Ah…I remember (and long for) the days when we tried to keep DS awake to nurse when he was a newborn. He slept through the night from about 2.5-5.5 months. Bliss!! From 5.5 months till now it's been a stuggle, progressively has been waking several times a night to nurse.
Thinking about night weaning and reading The No Cry Sleep Solution. He is so used to waking each time and going right to nursing. If I try to walk or just hold him he freaks out, wants the comfort of the bm.
Also finicky eating during the day so he might actually be hungry, heard hs tummy rumble a few times lately on these wakings. trying to up his solids during the day, especially at dinner as best we can.
Still seems like no matter what, if he napped really well, had a great happy day with just the right stimulation, ate well…..he still wakes. Probably the teething, seems like his current teeth are taking forever to come in.
Some nights he will only wake once or twice, not sure what caused that blessing, but taking it for what it's worth. :) Other nights wakes more often. It's been exhausting and stressful but I'm doing my best to keep it together for him, it's a challenge!
I also thought that now that he started walking on his own he would sleep better, but seems to wake more and is more fussy and crying than before.
I'm afraid I'm getting into the mindset that "this will never end" and this negative thought it robbing me of enjoying these precious moments of my son while he's still little.
I know every baby is different, but is there hope for a better night's sleep hopefully soon??
My little girl is almost 14 months and has slowly slipped into the pattern of waking several times a night.
In her case, it is teeth. Several started coming in at once and 2 of them are molars. She's ok during the day but they must really hurt at night. The only thing that has truly helped with all my kids is time. Hugs, Mama. Hope it passes quickly.
My fifth child just turned a year old. Just like his older siblings, he still wakes multiple times a night. I figure that since he's so busy during the day, he NEEDS to tank up on milk during the night. He sleeps in bed with us, and I truly have no idea how often he nurses. I'm assuming anywhere between 2-10 times a night? I just latch him on and fall back asleep. I refuse to look at the clock, because somehow that makes it worse! :) Maybe try bringing them to bed with you, if you haven't already?
I really hate this idea that our babies/toddlers *should* sleep through the night, and somehow it is a hallmark of "good parenting" if they do so. :(
all such great feedback and advice, really apreciate it!! So right, I don't know where I got the expectation that they're supposed to sleep through the night before they turn 1. Maybe jsut being hopeful. But expectations I'm finding are what make things hard with motherhood. We need to just go with the flow, be there to help these precious angels aclimate to this new exciting and intimidating world.
And you're right, I stopped looking at the clock mostly too, helps a lot. Need to stop counting how many times he wakes as well…nexy on my list. :)
I would love to have him cosleep but my DH and I move around so much in our sleep, with DS sleeping lightly I know it would wake him even more than he does now. So with all the great caring and support I am finding on these forums, I will accept that for now we are waking and this is part of parenting my DS right now. Things will change in time like josie423 mentioned. Thanks for so much great support and sending hugs to all! ;0)
also where we are the climate is so dry. Though we have a humidifier on al night, I don't think it's enough for the size of our room so I think part of the waking is him feeling dried out and needing the extra feedings to keep hydrated.
I definitely agree with PPs that the expectation of all-night sleeping really sets you up for problems. I found that all of my frustrations were stemming from the fact that I thought DS "should" be sleeping through the night - because the fact of the matter is that I always woke up rested even when he woke to nurse five times.
I know you said you and your DH move around a lot at night, but I wouldn't assume that it would mean DS will wake up more. When you share a sleep space with someone you have an awareness of them (and vice versa - DS will have an awareness of you) - you might move around less with him in the bed, and a greater possibility is that DS will want to nurse LESS because the assurance of your presence is enough for him to get back to sleep. Maybe not - but maybe. Waking up alone, even if he's used to it, may be alarming enough that he can't go back to sleep without nursing, but if he wakes up with you right there, he might be able to get back to sleep easier with just a quick back pat or reassuring snuggle. My DS didn't reliably STTN until age 3, and now at 3.5 he still rolls over and reaches out for me or DH when he stirs. Just something to think about.
With my first, I did not have the expectation of all-night sleep, and she woke frequently throughout the night. It was hard, but I was more or less OK with it. But with my second, I knew I would be a better parent if she slept for longer chunks of time. She is 12 months and usually sleeps from 6:30pm to 6:15am with one feeding at 10pm when I go to bed. I am so much saner and happy with her and her sister in the day. It gives me more energy for the other parts of attachment parenting, such as baby-wearing her or homeschooling her older sister.
