Am I doing the right thing? RE meals with toddler - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
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My dd is almost 17 months. She is still bf-almost 100%, by her choice-I nurse her whenever she askes and at night.

Each day, I put her in her high chair with some food when I eat-most days she eats 1 or 2 bites, and begins to throw the rest on the floor or put it in her hair. When she does this, I take her food away and give her something to play with. Usually then she starts fussing and flaling around until I take her down. Then she asks to nurse, or just wants to sit on my lap, which I let her do.
I am frustrated that she won't eat. I also try to feed her while she is walking around or while she is watching tv-I hate to do this, but sometimes she will eat a bit more that way. Mostly though, she puts food in her mouth, says mmmmm, chews it and spits it out. I am not sure what this is about. I try not to m ake a big deal out of it, and i never punish her for it. I remain calm and tell her we don't do that and leave it at that.

She is healthy, and growing with her bm diet and I am fine with nursing her still, I guess I just would like her to nurse a bit less and be responsible for a bit more of her own eating! IS this too much to ask of a 17month old?

Thanks for you help and advice!
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#2 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 03:38 PM
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I don't have great advice...but my DS is one month older than your dd and he does exactly the same maybe it's normal for a breastfed kid??? I guess that's the assumption I am making. He will take a bite or two MAYBE, sometimes none and occasionally a little more. I guess I'm counting on this changing someday when he's older.

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#3 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 03:48 PM
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It can be frustrating. How often does your dd nurse during the day? DS is 15 months and has starting eating more real food over the past month, but it hasn't really changed the frequency of his nursing. It doesn't seem to be hunger-related for him. He just has hungry and non-hungry days.

I don't have a lot of advice other than to keep offering it. Since she does eat a little it doesn't seem to be a physiological problem - just sounds like she prefers booby at this point. I'm sure it will improve gradually.

Kudos to you for sticking with the nursing and giving her such a nutritious diet
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#4 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 04:04 PM
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He's always hated eating his solid food- always. He's 13 months now and is a preemie and still is skinny at 18.9lbs. I don't have a bit of advice for you but I can commiserate! I now offer him like 6 meals in his high chair. He mostly just feeds it to the dogs or throws it on the floor. In between that time I chase him around with a bowl of high-fat food like avacado or cottage cheese or yogurt and get spoonsfuls in like that all day long. I also give him a tsp of flax oil each day and his vitamins. And at least once a day I attempt to shove a tsp of almond or cashew butter into him... It's work isn't it? My carpet leaves a lot to be desired as the cottage cheese curds really stick in there... and my dogs are FAT.

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#5 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 04:53 PM
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My dd is almost 17 mos and is very similar. My MIL thinks I should sit her down at the table so she will eat, but she eats more food when she is on the go. The way I figure, if the kid is healthy, let'em do what their instincts dictate is best. Also, dd went through a phase where she only wanted to eat bread all day and she would eat a ton as long as it was available. Then she got sick of that and moved to pasta. Now hse getting better about fruits and veggies. It was so difficult to go through the processed carb phase, but now she is back to eating tons of fruits and veggies again. It was hard to trust her but I did and she's okay.
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#6 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 05:37 PM
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Thank you for posting this! My 16 month old DD is the same exact way. She only wants her "ta tas". And she barely wants to eat anything but oatmeal. I give her vitamins but it's so hard to get her to eat solids. I feel better now.

If I wean her will she eat more? That's not such a good idea right? She should wean naturally right? I'm confused. But I want her to gain some weight! BTW, she's perfectly healthy and smart as a whip.

I really try to trust her instincts, but it's hard.....

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#7 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 05:57 PM
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lol, DS is still like this and he's turning 2. There are days he wants to eat and if he asks for something, I'll give it to him (if it's something good ), but he'll have stretches of days where he just wants to nurse. I just give him food at mealtimes and offer him snacks; if he wants it good, if not, that's fine too. A lot of the time when I give him food, he just plays with it. IMO, as long as they're growing, active, healthy and filling their diapers, things are ok.
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#8 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 06:20 PM
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Faithjd- Someone said this to me once and it really put things in perspective..."why would I (you, me, whoever) wean the baby so he would eat more hot dogs??!!" YOur breastmilk is the best thing nutrition-wise. I think once ds weans I'll worry a ton more about him getting everything he needs, even though I'm sure he'll be eating more regular food then!
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#9 of 11 Old 04-28-2004, 08:16 PM
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My oldest didn't eat much- mostly nursed- until 18 months when she started eating a lot. I've heard this is very common with bf babies.

Being right is not always fair, but being fair is always right
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#10 of 11 Old 04-29-2004, 10:08 AM
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My feeling has always been (and I recently found out that there are studies to back this up!) that if you present a child with healthy food choices, they will not starve themselves or become malnourished. It sounds like your daughter is doing just fine on her diet -- I bet that when her body starts to need more nutrition from food, she'll start eating more of it. I would only be worried if she weren't gaining weight or looked ill or dehydrated, but it sounds like she's doing just fine!
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#11 of 11 Old 04-29-2004, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Bethkm
"why would I (you, me, whoever) wean the baby so he would eat more hot dogs??!!"
:LOL Thanks so much for posting this, it really helps put things into perspective.

DS is 13 months and is probably 80-90% bf'd. Sometimes he'll eat what I'd consider a "good meal" (both in size and nutrition), but usually meal time consists of chewing and spitting out. Last week I got together with a friend who has a 15 month old, and MAN can this kid eat! He was putting away cottage cheese and peaches like nobody's business, huge bites and chewing with abandon! I was like , I forgot some kids can eat like that! LOL.

One of my concerns is with how much to give him of what he will eat. He'll eat as much cheese, noodles, and bread as I give him, but how much is too much? Its frustrating to see him pick at vegetables and fruit and not really consume anything when I know he'll eat if I give him what he likes. I'm just trusting my instincts that BM is complete and he gets all he really needs from that, but its still difficult to rationalize, yk? Doesn't help much when people tell me to stop nursing so he'll eat more, or tell me to give him PB&J or cookies all day just so he'll be eating SOMEthing.
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