We couldn't split up the tickets, so it would be financially very, very hard for us to not go together. Until this weekend, my partner wanted to go back on the 28th. They finally agreed it was better to go back on the 16th. When we looked into changing the tickets, the price for the 28th had doubled- so it seems like fate was going to intervene either way. I'm glad my partner came to the conclusion to go the 16th without that, though, because it would've been really rough if they were still set on the 28th and the price doubled like that.
We've got tickets to go back the 16th, leaving first thing in the morning, and I'm just hanging on. Two more days. Tomorrow we're spending the day out with FIL. We told them that my mom is going in for heart surgery (true- we just fudged the dates) to avoid any problems. His mom still takes any upset personally. While she was out yesterday, my partner and I had a fight and I took a walk to cool off. She came back while I was still out, and flipped out about how horrible I was for being upset with her without talking to her about it, comparing me to her hated DIL. She wasn't even around and still assumed I got upset at her. I'm frustrated that it took my partner so long to leave, but we spent a few more days at FIL's and were able to make plans for (hopefully) just him to visit over the winter, so that's good.
I really hate how long we've been here. MIL has gotten progressively worse. We tried child-proofing the place a little more, and just putting up a sheet of cardboard to block off the fireplace (it's never lit, kiddo just was picking coals out of it) caused her to throw this major
temper tantrum and she instead moved it to block the door outside to justify letting him into the (very unsafe) kitchen- he can move it easily from there. Yeah. That's how child-proofing has gone. We've pretty much refused to leave kiddo alone with her, although that makes it really hard for us to actually talk. On the upside, this trip's helped my partner realize just how many toxic messages they got growing up and hopefully that'll help them.
Ohmigosh I cannot
express enough how incredibly grateful I am that we had our first in the US. We'd always talked about trying to immigrate to the UK, it's still possibly on the table in the future (although it looks unlikely), and it would have been a nightmare if we had. MIL would not have left us alone,a nd in the early post-partum days we probably would have appreciated the help,a nd she would have ruined everything. She constantly insults my partner and dismisses them, especially wrt kiddo. Kiddo's almost 15 months old, we've been equal co-partners, my partner's been a great parent, and being here has still started making them doubt their abilities. If we were around this when kiddo was first born, it would have destroyed everything.
It's really an emotional roller coaster. Because we're leaving, I get periods where I'm calm and happy, more content than I've felt in years. We've consistently been in really stressful situations the last few years, we're finally in a point where we have a good deal of control over our life and live in a place we like, it's scary not having a job lined up, but we did a good job saving up and are great at budgeting so I'm not as worried about it as I thought. I'm really hoping that once we get home and settled, things will really look up. But just being in MIL's house is incredibly stressful, even when she's not there we fight horribly. We've started taking kiddo for a walk more often and just leaving the house is enough for us to calm down and have an open conversation. So it's good that it's pretty likely that we're going to be okay once we get back, but I hate being in a place that's so miserable.
And now we have to convince my mom not to be there when we get back and hope she hasn't #@[email protected]
with the apartment while we were gone.