My thoughts are that if it works to be up a lot at night, then that is great for both of you. But if need more sleep, its also totally possible to work towards longer periods of sleep too. I don't feel less of an attached parent because I get more sleep - in fact I feel much much better. There are lots of strategies to gently work towards it. It doesn't have to mean crying it out. For me it was having the goal of sleeping through the night and taking small steps in that direction.
Good luck =)
Seriously, my 13 month old is nursing all night long. We bedshare in a full size floor bed. I have added a pallet for her next to my side of the bed but it is so hard to break the habits I have and keep her over there all night. I just *know* that when she isn't crammed into bed with DH and I she will sleep better...
I have nothing for you but commiseration.
She eats great off and on. For instance today she had a fried egg, a slice of grass fed cheddar, a quarter of an apple, and six ounces of homemade raw kefir. It was not a great day. The day before she had a fried egg, a small banana, six ounces I coconut water, 12 ounces of kefir, a quarter of an apple, a quarter of a sweet potato, a quarter cup of homemade white bean chilli and a few small bites of cheese. Much better. She still nursed like she was on the clock last night.
DD has eight teeth, her first year molars are set to come in next. Her gums have been swollen off and on. They were swollen this last weekend and sleep was worse. I figure it could be anything, but the teeth don't help her to sleep that's for sure!
Hang in there. It can only get better from here.
Born August1982. Love/Marriage May2003/June2010. Home birth for daughter March2013.
thank yo so much for this. Yep, DS looks like his molars are working too. In fact, seems like all the rest of his teeth are trying to come in at once poor guy! He has 8 now too. He is eating better and I realize too that my perception is off sometimes. I tend to look at all the food he didn't eat and worry, but his diaper changes seem fine, he seems good with weight, and I'm learning not to worry. He is discovering more and more foods he loves, like raspberries, cheese, etc.. so he is excited when we give him these new foods that he loves. I appreciate your advice.
I know I haven't been able to reply to everyone's comments but know that I read them all and apprecaite all the time and care you put into them!! Blessings to everyone on their journey!!!! :)
My son never slept through the night until he was 2.5 years old. When we potty trained him one week (it seriously took like one week idk what I did right) and then bam he started sleeping through the night. That week I also got pregnant with our daughter. Go figure. She's now 17 months old and doesn't sleep through the night yet. Still has at least one bottle in the middle of the night. We can't get her to take sippy cups, she won't take a straw, she won't eat solids (just baby food/purees). IDK what to do with her. I hope you find something that works. Not sleeping sucks. :-)
I've got a son named Trenton born Sept 15th, 2009 and a daughter named Graelyn born November 27th, 2012. Plus three furbabies, Thomas the cat, Chester the rabbit, and Henry the dog.
I definitely recommend night-weening. Around 8 months, we started holding our twins instead of feeding them. And it helped them sleep through the night really quickly. There were obviously some tears, but I still considered it very gentle since they were not alone and have never been alone at night. My husband works nights, and sleeping with them allows me to have one cuddled in each arm while they go to sleep and I can adjust to my side once they fall asleep (if I'm still awake). If they wake at all in the night I employ this method, but they have been sleeping through the night for the most part for several months (they are 14 months).
Oh, and mine really don't eat that much in solids. So I don't think that the waking has much to do with that. They take several bottles during the day and my husband does a dream feed at 11:00 before he goes to work. They eat 3 tiny snack-size meals in solids and they are growing and developing fine.
Yes, removing the clock from the bedroom and not counting the number of wakings was very helpful to me. I also tried to focus on how I felt during the day - I actually felt very rested in spite of the night nursing. DS has always slept in our bed and didn't sleep through the night for the first time - ever! - until he was over 3.
Another thing that I think can be a factor (in addition to teeth) in babies who previously slept through the night as infants and then stopped, is that they are more aware of their surroundings and need the added security in the night. They might be more alarmed by noises and such, maybe they have dreams that freak them out a little, and need the reassurance. When my son was old enough to express himself verbally, it was clear that nighttime was a scary time for him, in spite of the fact that he has always slept in between us.