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How to wash children's head while he hates this to say the least?

741 views 11 replies 10 participants last post by  Tigerle 
#1 ·
My toddler doesn't like to wash his head and starts shout and cry when feels water or shampoo foam on it. But he likes to bathe and play in water very much.
 
#3 ·
I wait until he's in a good mood, then I offer a lollipop! Sound's terrible, I know. But I think my guy has sensory issues and this helps him get through it.

I fill the bath only with a little water, then I have him laying down in the tub and the water level is only up to his ears (not IN his ears). Then I tell him to look at the ceiling and I pretend there is something up there. Wash, rinse all done in 30 seconds or less!

-Oh he gets the lollipop AFTER the washing. I sit it on the ledge of the tub and he knows he is going to get it.
 
#4 ·
Sometimes I wash my toddler's hair outside of the tub...I have organic shampoo that is very non-toxic and I "rinse" with a washcloth (You can research what shampoos are the least harmful on the Skin Deep part of ewg.org). It takes 10 times of going back to the sink to rinse the soap off of the cloth and rewet it, but it's easier to deal with than a screaming boy in the tub.
 
#6 ·
My DD goes through phases, usually bc water has rolled down her face, not even in her eyes, and she will then refuse hair washing for a while. I practice numbers with her and have her count how many times she wants me to rinse or just limit it to the back of her head not the top. I prob only wash her hair once a week, the rest is just running some water over it and for now that works. As her hair gets thicker and longer I'll work on her more!
 
#8 ·
Mine have sensory issues too but i had always felt that they worked one another into a habit of screaming like pigs being slaughtered that was way exaggerated. I am superfast, they barely get water on their faces and the shampoo we use truly does not sting in the eyes- ive tried it out in my own eyes, undiluted, in front of them! (The things we do for love...). At public places, complete strangers would leave their shower stalls to reprove my children for the atrocious noise they were making. They truly were criticizing them, not my parenting, possibly i appeared to be so obviously loving but firm and reasonable - i could not think about what else to do except carry on being loving but firm and reasonable and carry on shampooing and rinsing their hair while they were completely out of control.
i was beginning to think those strangers might have a point when i happened to read Kazdins "parenting the defiant child" because it had come recommended somewhere. I read it expecting to keep shaking my head at mindless "punishment and rewards" behaviorism. Instead, his descriptions of teaching children how to act reasonably and purposefully by "shaping", creating positive pathways by motivating children with rewards to train the positive behaviour step by step, then phasing out the rewards within two weeks at the latest, suddenly resonated with me.
So i took a heavy handed approach, i was so fed up with the drama: the next time we were at the pool i told them they could earn themselves ice cream by letting me wash their hair without screaming. If either of them made a fuss- no ice cream for both. Mean, i know. But, to my utter surprise completely effective. Next time, i reminded them i knew they could do it - and so did they.
we havent needed ice cream rewards since. They still dont like it but we can go througj basic hygiene routines wthout them screaming the house down. I see it like thing1thing2: the reward helped them cope, knowing they could cope helped them do it again.
 
#10 ·
I'm wondering if actually he hates the sensation of warm water pouring down his face. Sometimes when childrens' noses might be stduffed dup, that's when they would become irritable when having to breathe through their mouths instead. I hated my mother washing my hair, though she used an elasticated peak round my forehead to keep the shampoo from stinging my eyes and the water from cascading down my face. Maybe you can find something similar.
 
#11 ·
We just never washed DS's hair :)

It was even pretty long, and never really looked dirty. Now he's 3.5 and we wash it probably once a month. He doesn't like it, but at this age we can talk through it. Putting a rag over his eyes and forehead helps a lot.
 
#12 ·
I wish we could let it go that long! We probably could with the boys, but for some reason, DD is so sweaty we could never do that. The other week, we let it go for longer than a week because she had a cold. Not only did it look greasy and straggly, but when I held her on my lap at a concert, her head smelt so bad it was barely tolerable. I do not want her to go to preschool like that!

I guess it's just a sad fact that they all hate it - sometimes you hit on the one ingredient, the one thing to tweak that makes it endurable for them, the right shampoo, the right toy, the right time of day, the right rinsing method, but the fact remains that at some point the cleansing agent has to be applied to the head and rinsed out and if they hate that they hate that. The best I could manage was to teach my kids to hold still and take it and help me get it done as fast as possible....
 
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