WORRIED I'M NOT DOING WELL AT AP…...1 year old boy gets so frantic and cries a lot when…. - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-23-2014, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Almost 13 months now. DS is so sweet and started out so mellow and peaceful, still sweet of course but progressively seems to be so frantic when he doesn't get something he wants, or doesn't get it right away (a certain food, my cell phone, etc.). Is this pretty normal?? Or common for his age?

 

Trying to do our best at AP but it's been rough. I get so moody (need more exercise, doing little things for myself here and there….) And I haven't connected with many other moms since he was born and since we moved, working on making that happen. 

 

Worry I am not doing very well at AP, I know I need to drop the worry and expectations, my perfectionism is tricky when it comes into play where it's not needed. Want to make sure I'm doing the best I can for my precious little angel, he is such a gift as every life is!! :)

 

Blessings and peace to you! :)

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Old 03-23-2014, 12:19 PM
 
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13 months, that is a frustrating age to be and to parent. I call it the three teens, babies get to worked up because they are having a hard time communicating their needs and wants and we have a hard time understanding their needs and wants. How are you connecting with other parents? Have you looked in moms in your area here? http://www.mothering.com/community/f/76/moms-in-your-area


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Old 03-23-2014, 03:40 PM
 
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My babe is 14 months old and hooooly change in personality.  I don't remember my other two changing so much around this age, but they were intense from the start.  This one was pretty mellow to start with, but she is getting FEISTY.  Biting, screaming, hitting, pulling her own hair if she doesn't get her way.  But she's also sweet a lot of the time.  I figure it's because she's struggling with talking - my early talker never went through this, but I can see that this babes wants to communicate so badly, but it's stressful to all.  The more I try to be sweet and understanding with her - and really work on our bond - the better it seems to be.  But geez... she's lucky she's so adorable is all I can say.  These are intense months! :)

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Old 03-24-2014, 12:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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YES, you are so right!! He really gets into a panic when he's pointing to something and nodding his head "yes" that he wants it but for the life of us we can't seem to figure out what it is!!! 

 

I have a few friends back in our old home I talk to and text sometimes, not too often though, been so caught up in all the stuff I'm doing. I've contacted Mom's Club but nothing in my area, same with my church and a few other meet up.com groups I saw. my next venture is to try the link you gave me, thank you!! Also going to the story hour at our library will be good, already found a few kids just playing there my son's age and met a few moms. so far I've just chit-chatted, haven't exchanged contact info yet. Guess I'm a little shy and need to warm up, working on that.

 

Dunny thing….I went to my dermatologist a few months ago and started chatting with the girl changing my bandage one day. Turns out she's new to the area here too, moved from close to where I did, and she hasn't met any moms here either. I was going to ask if we coulf have our kids get together sometime but I was unsure if that was okay since she was a student and working there and me a patient. she had a bluetooth headset on so a nurse could hear us the whole time if she needed any help. So I missed that opportunity. But others will come….

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Old 03-27-2014, 04:14 PM
 
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I am in the same boat with my almost 15 month old dd. I have been doing baby sign language to help her communicate her needs and it is helping a lot. I also breastfeed a lot still and it seems to help her regulate herself throuhout the day (she doesnt stop moving for anyhing else lol ). also I work everyday on calm peacefull communication with her and really encourage her to express her feelings and feel her feelings...I read an article about this and it clicked with me personally and it makes me feel calmer even in the midst of an atomic meltdown lol
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Old 03-28-2014, 06:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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deailedlace, thanks for this! so comforting and inspiring! I need to calm and center myself first to be an example before i can expect him to!! :) Working on that and that article sounds amazing, any chance you have a link to that? If not that's okay. Thanks again!!
 

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Old 03-28-2014, 06:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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tiqa…..thank you for sharing your experience!! it's a tricky time for sure, and sounds like we're on a similar path. I really do think the struggling to talk, walk, communicate is at the heart of the bahavior. Our little ones are really so precious and sweet, I can't imagine trying so hard to express something, especially realted to eating time, and just not being able to!! Our kids are new to this world and learning so much so quickly, it's amazing and frustrating all at the same time. So important we all share our experiences and do our best to help our little angels grow as they do the same for us! :)

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Old 03-29-2014, 08:09 PM
 
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I have a late-talker (he's two) and let me tell you, we've had our meltdowns. Baby sign language has been huge....he was like your LO at that age too. Just a few words: more, help, drink, food, nurse, finished, book, ball etc. They help a lot!


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Old 03-30-2014, 12:21 PM
 
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We took a family vacation the week that our girl turned 1. She went through a big shift that week--started asserting herself much more. I remember vividly trying on the plane flight home to deal with her being needy and demanding, and recollecting that she had not been that way on the flight out. I think it is the age. 

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Old 04-03-2014, 11:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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does seem typical of the age, good to know and thanks for sharing your experiences!

 

I also wonder…..since we're trying to follow AP, am I doing a bad thing by letting my DS cry for several minutes at times? I'm just too exhausted to get out of bed in the morning or on the 3rd, th night waking, lately I've been letting him fuss a bit in the crib before I pick him up. Feel bad about it but also I just don't have the oomph to get up right away. And just feel irritated by so many intteruptions in sleep, first for him, then for and me and hubby. I really don't want to let him cry, and his crib is in our room still so we're there, not letting him cry on his own. But it's still a tricky one, want to be sure I'm nurturing him as best I can.

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Old 04-05-2014, 05:03 PM
 
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Have you tried putting him in bed with you? You don't have to start the night that way, but when you feel like it's really starting to take a toll on your sleep you can tuck him in for the rest of the morning and let him feed while you dose. My first got up every hour for what seemed like forever and the only way I coped was to put him right next to the source. Getting up is soooo hard when you are tired. Also, I don't know what your situation is like, but sleeping during the day as much as you can will help you get through the night better. That isn't always possible though! 


Also, at this age he can cope without any night feedings, so you may want to try night-weaning. I night-weaned my first at 15 months old when I got pregnant with the second. I used Dr. Jay Gordon's method. There were a few rough nights, but he adapted extremely well and we were all better rested. I plan on night-weaning all my children when they are over a year old. I believe responsiveness is extremely important, but as babies get older they also have to learn that boundaries exist and there is a give and take in relationships. They can start learning that at this age if you set the boundary lovingly and stay consistent so they know what to expect. Good luck!


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