Need help with my Co-Sleeping, BFing 16month old. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 06-01-2014, 11:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Need help with my Co-Sleeping, BFing 16month old.

My dd is 16months old (on the 4th). She still BFs and co-sleeps. But no one is getting much sleep anymore. She is restless and wants most of the bed. DH isn't getting enough sleep and with his job he NEEDS plenty of sleep or it's not safe. She nurses to sleep and wakes up 2-4 times at night and has to nurse back to sleep. She will not go back to sleep without nursing. I need her to move to her own room. I don't care if she nurses to sleep or wakes up during the night to sleep. But I need her to stay in there.

Right now, I nurse her almost to sleep, give her her paci, rock her the rest of the way to sleep and then lay her in her crib. If she wakes up, I rub her back until she goes back to sleep. She will sleep maybe an hour tops in there and then wakes back up. At this point I have to move her to our bed bc even if I nurse her and get her back to sleep she will wake right up when I lay her back down and stay laying down.

Here's the worst part. This child doesn't just cry. She SCREAMS. She always has. She has never just cried normal LOL She screams like you're killing her. And she won't "self soothe". The longer she cries, the worst it gets. Granted she's never been left to actually cry longer than a minute or so. So when she wakes up when I lay her in the crib, rather than whimper or cry she SCREAMS and I can't handle it.

But it's time, I need her to sleep in her own room. Any advice? TIA!
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#2 of 9 Old 06-02-2014, 02:59 AM
 
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It doesn't sound like she is ready to move to her own room. Have you considered moving with her? Or your husband moving to a different room? We did this when our second DD was about 8mo. We did it so I could nightwean DD1 and then discovered how much sleep we all got :-)

I have bedrails on the bed DD2(18mo) and I sleep in but DH and DD1 just have a mattress on the floor.
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#3 of 9 Old 06-02-2014, 08:10 PM
 
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DH and I have also spent periods here and there sleeping in separate beds. DS was like that; trying to put him in a different room was futile and so much more frustrating than him hogging the bed. The way for all of us to get good sleep was for DH to sleep in the guest bed. Now DS is 3.5, still cosleeping, and it's much more enjoyable for everyone.



Living and loving in ATX with DH (of 7 years) and DS (3.5)
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#4 of 9 Old 06-03-2014, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Right now she just has a crib in her room but we've been thinking about putting a twin bed in there for her. I think we will get on that this weekend. Thanks :-)
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#5 of 9 Old 06-06-2014, 05:39 PM
 
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Wow, she sounds exactly like my DD at that age. In fact I wrote a very similar post at the same age! I have no magic to offer you..... Just to say it does get better. DD started sleeping thru the night at 17-18 months & she just did it on her own. She is now just 2 yrs old and is as excellent sleeper- a full 12 hrs in her bed at night & 3 hr nap in the afternoon. Hang in there mama!
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#6 of 9 Old 08-15-2014, 05:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sierramtngirl View Post
Wow, she sounds exactly like my DD at that age. In fact I wrote a very similar post at the same age! I have no magic to offer you..... Just to say it does get better. DD started sleeping thru the night at 17-18 months & she just did it on her own. She is now just 2 yrs old and is as excellent sleeper- a full 12 hrs in her bed at night & 3 hr nap in the afternoon. Hang in there mama!
This gives me such hope! I'm in a similar boat with my 13.5 month old. My husband has moved to the couch, and our little guy has been waking many many times per night (7? 8?) for the last few nights. Usually it's not so bad - I'm guessing there's some teething going on. But I am TIRED. And I'm totally against doing anything that he's not developmentally ready for. So it's good to know that, possibly, someday, we may sleep again.
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#7 of 9 Old 08-16-2014, 04:33 PM
 
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Ha, this sounds just like DS2. Good thing I didn't have him first, or he'd be an only. I just console myself with the fact that he'll grow out of it sometime...and the sleep will just suuuuuuuuuuck until that day comes. Either that or I'm gonna get cozy with some melatonin.
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#8 of 9 Old 08-18-2014, 12:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by babymakes3 View Post
My dd is 16months old (on the 4th). She still BFs and co-sleeps. But no one is getting much sleep anymore. She is restless and wants most of the bed. DH isn't getting enough sleep and with his job he NEEDS plenty of sleep or it's not safe. She nurses to sleep and wakes up 2-4 times at night and has to nurse back to sleep. She will not go back to sleep without nursing. I need her to move to her own room. I don't care if she nurses to sleep or wakes up during the night to sleep. But I need her to stay in there.

Right now, I nurse her almost to sleep, give her her paci, rock her the rest of the way to sleep and then lay her in her crib. If she wakes up, I rub her back until she goes back to sleep. She will sleep maybe an hour tops in there and then wakes back up. At this point I have to move her to our bed bc even if I nurse her and get her back to sleep she will wake right up when I lay her back down and stay laying down.

Here's the worst part. This child doesn't just cry. She SCREAMS. She always has. She has never just cried normal LOL She screams like you're killing her. And she won't "self soothe". The longer she cries, the worst it gets. Granted she's never been left to actually cry longer than a minute or so. So when she wakes up when I lay her in the crib, rather than whimper or cry she SCREAMS and I can't handle it.

But it's time, I need her to sleep in her own room. Any advice? TIA!
I moved my baby to a floor bed in her own room when she bang doing a little bedtime dance much like you are describing. It was great because I could nurse and cuddle her to sleep without needing to move her anywhere. It took some patience when she first became mobile, so beginning at an older age may be tough, but it has been wonrful. She sleeps 10-12 hours straight in her own room now, and we all sleep much better than when she slept in our room. Not all babies like ℅ sleeping full time. Mine just likes the bedtime cuddle, and then she kinda pushes me away to get comfy and settle down to sleep.

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#9 of 9 Old 08-18-2014, 12:57 PM
 
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I mean to say, it's not just crib or ℅ sleeping. You can do something in the middle like snuggling to sleep and sneaking off. A child this age is definitely capable of sleeping in her own room without that affecting your bond, if that's in her personality.

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