New baby and awful transition for two year old :( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 10-16-2013, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Deleted for lack of reader response. I posted looking for support, not to entertain lurkers.

chicken3.gif mama to two teens and two tots partners.gif madly in love with DP guitar.gif

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#2 of 13 Old 10-17-2013, 07:57 PM
 
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I'm sorry you didn't get a response :( That happens to me sometimes. From the title it sounds like you are dealing with some really hard stuff. I hope that you have good support and things ease up for you soon. I know one of my friends has a very hard transition with her kids that were similar ages. :Hug mama.


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#3 of 13 Old 10-17-2013, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you smile.gif

I wrote a long post and got my feelings hurt when there were a bunch of views but no response. I don't always respond to what I read, so I shouldn't expect everyone else to, but it's been a rough couple of days and I was grouchy.

I'm sure we'll make it work, I'm just feeling bad about how hard this transition has been for my 2 year old DS. Thanks again for your kind words.

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#4 of 13 Old 10-18-2013, 01:42 AM
 
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I swear I responded to this thread. Maybe I typed it out and then got called by a small person before I pressed reply :-(

Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012  mdcblog5.gif

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#5 of 13 Old 10-18-2013, 05:53 PM
 
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I didn't see your post before you deleted it. I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. If you want to post again about some of the issues you're having, I'm happy to see if I can offer suggestions or at the. Dry least some hugs.
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#6 of 13 Old 10-20-2013, 11:15 AM
 
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I also didn't see this thread until these responses have bumped it -- maybe it got lost in the shuffle. Hoping things are improving for you and your little family. Be gentle with each other and take things slow. It's a big transition for all of you.


Mama to J, born 9/4/2012. Some of the things we are into: co-sleeping, breastfeeding, & the Montessori method.

 

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#7 of 13 Old 10-20-2013, 11:53 AM
 
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I am watching this post, not because I have advice, but rather we will be having our second child soon and wondering how my 2 yr old might respond to it.  I am hoping some others with multiple children will share some stories or some advice.  Thanks for posting this question.  :)

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#8 of 13 Old 10-20-2013, 12:37 PM
 
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I have a 23 monthold and just had my son 7 days ago. It has not been a joy ride. My DD is pretty stressed and upset by his arrival and is crying, screaming, throwing fits. All things she's never done before. Getting into things while im nursing or changing the baby. Falling down and crying etc...im watching this post for advice too.
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#9 of 13 Old 10-20-2013, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My baby is one month old today, and it's been a rough month for my 2 year old DS. My older kids (teenagers now) are 25 months apart so I knew from experience to expect a difficult transition, but this has been even harder than I was prepared for.

DS1 is very strong willed and "spirited", but until recently he's generally has a happy disposition so even when he's been a challenge he's bounced back quickly. Now that's all been turned on its ear. He is having tantrum after tantrum and resisting almost everything, all day long. It's exhausting. A couple of times last week I lost my patience and yelled at him and treated him more harshly than I want to. DP and I have been arguing more lately, too, sometimes very bad and sometimes in front of DS. He's also seen me just cry and cry on a couple of occasions.

I think he's got to be confused and insecure because of all the stress and transition, and I know what he really needs is for us to remain calm, loving, and consistent, now more than ever, but that's been hard to achieve.

This weekend we have had family in town and it has been so wonderful to have the extra help. I hope it's been a good infusion of happiness that will carry over into next week so we can have a fresh start.

I don't really know what I was hoping for in posting here- maybe just some encouragement and some btdt stories smile.gif
I've btdt, too, but apparently it's been long enough that I didn't realize just how hard it would be to do it again! I mean, I knew intellectually, but I wasn't emotionally prepared...
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#10 of 13 Old 10-20-2013, 04:36 PM
 
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The first two months with a newborn and 2 yo we're very hard for us greensad.gif What helped was spending as much one on one time that I could with DS2. Had to be me, not DH. Letting DS1 play in the sink, with play doh, at the museum, things he loved, while I took care if DS2 helped. Letting ds1 play outside as much as possible.

In the end, all I can say is yes, it's hard greensad.gif But you will survive and so will your elder LO. I was more worried about the transition than I needed to be because really, only time could fix it for us. Love on your babies, get out of the house, embrace your elder LO, smile and drink coffee and know things will get better.

At 2 months my sweet ds1 returned to his normal(ish) self. At 6 months postpartum I had gotten control of my life again. At 11 months pp, we are in an awesome rhythm. Parenting is fun and challenging and delightful though still frustrating at times wink1.gif

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#11 of 13 Old 11-05-2013, 10:15 AM
 
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Ditto. It was hard here too. Doesn't help that DS1 is suuuuuch a mamas boy. Lots of acting out and whining and me not getting any sleep did NOT help. Took a few months for the dust to settle. After the intensity of the newborn period dies down, it will get better. Not the same as it was, but doable.
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#12 of 13 Old 11-07-2013, 10:58 AM
 
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We are in that transition now... Dd1 is 28 months and dd2 is 2 weeks. My mom is here to help but we still have a lot of boundary pushing, fits, whining. My ? Is how have y'all handled the acting out? Do u discipline it (and how?) or ignore it? Before talking to my daughter Abd having her apologize fixed issues every time but not since her sisters been born. It's frustrating and I feel like a mean tired mommy a lot. I miss my sweet toddler afb know it's got to be tough on her.
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#13 of 13 Old 11-07-2013, 12:31 PM
 
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Thinking of all of you. We will soon have a sibling for our 2 year old. Hope you get more helpful anecdotes!
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