in a young toddler, and how to teach appropriate boundaries with it comes to touching others and personal space.

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#2 of 2 Old 10-15-2013, 07:08 PM
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Taking the object away is good.  Removing DS1 wouldn't be my first choice - I'd make the little man move away.  You don't want him to think his actions are controlling the show so because he's in the wrong, he has to leave, maybe take him into another room with you to distract him.  We've only got the one LO but at that age she was hitting the dogs more and more and I would make her leave the room.  It wasn't fair to ask the dogs to leave all the time and she needed to see that she was wrong, not the dogs.  I can also tell you from personal perspective as an older sibling myself, your DS1 will appreciate it in the long run if he's not being asked to accommodate his little bro all the time, and equally your DS2 will learn to appreciate the independence this will give him.

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