I didn't know they had freecycle in the UK, I'll look into that.
The puppy gates also look like they're more reasonably price and hopefully roughly the same thing. We'll look into the other things as well. We're in Ormskirk, so I don't really know. My partner grew up in Liver pool so is used to having a lot more freedom to travel and options nearby, and we haven't had any idea where to start looking.
On top of the house being so bad, MIL also has decided that my partner is an incompetent parent and keeps pushing all the responsibility onto me. She refuses to see any times that my partner is being a good parent, and will even get in the way. Whenever my partner tries to stop kiddo from doing something, even if it's something that could hurt him, she tells my partner off for it. Every time my partner has gotten kiddo to calm down and sitting with him, she'll come in and tell him to do something- getting kiddo upset again. She puts all the responsibility of making decisions on me, etc. Not only is it infuriating to see her constantly undermining and putting down my partner, it's also not fair to put all of it on me.
MIL has also gotten into the lovely
habit of opening the oven door with kiddo right there
. One time, our baby was actually reaching into the oven when my partner came in and was luckily able to grab him away. There are two other adults in the house, there is NO need for this. And I do NOT care if her freaking food burns to a crisp, making sure the child is safe is more important! So we've gone from living with someone who just can't keep kiddo safe to one who actually puts him in danger.
Even though it seemed like the trying to get FIL internet and leave early was something we could agree on, my partner is now really against leaving again and keeps complaining that I'm so negative. I don't know what to do. I really, really, really don't want to go home on my own. I'm not sure how my partner would feel if I did take the baby and went back- he'd be really upset that FIL couldn't spend time with his grandson, and the rest of his family is a nightmare that'll get really antagonistic towards him if we did. My partner's actually straight up said that he relies on me to be a buffer for the negativity the rest of his family pours on him- because they'll be polite to me. At the same time, I'm pretty horrified that my partner's willing to keep our baby in such a dangerous space.
I'm really worrying that our relationship isn't going to survive this trip no matter what we do. We barely have any time to actually communicate, if I leave it's going to be even harder, every option is going to end with serious hurt feelings and when we both end up back in the US we'll still have a lot of responsibilities and stresses that'll make it hard to just sort it out.
It's not fair. This was supposed to be a really calm, relaxing break where my partner could reconnect with his family and our baby could meet everyone. We spent months
talking to MIL to make sure this wouldn't happen. And now we're stuck in a stressful nightmare.